I'm one of those lucky people.
I'm the guy with the personality that just says please kick my ass (to alpha males, jocks, military guys, those types). I'm 6'2 270pds. A big dude, but I carry it well so I really look like 240-250. So as soon as step into a bar/party, people just want to kick my ass! I don't fucking understand it.
I've been in so many inexplicable fights...
Fuckin, just minding my own business and then someone looks at me and sees weakness; probably because I'm fat, and they start fucking with me. We'll I can dish it with the best of them, so eventually they get really pissed....BAM *fists swinging.
Lol, seriously, I can't explain it! I just know that I was picked on a lot growing up and one day I was like "fuck that." And since then I don't let anyone mess with me.
I may have let the pendulum swing way too far tho.
One time I was at a party minding my own business, chillin in the kitchen, as close to the alcohol as possible. This chick walks in. Bleach blond, tall, big fake tits, belly button ring, tramp stamp, black finger nails, sideways Tapout hat...she was a stereotypical mess. And for some reason she got me to shadow box her. All of a sudden, shes hitting me with close fists. I block most of them, but I'm gettin mad...but I still don't want to hit her lol
So just give the old faint to the stomach and hook to the head. It's equal waving hello with your right hand and then hitting with your left, like the old ali move but different lol. she was god damn drunk, she basically put both her hands down to protect her stomach and stuck her straight out, like derrrrrr
And I SLAPPED the shit out of her lmfao.
To me it was fucking hilarious but for some reason she wasn't laughing. She just started screaming like 'OH MY GOD OH MY GO!!' and here comes her boyfriend and hes coming around the corner, winding up a shot.
BOOOOOOM!!
I go flying into the sink and my nose starts running like a faucet. There's blood all over the bar and in people's left-over beers. The room smells like cigarettes, booze and pennies.
I put my hand on a bottle in the sink but before I could turn around the crowd was on us. He's lawing like a mad man trying to get at me. He's blinded by rage. I guess I was so drunk that no one thought I stood a chance and fortunately, they put me behind the wheel of a car.
So I drove the the Chevron and puked in the desert parking lot.
Good times.