$50 to the person that gets drifter to munch a dirty diaper.
Couple points for consideration...
Water treatment plants do not take out all the chemcials in the water before it outfalls to streams, ponds, and surface waters. So yeah, like highsided said, that is why we have transvestite fish and all kinds of nasty unnatural shit because of prescription drugs getting flushed and women on the pill using the restroom.
Pouring your nutes on the lawn is not going to create a salt problem. The rain will flush the salts out of the topsoil layer. The only problem is that if you dump your nutes in the summer, that patch of lawn is going to grow gangbusters and be much greener than the rest of the lawn. (But you could put them in a spray bottle, drive to drifters house and spray "cock sucker" on his lawn at night. Then despite his best efforts, his lawn will have a big green cock sucker stamp on it that grows twice as fast as the rest of the lawn. The gag is actually better with time release fertilizer, but you get the jist.
Lastly, your nutes will not make it into the ground water table unless you have a really close groundwater table or you live next to a stream. If you ahve a basement then your safe. The majority of nutrients are actually not that mobile in the soil meaning that rain or watering will not actually cause the nutrients to move through the soil column. Nitrogen is the most mobile of the elements but again, that nitrogen is going to filter down a foot or so and then be fixed by denitrifying bacteria in the soil. Any chemical can and will readily run off even the slightest slopes if the ground is saturated so if you have surface waters downslope from your house then it may be best to dispose when its dry.