Whats your best pick-up line? post here!

[congo5150]

"Do you smoke weed?"

"Wanna go back to my place and smoke some weed?"

Gets laid...

Having drugs and an impressive residence to do drugs in is the best pick up line. Girls don't give a shit about what you think about their looks until after they decide they're attracted to you. Which is usually after you do some level of demonstrating you've got your shit together. Having a supply of weed to share and your own house to hangout (no roommates to cramp your couch game) is usually all the game you need man.

I've never had a problem. I mean, I'm also tall with symmetrical facial features, can cook, went to vocational school for and am a certified medical massage therapist, play all the cool instruments, and run three of my own businesses.

My wife is way hotter than me and she still had to fight through some others lol.

Your success is your best pick up line. They come to you.

bravo

 

[cannabineer]

What are all the cool instruments?

The Glockenspiel is pretty cool ... definitely percussion

Edited after sobering for (!) spelig

 

[curious2garden]

Yoga lederhosen

ZaraHosen

 

[cannabineer]

Hey Cn did you ever see your Dad in Lederhosen pics as a youngster?

Nooooo!
That was a serious missed experience.

 

[cannabineer]

Have you pee'd in them yet?

Something tells me the model would get pissed.

 

[congo5150]

heres a good one...

i stay busier than a cucumber in a womans prison...

assuming if they dont eat the cucumber instead they use it as a dildo

 

[Hookabelly]

Have you pee'd in them yet?

Peed-er-hosin

 

[curious2garden]

Peed-er-hosin

OMG, and he did

 

[cannabineer]

Peed-er-hosin

I was eight. The leather held the liquid until I stood up. I so very much did not want to stand up in front of my classmates. You'd think that would traumatize me but no. I still like boiled Bavarian cowtrou.

 

[Rasta Roy]

What are all the cool instruments?

Guitar, drums, piano.

 

[cannabineer]

Wait, kids are human? oh shit

I believe the church has ruled them white meat, sort of like capybara is a fish in the eyes of God.

(edit) Confirming link! Fresh off the true part of the Internet!

ww.cogwriter.com/news/church-history/when-does-rodent-become-a-fish-for-lent-apparently/

 

[cannabineer]

Is that a euphemism for auto-pleasuring?

When I lived back east in the land of winter batteries and oil, we practiced a lot of auto-suggestion. "come on baby come on baby come on ..."

 

[420God]

"If I would’ve known I’d be getting this wet tonight, I would’ve worn my bikini."

"You look like a really hard worker. I have an opening you can fill."

I've heard them all.

 

[curious2garden]

Is that a euphemism for auto-pleasuring?

It could be

 

[curious2garden]

"If I would’ve known I’d be getting this wet tonight, I would’ve worn my bikini."

"You look like a really hard worker. I have an opening you can fill."

I've heard them all.

LOL ++ rep

 

[cannabineer]

"If I would’ve known I’d be getting this wet tonight, I would’ve worn my bikini."

"You look like a really hard worker. I have an opening you can fill."

I've heard them all.

But have you heard " ... you gay? ... You wanna be?"
Plus rep for inverting the thread's premise!



You gay? ...

 

[congo5150]

would you rather have a 500 pound fat guy be on top of you fucking you or have a dog lick your pussy for 5 minutes.

if shes answers dog licking pussy, shes into beastiality so you should stay away from her

on the other hand, if she answers a 500 pound fat guy, shes not vain, not into looks, she may be a keeper

 

[cat of curiosity]

'you have the prettiest eyes... they're as blue as the water in my toilet!'

'do you believe in love at first sight, or do i need to walk by again?'

'was your daddy a terrorist? cuz baby, you da bomb!'

'was your dad a septic pumper? cuz, damn girl, you're the shit!'

'nice shoes! wanna fuck?'

 

[congo5150]

is the blue ocean trapped within your beautiful blue eyes because i want to go swimming in it

are your blue eyes sweet like blueberries? cus i want to eat the fuck out of it

 

[congo5150]

'you have the prettiest eyes... they're as blue as the water in my toilet!'

'do you believe in love at first sight, or do i need to walk by again?'

'was your daddy a terrorist? cuz baby, you da bomb!'

'was your dad a septic pumper? cuz, damn girl, you're the shit!'

'nice shoes! wanna fuck?'

gonna steal that theyre blue as the water in my toilet line. well done my friend