Gary Goodson
Well-Known Member
Have you or a loved one died? Are you dead right now? Is being dead starting to affect your love life? What about work? Did you get skipped for a promotion because you were dead? Maybe one of your living coworkers thinks he's better than you because he is still breathing and blood is pumping through his veins? This type of discrimination needs to stop and it needs to stop now! I will not stand for it!
My name is Jesus and let me tell you, I have a revolutionary plan to resurrect your decaying lifeless corpse! Just ask one of my client, Lazarus
Lazarus: "I could hear my sisters Martha and Mary crying, some say even Jesus wept too.
Next thing you know I hear a loud voice telling me to come forth and then BAM I was alive again! It was soooo amazing!"
See, just like that! People all over the world are buying my program to reanimate dead loved ones left and right. It only cost one easy payment of your life... But wait there's more! Each purchase comes with a free dick slap to the face!
"Not only am I the president... I'm also a client!"
Zombie Jesus is a registered trademark of zombie Jesus LLC 2015
HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!
My name is Jesus and let me tell you, I have a revolutionary plan to resurrect your decaying lifeless corpse! Just ask one of my client, Lazarus
Lazarus: "I could hear my sisters Martha and Mary crying, some say even Jesus wept too.
Next thing you know I hear a loud voice telling me to come forth and then BAM I was alive again! It was soooo amazing!"
See, just like that! People all over the world are buying my program to reanimate dead loved ones left and right. It only cost one easy payment of your life... But wait there's more! Each purchase comes with a free dick slap to the face!
"Not only am I the president... I'm also a client!"
Zombie Jesus is a registered trademark of zombie Jesus LLC 2015
HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!
Last edited:
