Friends that tell stories that are COMPLETELY a LIE!

[JamCE]

Curious if anyone has ever crossed paths with someone who was a friend or someone you know well enough that would tell stories that had no truth to them, but just told them to fit in or for whatever the fuck reason people justify lying about themselves to make them sound smarter, faster, stronger, etc.

These stories I see classified into either:

1.) Stories SO unrealistic they should be institutionalized
2.) The Stories that have a tendency to defy physics and provide hours of laughter

So RIU,

What is the craziest story you have ever heard that either sounded fake and unrealistic or purely was a bold face lie?

We can even judge the craziest story if enough of you have them??

 

[JamCE]

I will start it off...

I met a guy in the military back in 2005 who would tell stories so embellished that it was pathetic at times, but quite funny after you got a buzz going.

One in particular was when he was in a four wheeler off-road race and wrecked it crashing into a tree and he received 8 broken ribs, broken jaw, broken leg, and minor internal bleeding. He was 16yrs old when this happened....he shared that not only 6 weeks later did he win on the same track in a different four wheeler, but he wrestled in the high school state championship and "shooted" a guy in only 8 seconds.

Either this guy heals four times as fast as a normal human with broken limbs and after all of what happened had no fear at the age of 16 to not just win the race, but later that week wrestled someone and break The Olympic world record for fastest point in a match.

SUCH UTTER BULLSHIT! But looking back it makes me laugh how we just let this guy get away with telling these stories for our personal entertainment!

 

[donutpunched]

One of my employees always talks about when he was with the "AGENCY" And all sorts of random shit... I play along....Came in the other day and told me that he may need a month off of work since "THEY" Contacted home and he may have to go on a mission... Fuck.... One time he was looking at some picture on my work computer and told me if the agency needed to contact him they would put a flag on the top of the mountain in the picture... this shit is an everyday occurance...... I never say shit because at one point in my life I did Vocational Rehab training and taught people how to cook so they could get jobs in the cooking industry.... one of the guys kept telling me he was in the MOB and he was hiding out... I wished him good luck and thought it was bullshit until the FBI showed up and took his ass away... so.. you never know.....

 

[timeismoney1]

I tend to stay away from them. Usually when i meet up with them its at a party or small gathering with buddies. And their usualy pill popers that abuse them and smack. Lie so much but to them its complete truth. I just said yup yup yup and talk to someone else

 

[......]

I know a lot of people like that.I seen someone the other day and he was telling me how he got locked up and he straight up paid the 3k bail out his pocket.I ended up seeing his grandma at the store and shes going on and on about how her dumbass grandson got booked and she had to bail him out lol,asking me if she can burrow money and shit cause shes flat broke now.
I hate people who lie about stupid shit.

 

[JamCE]

Of course your right it can be brutal at times when these friends lie about something that somehow effects you in a negative way, but I have to laugh when randomly meeting people with fantasy stories...I wish I had the balls to fucking tell people I am in "the AGENCY"...haha... that guy has to be real fun to work with!

 

[thump easy]

the chick told me she was pregnant n i was wereing a condom

 

[jdillinger]

A friend of mine no longer, big beef. But he used to have this story where he was stoned with friends, like they were having a bbq, and this chicken just came up to them... (Mind you I live in Australia, not rural australia). Then they plucked it killed it and ate it. FUCKING FUNNT KENT. FUNNY THING WAS I WAS FUCKEN THERE. DIDNT FUCKING HAPPEN. ITS A FUCKEN FUNNY STORY, I just can't tell it propery when not stoned.

 

[kekapena]

I wonder if any of the stories posted on this thread, are in fact, lies of stories? Lol.

This dude from L.A. told me once that he was driving Hell of close to this other dudes bumper.
So dude jumped out, an started throwing Jack N' the Box taco sauce on his windshield.
So naturally, being a former "cage" fighter (which is a totally different story & LIE) he got out of his truck & went after the dude.
Now, you would think this dude had balls, considering he jumped out his car first & even went as far as throwing sauce on someones truck.
...But no, he was a pussy apparently, because he started running away.
This dude claims he chased him around the dudes car 6 times (he knows the precise amount) before catching him.
He then kicks the dude in the gut, an as the dude crunches over he slaps him in the face.
THEN he goes on to power-bomb the dude on top of his truck hood.

