Dude we all have struggles no matter what ....all we can do is take it day by day. I can literally worry/stress myself into a damn panic attack thinking to far ahead. I just set reminders for my bills and take things as they come now bro. The mind is a powerful thing for sure. Another thing that may help is focusing on the positive shit even in the bad situations.
Example- at least you do have some income coming in. I see lots of people who suffer from illnesses living in the streets. Also, you say you grow shitty weed ...guess what, the beauty of growing is learning and becoming better at it. I can't even begin to tell you the fucked up shit I've grown in the past... Plus all the mistakes I've made....But like anything else we can learn from our mistakes and we can look forward to the results from fixing those mistakes.
GL dude