How to keep pee warm for a drug tes(I am a female)! HELP

[minnesmoker]

I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!

First, you're shitting, right? If it's a serious piss test, they'll probably match specimen gender with specimen. FAIL.

Condoms? Non-latex, no lubricant, spermicide, or powder, I hope. Otherwise, "Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!"

And finally, about 2.5 CM behind your pee-hole, you'll find a stash hole. You'd know this, I'm assuming, if you were legally old enough to agree to the TOS. Anyway... That hole, it goes inside your body, where you can keep things inserted there at "body temperature." Hint on this one. Use an inflatable device (like a soft douche bottle) use a tube with a positive stop (like a clamp) and it's that time of the month (so you won't have to explain the dangling "string" if it's any kind of correctional or rehabilitation or probationary educational drug test, and it's "witnessed" and to help keep that bottle of piss in place, just in case you don't do your daily 10 minutes of Kegel exercise.)

Oh yeah, and, I didn't read this thread, at all. I just assumed that none of the shit in this post had been said. Just like you didn't use the search function, and thought you were the first woman, ever, to wonder how to beat a piss test.

 

[ChimpLord]

I agree with slowbus,temperature strips are a must or a baby thermometer.You want it to be 96-98 degrees when you hand it over although they will just check their temp strip for a reading of 90 -100.They will then check off a box on the form for correct temp and you are good to go.Don't be nervous you will do fine.

 

[ChimpLord]

That is for a pre employment test...Anything else would not apply.

 

[indoroids]

put the pee inside thin plastic
place the plastic around your stomach
that will keep the pee at same heat with your body and keep it warm

 

[Cindy West]

Do not believe that if you hadnt smoked in a week ur good....thats str8 horseapples...its acccording to body fat content how long it takes to exit ur body the reason my wife takes her pis now was pissing after 27 days no smoking she failed one...for most 1 month if you ve smoked everyday for a while and who are we kiddin ...i smokes everyday and so does the wifey...but hey im jus sayin if i piss in a cup in a week for drug test ...it would turn green and fail the hell outta it

I failed one after not smoking for SEVEN WEEKS! Lost out on a killer job. Been a year and a half now, but still pissed.

 

[oldtimer54]

You said you had until Wednesday practice , practice , practice......by that I mean you should be able to work out any concerns you may have about temp by then and depending on how in depth the test is they can differentiate male urine from female urine. I would probably just use my own urine and just flush my system with water until test day.....I've done that before with shorter abstinence times and passed.

 

[urinecredable]

I have never seen a more useless thread in all my life. Not one person one here gave information that was even remotely helpful. Labs will NOT run the tests necessary to determine gender. ANY container worn outside the body will lose temp at a rate that will likelybrender them useless. Do yourself a favor and go to Grass City's how to beat a drug test forum.

 

[6ohMax]

Just stick that shit between your taint

 

[Noyfb parry]

Hello everybody, i just had to create an account here to add my 2 cents. I'm a female with a lot of experience passing observed and unobserved drug tests. Everybody failed to mention using the microwave, which is why i had to create an account lol i warm it up in a coffee cup for 15 seconds, then transfer it into whatever method u choose. Personally i use condoms, securely under my boob with a Tight sport bra that will hold it firmly against my skin to keep the temp. I've never failed yet (knock on wood lol) also for some tests i use the microwave and put it inside a small plastic bottle, stick it in ur vag and it will definitely keep the correct temp. For a backup excuse (i haven't needed this yet but it's possible i could) i carry an ice pack in my hands, and i always say my back is achy, so i use it for pain. That way, *if* i were to fail for temp (i haven't yet) then i could always say it must be because of that ice pack cuz its freezing but helps my 'pain' . Just my 2c, good luck to everybody n smoke a J for me , peace out

 

[Noyfb parry]

Ps the ice pack i carry is Large, not a little one, ya need a large one that would be convincing enough to drop your temp

 

[Noyfb parry]

Pps if your pissing for a family doc who prescribes narcotics to you, put the condom under your LEFT boob cuz I've had a close call before where he did a general physical exam, poking around my liver n gall bladder, which is on the right side. I actually did have a condom under my right boob at that time, n scared the S* outta me so from then on i only use the Left boob, again, just my 2c different methods work for different people, just sharing what had worked for me, n I've passed multiple tests.

 

[Noyfb parry]

Ppps they've never mentioned the test containing lube (from the condom) but if they do, my excuse will be that i had sex last night, which is funny as hell cuz im a lez, but any excuse will do, as long as they pass me who gives a phuck right lol

 

[ChingOwn]

DId they tell you to put it in your vagina yet? cause that is what you should do in most cases that involve hiding drugs or drug related things

 

[Noyfb parry]

Duh yes people said that multiple times, including one person who said use anal but women r fortunate enough we can just use vag and that's good enuff

 

[Cindy West]

I think your brother is smarter than that, but that's just half of the point.
It would be bad if your brother smoked weed and got you busted. And I think that you will be safe to use your own piss after almost a month!

Google it! type "how long after smoking weed will I pass a drug test?"

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120125182306AAaR0Y8

This guy says that the urine test will only catch you if you have smoked WEED in the past week.
the thing he says about 45 days is only about the weed that is in your system, a urine test wont be able to detect that at all and you shouldn't be scared at all unless you have smoked weed in the past 7 days.

The best thing you can do is to just use your own piss, then you will be sure that of the fact that weed cant be detected in ur pee after almost a month. (Besides, millions of people ask these questions, so you can be totally sure that this info is accurate. We know you're scared! no body wants to get busted by pigs! or whoever it is in your case.)

I stopped smoking for 2 months & still failed a urine test. I'll never use my own urine again.

 

[Corso312]

That's impossible.....unless you weigh a metric ton.

 

[Cindy West]

That's impossible.....unless you weigh a metric ton.

Was that meant for me? I'm new on this site.

 

[mr sunshine]

I would much prefer to have someone else's urine in a bottle in my butt than in my vajayjay.

Lol.. fuck, I'm laughing so hard right now. + rep!!! .

 

[Singlemalt]

Duh yes people said that multiple times, including one person who said use anal but women r fortunate enough we can just use vag and that's good enuff

Have you ever hidden a gun in your vag?

 

[Downtowntillman]

I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!

Don't use a hand warmer. Way too hot. Get as close to your skin. Let your own body heat regulate it. I took urine test for over 7.yrs used to sell a kit I made. Little bladder you could attach and a hose with a clamp. Hell I even sold urine that had certain drugs in them. You need methadone in your system. Got ya, need oxycodone in it? No problem. I have made money in many many ways. Ok I open the door for some good comments. No I never gave head.