You would think it's over... but it's not.

Then the dude manages to get off the hood & run down an alley (which just so happens to be nearby).
Again, he begins to chase the dude he just kicked, slapped, & power-bombed.
...& again, he catches him.
This time, he bench-presses the dude over his head & into a nearby dumpster.
Finally, he walks away as his job is finished.

BUT of course, there's more.
He then turns around to make sure the job is "done" & he claims to have seen the dude poke his head out of the dumpster.
Not only does he poke his head up, but he has a cracked eggshell on his forehead, lmao WTF?
...& of course, as he see's him he ducks back into the dumpster to evade being beat the fuck out of again.

Likely, this story didn't happen, but I could be wrong.
Is this the type of story that you would consider complete an utter B.S. without having to even know the dude in question?
Lol.
You don't know how many times I've told this story to people & we just laugh.

 

[darkdestruction420]

this isnt a long one but i had a coworker who drank very very very rarely as well frequently tell me how he finished off 3 of the big bottles of jack daniels and a 12 pack of beer in an hour and didnt feel a thing.my response- yeah, cuz you would of went unconscious from alcohol poisoning and then most likely died. his response- nope, i stayed up the whole night never felt a thing and was actually the one who drove everyone else home. my response- thats a bunch of bullshit, how fucking dumb do you think i am? that NEVER EVER actually happened and its obvious to everyone but you. (sure my final response might seem a bit over the top but he brought that story up at least once a day and i got sick of it.)

 

[JamCE]

this isnt a long one but i had a coworker who drank very very very rarely as well frequently tell me how he finished off 3 of the big bottles of jack daniels and a 12 pack of beer in an hour and didnt feel a thing.my response- yeah, cuz you would of went unconscious from alcohol poisoning and then most likely died. his response- nope, i stayed up the whole night never felt a thing and was actually the one who drove everyone else home. my response- thats a bunch of bullshit, how fucking dumb do you think i am? that NEVER EVER actually happened and its obvious to everyone but you. (sure my final response might seem a bit over the top but he brought that story up at least once a day and i got sick of it.)

HAHA, That's awesome!

 

[thump easy]

sometime theese mother fuckers are called (TWEEKERS)gacka lackers... lie about the truth.... to help them get through the day..

 

[GreatwhiteNorth]

I met a guy in the military back in 2005 who would tell stories so embellished that it was pathetic

I met a guy like that once.

I have. and fucking proud of it my friend. Not sure on how many I killed.. but I know its quite a few.

The reason I'm proud of it, is because if I wouldn't have killed them, they would have killed me or taken me as a POW... and I wasn't about to let that happen.

Fucking terrorists..


I remember one shot in particular. I was hiding behind a brick wall.. and I couldn't advance forward because the terrorist had a sniper up on a rooftop taking shots at me.. I watched him through my scope and realized that he's going to run out of ammunition and eventually have to reload.. and sure enough, as soon as he took his last shot before having to reload, I lined up my scope.. put the cross-hairs right onto the other snipers left eye.. and shot. Fucking rag-head didn't even know what hit em'... lol.

I used the .50cal 50BMG (12.7x99mm) or 12.7x108mm. Effective range of such rifles is up to 1500 meters and above, depending on size of target and quality of the ammunition.

I remember during sniper school.. our instructor showed us these 'tracer' rounds. They're called 'tracers' because when you fire the weapon.. the bullet actually leaves a trail.. where you can actually tell where the shot went. Tracer rounds are bad to the bone too.. can do some major damage.. even to heavy armored vehicles/people.

They've also got rounds that once they hit the target.. they explode. They explode with the force of about one single hand-grenade.. those were very deadly rounds if I may add.

I have to say though.. the #1 thing that scared me the most back then... was I.E.D. bombs. We didn't really have the technology back then, that we have now. I mean shit, now.. the military has robot soldiers. Yes, robots!! These things can detect when they are being fired upon.. and they immediately track where the bullet came from.. calculate the position of the enemy person/persons shooting at it.. and then can either be setup to fire the M14-Carbine (not yet released for U.S. military use.. but will soon replace the all too familiar M16) or it can be setup prior to the mission.. to fire rocket-propelled grenades.

