You Know You're a Stoner if....

Hashbean420

Hashbean420

Member
c'mon my fellow potheads! tell me some "you know your a stoner if" jokes!!!

you know your a stoner if: you pack a fresh bowl and half an hour later realize you forgot to smoke it.:joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint:
 
newbud123

newbud123

Active Member
A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"

The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads.

" So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV

. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.

He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
 
Ramen Shaman

Ramen Shaman

Well-Known Member
You know you're a stoner when you hear words like "bowl, beat, bud, cherry, dime, fried, or hash," and immediately think of pot.

Example:

Friend: "Man, if I just had a dime, I'd go get a soda."
Me: "I know a guy, but he doesn't usually deal under an eighth."
Friend: "Whoa, what? I meant I'm a dime short of getting a soda."
*Awkward silence*
Me: "Oh.......Disregard my previous statement."
 
T

Translucent Explorer

Active Member
When you are sitting in a car, parked across the road consumed in clouds.

As fun as it sounds tempting fate blocking a road with four friends attacking a king cone each, stress levels do become elevated.
When a police siren sounds after a long short time of a 0:100 ratio of oxygen to shrubs, instinct teaches us RUN!!
Instinct also teaches us that looking back to see 2 people running, a car that seems to be on fire due to an abnormal cloud, no police and one idiot rolling in the road laughing.
Chances are the sirens came from the radio slightly to soft for normal sounds just right to sound a distant siren.

The moral of the story teaches us hot box other peoples cars in roads as thy probably wont run, giving a distinct advantage of a head start from the cuffs.

P.S all you overseas people wish you can do that and not see cops hahaha!!:hump:
 
doc111

doc111

Well-Known Member
.................or if you keep registering on grow forums under new aliases after being repeatedly banned (or maybe just mentally ill).:eyesmoke:
 
thatguy830

thatguy830

Member
when you open a pepsi can(knowing youre going to smoke and need because of cottonmouth)
leave, smoke a bowl.
then open another one forgetting about the other to cure the horrible cottonmouth
 
doc111

doc111

Well-Known Member
patlpp said:
when you post 12 times a day average for a full year.............
Click to expand...
...................when you blame others for something that is utterly and completetly not their fault.:joint:

Maybe this one should be "You know you're a crackhead when...........":roll:
 
patlpp

patlpp

New Member
When you self-appoint a nickname reserved for real men given to them as a symbol of respect.
 
T

Translucent Explorer

Active Member
When you think you have something smart to say to someone you don't know and cant say things to face to face.
Real men don't need a computer, real men don't hide away in chat rooms like little boys, real men are everything your not.
Real men also have basic contextual skills that allow for interpretation of words that may be related to create a significant meaning that may be obscured from the reader.
FINALLY!
Real men come to roll it up to converse in a shared interest to promote a common cause and right, not act like a little boy and prove the extent of immaturity.

So please could all the real men and ladies share story's as intended and could the children go play.
 
mmsicis

mmsicis

Active Member
when going shopping, u think what to buy only when u are at shop, usually its chips, beer or some kind of munchies.
 
The Potologist

The Potologist

Active Member
This just happened to me very recently and I thought I would share my tale to RIU :

BTW, althought this is comical, its also highly annoying, now that my wife has decided to do it from time to time just to fuck with me, but anyways......

I get up in the middle of watching a movie to grab something out of the fridge, most likely munchies or a drink, sit back down.....go to change the channel on the boob toob and.....WHERE IN THE FUCK DID I PUT THAT COCK SUCKING FUCKING REMOTE!!!

The next morning, I awoke to my adoring wife reminding me that the remote does not go in the fridge :) FIRE IN DA HOLE!!
 
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