And you should be. Is there any possible way that you could move to an area where medical use is allowed?? I know that the laws vary from stste to state , unlike here ,where its all across the country. .Peace:

-begining of rambling-
Yes I suppose I could move, mentally, though my support system is here, my grown sons that watch out for me are here the 78 year old aunt and greatgrand son that mom left behind need me here to help them, I need them, they are my family my friends.
I live in a small rural area isolated from city life, I already know I'd not do well in a city because I lived in them many years when I could work. I have a thick southern ignorant sounding accent lol, do I want to deal with that all over again? it takes about 10 years to beat out a bad accent. I'm a hillbillie, And health wise I don't do good under 2,000 ft elevation.
-more rambling-
I could move physically, will I survive mentally? alone? ... don't know.
I want to move for health and saftey, yet in my heart this will always be my home.
Either way I need to be here until my youngest finishes college and gets on his feet. I won't leave him behind.
I've moved many times in my life and enjoyed every bit of it, so I don't know if it is the pain that is talking, but this time the thought of it is making me feel like a big chicken... maybe I'm just tired right now, or maybe it would be the first time moving without my son's now that they are grown, I don't think I can leave them behind and move across the nation. I'm going to have to sleep on this.
-end of rambling-