I was out of line. Drinking Tito's vodka, turned me into a heartless bastard, no excuses though. I deserve a floggin.
I apologize to
@justugh , my condolences brother.
thank u .......
Honestly, I don't. My grandfathers were both assholes to me and my bio dad isn't dead yet. No love lost there.
I envy you the positive relationship you had with your dad. Anything you cherish is more than I got.
No longer bitter, just providing some perspective.
the bottom part will cover it
Oh man! was going to bed and saw your thread. I know how it feels to lose a parent. Stay close to your family and/or friends right now. Don't isolate yourself. Vent here. I am sorry you are in pain my friend. HUGS TO YOU. Seriously. stay connected to people in any way you can ok? And if you're on meds. Take them. Heart goes out to you J.U.
u do not understand .......i can not be in public lessons learned over the years i think to differently ......to me giving someone a joint if they smoke is complete ok as i have shit loads ....but here i go to jail (infact that happen the last happy drunk day in public ...since that day i only drink at home or deep in the woods at a camp site)
thanks tho .......the ppl that know i am still alive have come by (when my little brother died we got cards for him and me....most assuming i died and they kept it quite as i am me) it makes it safer for me ....only 5 ppl alive know my god given name the rest of the world knows me by anouther (been called it since first grade and i adopted it)
You don't know wtf you're talking about.
Ever heard about honor among thieves? There are still lines I will not cross and this is one of them
Just because we might not agree on things doesn't mean I cant feel for you in your time of need.
@justugh do you want to slam another drink?
naw the drinking was not working (i make and drink 140 proof moonshine) so i used seroquil took 300 mgs .....knocked me the fuck out for 12 hours
I don't know you but hurt is hurt and I think everyone can relate to those painful times .....lost a parent when I was young so I know the feeling ......but sounds like your dad tried to set you up to have a good life even after he passed ......so hopefully after some time and emotion you can live your life with good memories and share them with your nephew for many years to come ........good luck to you and your fam .....sorry
knuckle bump
He breathed a sigh of relief? Can you explain that?
Its not about me, Its about amish. He knows that. He knows I got his back to.
u and me are strait u need a hand with something .....just ask
the final part
what u normal ppl do not understand ( i call u normal as u are ) .....this is me since i was 13 this shit in my head took over i lost impulse control i have no filter on my mouth (i think it i say it) .....before this happen i was just dyslexic but that was fine little more work i keep up A (yes As on report cards) i have a 129 with adhd ......that is why i seem like a know it all because i learned info and it stuck ......think about a normal day how much u think now times that by 20 to 50 and your at my lvl all the time
when i was 14 they turned the classes to 1 and half hours .......i could not sit there i just could not i was so bored they would not let me sleep ......by that time my mother had become bed ridden from diebaties (took her eye sight and most of the coatings on the nerves ....120 mg Oxycontin every 8-10 hours .....this is back in 94 ) so it was go to the school of bad kids as i could not sit in class for a hour and half they sent me to jail school ......the worst of the worst in the county got sent there for schooling (this is the place u go before get expelled for all schools) ....or drop out and care for my mother in the day time so my father could work and little brother could be a kid ....14 to 20 this is what i did until she passed on xmas eve 2001 day time i took care of her weekend i ran the party house to make myself cash fri sat sun the basement would be filled with ppl doing deals(record was 86 ppl in 4 rooms)....as the house i got a cut of everything .....raided 3 times but they never got anything major just a quarter oz i forgot to lock up in the hidden wall
well i tried to go strait for a few years .......fast food jobs ...night shift work at lumber yard....construction ....night shift gas stations ....sales rep for a ad firm (they hire us and we go to store and show off new products ....secret shoppers)..computer training skills MCSA here on windows and cat6 cable licensed ....9 years of this ......finally i broke down and went to apply for SSI under bi polar .......3 years of doctors and pills i hate (turns into a walking pill zombie u feel nothing)....i get to court we do the whole thing they turned me down called me a druggie and a drunk .......when i got that i said oh yah and started my current op ......make moonshine and grow weed
now in illegal state ......so dating is 100% out of the question just because ladies can be a bit crazy and if she got mad make 1 call i be doing life in state prison and some time in federal prison once state is done with my body
i tried i can not fake normal i can not act like u ppl i see something i do something ......someone sitting on the side looking for hand out if i am flush with cash i drop 20 50 bucks to them ....i see a guy hit a lady i tackle the guy and release the rage same thing if kick a dog or mess with a kid ...hell i covered a ladies rent for 3 months so she could get back on feet with kids and i barley knew her
in the world full of liers and asses i am a easy mark .......it is part of bi polar to trusting .....with out someone normal around me to stop me i will give away most of what i own.......hell for 5 years now i been given my father 1500 to 2000 a month because i do not want it keep 600-300 a month for cost of food smokes gas ......looking for paperwork i just found almost 5k in cash in one of the folders in the office here i made another 1700 that is sitting next to me .......
I don't have any mental illness in my family and STD free. 