I like the way the military is going.. I like the idea of not using people for certain missions. I eventually think, which it may not be in my lifetime.. but eventually the U.S. Military will replace all human soldiers.. with robots and other intelligent machines.. that will go and fight the war for us. Trust me, its coming.. just a matter of time.

Anyhow, I hope killing terrorists counts?

peace.

 

[CR500ROOST]

I have a friend that is a compulsive liar.He always has a story that would top yours LOL.Dude this Guy comes up with some fucken weird lies for no reason.It so random.All of my friends give each other this look and smirk at each others cause we know it BS.

 

[Beansly]

I wonder if any of the stories posted on this thread, are in fact, lies of stories? Lol.

This dude from L.A. told me once that he was driving Hell of close to this other dudes bumper.
So dude jumped out, an started throwing Jack N' the Box taco sauce on his windshield.
So naturally, being a former "cage" fighter (which is a totally different story & LIE) he got out of his truck & went after the dude.
Now, you would think this dude had balls, considering he jumped out his car first & even went as far as throwing sauce on someones truck.
...But no, he was a pussy apparently, because he started running away.
This dude claims he chased him around the dudes car 6 times (he knows the precise amount) before catching him.
He then kicks the dude in the gut, an as the dude crunches over he slaps him in the face.
THEN he goes on to power-bomb the dude on top of his truck hood.

You would think it's over... but it's not.

Then the dude manages to get off the hood & run down an alley (which just so happens to be nearby).
Again, he begins to chase the dude he just kicked, slapped, & power-bombed.
...& again, he catches him.
This time, he bench-presses the dude over his head & into a nearby dumpster.
Finally, he walks away as his job is finished.

BUT of course, there's more.
He then turns around to make sure the job is "done" & he claims to have seen the dude poke his head out of the dumpster.
Not only does he poke his head up, but he has a cracked eggshell on his forehead, lmao WTF?
...& of course, as he see's him he ducks back into the dumpster to evade being beat the fuck out of again.

Likely, this story didn't happen, but I could be wrong.
Is this the type of story that you would consider complete an utter B.S. without having to even know the dude in question?
Lol.
You don't know how many times I've told this story to people & we just laugh.

It sounds ike he started telling the story one day and it probably was making people laugh like you said, and he thought he was on a roll so he keeps adding to the lie to jeep the laughs going....you know what I mean?

AND THEEEEENN... he threw hot sauce at me...
AND THEEEENNN... he got off the hood and ran...
AND THEEEENNN... there was an eggshell on his face...

Great story. had me rollin lol.

 

[xtcxlocstax]

Kekapen sounds like your friend is related to undertaker and kane lol what a story

 

[mrmoe]

I have a friend who this summer while showing me his patch stated he started everything from seed (they were amazing plants) anyway after harvest he was showing off the root ball and you could see where it had been repotted 2 times, I dont say anything because I know the truth and thats all that matters to me.

 

[domino7]

I have known too many of these people over the years. One guy that really stood out, I was in the service with. He told everyone that he was from Columbia, and his parents still lived there, growing weed. It didn't seem to bother him at all, that I went home with him several times, and knew that his parents lived in rural Michigan, and were totaly against smoking pot. Of course, he made up cover stories to explain that too. No matter how absurd his cover stories got, he could tell them like it was gospel. His parents were sitting on 100s of pounds of columbian gold, but he had to buy dirtweed from me to maintain their cover. His bs really helped me pass the days though.

 

[Hepheastus420]

Apparently, my friend shot a buck that fell into a river upon impact.... The deer floated down the river.... he lost the deer in the river.... on the way back to his truck he found the deer further down the river along the side.... but get this.. A "big ass" fish was caught on it's antlers....bull shit lol.


Oh and he also owned the first H.E.B...so he says.

 

[Carne Seca]

Usually habitual liars are kleptomaniacs. I try not to have people like this in my life. I don't have to worry about my personal belongings that way. You can never trust a liar.