i think i might be physcotic?!

clownfreak9000

clownfreak9000

Well-Known Member
Ok so my whole liffe mostly
i have had lets say more moments then i care to share where i just lose it.
I don't black out, but i get to where i don't have control.
its been to the point i have almost beat somone into a coma(they ran off with 10$ ) i beat his face into the ground and didn't stop until my friends pulld me off ( i was going to make him eat a big rock forcably (more of a life lesson imo)
because i can't stop unless somones stops me
all it is is like pure hatred.
I'm not a violent. person at all until this happens.
but is this physcosis or just me being an ahole.
i hate hurting anyone and is the sole reason i try to be a passivist.
And one of the big reasons i smoke but i still come close to losing it even if I'm high as shit.
maybe I'm the kind of person prison was ment for?
i think deep down I'm a violent physcopath....i know i have it in me
HOWEVER i have hit my head so many times maybe its from that?
 
Bloody_hands.jpg


You should probably practice reciting "Oh God what have I done?"
 
Lol idk about that as i don't have the signns of a killer.. but hey at least im learning to be comfortable with myself!

...that shit made me laugh tho
 
I don't wanna say this but, no reality is not concrete anymore somedays are better and others i question everything and everyone on somedays. like i can tell vastly day from day. I once in awhile see tracers or a shadow move but i kno its not real. I know the days (like today kind of) where I'm lucid and aware.
I always just tell people i get distracted really easy but somtimes i can't even make heads or tails of what there saying but everyone else can
Somedays i wake up just a shell.
like almost everyday i wake up feeling like a different person each day.

and no i can control my temper its just some instances where i flip out somtimes over minor shhit.
 
clownfreak9000 said:
I don't wanna say this but, no reality is not concrete anymore somedays are better and others i question everything and everyone on somedays. like i can tell vastly day from day. I once in awhile see tracers or a shadow move but i kno its not real. I know the days (like today kind of) where I'm lucid and aware.
I always just tell people i get distracted really easy but somtimes i can't even make heads or tails of what there saying but everyone else can
Somedays i wake up just a shell.
like almost everyday i wake up feeling like a different person each day.

and no i can control my temper its just some instances where i flip out somtimes over minor shhit.
Click to expand...

Time for some help and not the kind you'll find here, I wish I could help but I would probably cause more harm then good, having a similar issue myself...best of luck.
 
Everyone is walking around has problems, its how we deal with it that counts. Hell, what about all "the starving kids in China"...which is another way of saying you got first-world problems, so things could be a lot worse. If violence turns into your answer to solving your problems and you act like you are the biggest badass in town, someone will make sure you find out your not. Take a deep breath, put on some music, a drag of the joint, and thank God that you weren't born in Libya.
 
This is why I practice H2H , as well asDefense
defensive firearm training

and it's not just for self defense , but it is very calming
 
i used to hit walls and pillows when i was really pissed, now i turn to fighting games, tai chi and every damn episode of the simpsons as well as every kevin smith movie (pertaining jay & silent bob) ever made to calm me down.
 
You would think that but no.
i have lost fights.
i had my head stomped into ground.
I'm in no way trying to be a badass
i said i do not like violence and i don't.
 
Unfortunately i know i need help. i have tried to get help before but no one listens all they want to do is give me meds that make me wanna blow my head off or somone else's.
the great soulition = give him antidepressants because those always turn out great will just ignore the shootings from them and give them to people anyway its cool. <sarcasm
 
Get yourself under control before you end up dead or in jail. Whatever is causing you to be so mad? You need to find out release your emotions normally don't bottle them, tell people how you feel with your words, not actions. Trust me man I've been there it's not worth sittin in that cell, nothin is.
 
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