OK - No ER but I did almost kill myself today!
The cable guy came out to fix my cable and I wanted to run a line to a bedroom. This required a 40 foot attic visit with a 30 foot crawl. He said he couldn't do it. So I got wrapped up in jeans and long sleeve shirt. Put on my knee pads and mask and went for it. I had been blowing air conditioned air in with a big fan to make it nice up there for him.
The space is big when you first enter and then it is a foot high for 30 feet. After 15 feet of the crawl, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I was breathing as hard as I could and I still wasn't getting enough air. I couldn't turn around!
At this point I was wondering how they were going to get my body out of the attic. Then I starting thinking of ways to break through the ceiling to escape. 10 more feet to go until I get all the way to the spot where the cable comes out from below. 5 feet, I can't breathe and I am hoping that when I get to the other end there is a roof vent where I can get some air. I there isn't then I probably am going to need to break through the ceiling!
I reach the end of the tunnel and I can barely focus my eyes. I can't remember why I thought it was going to be OK. The last time I did this I was in my 30s and it almost killed me.
There was a vent! I stuck my head up in there and breathed the most wonderful cool fresh air I have ever inhaled. I stood there for at least five minutes breathing that air and trying to decide how I was going to get out.
That is when I heard the cable guy ask me if I was OK and I remembered why I was up there. I fed the end of the cable through the hole in the firewall to the other side of the attic where he must have been waiting this whole time. I kept feeding him more and more cable until I was sure it was never going to end - I was still a little fuzzy.
I went back to the vent and breathed the sweet fresh air and wondered if I would ever see the outside again. Now it was time to man up. I put my mask back on and lowered myself back to my chest and started the crawl back. It looked shorter going back but it was slower and harder. I was shaking and I didn't feel like I had anything left to give.
10 feet, 9 feet, 8 feet - my knee pad gets stuck and rips off of my leg - 7 feet, 6 feet - I can start to feel the cooler air from the fan - 5 feet, 4 feet, 3 feet - I am going to make it - 2 feet - I can't go any farther.
Will somebody come in now and carry me the rest of the way? No.
Come on you can do this. Every last fiber of my body pulled against gravity one more time and I was free of the tunnel! Now I only needed to get ten feet through an easy area and hop down through the access hatch. Except at this point my feet, arms, legs and brain were not under my control. I banged around forcing myself stumble in the direction of the opening. I reached it and my foot gets tangled in a cord and now I am on my but with my tangled foot stuck under me. I screamed "fuck me" with all of my might - it just made a muffled fart from under my mask. I fell to the side to release my foot from my body but the cord would not let go. I twisted and turned until I could see the cord and it was barely over the toe of my shoe. It required three tries to get my foot free. I shakily climbed/fell down the ladder and stumbled outside.
It was wonderful to feel the breeze and see the sky. I was drenched in sweat and gasping for air. My wife asked me if I was OK and then realized I wasn't. She ran inside and got me the best glass of water I ever remember drinking.
We went out and had steak and martinis for dinner to celebrate my survival.
I am never fucking going up in that attic again! EVER!
Cheers,
Mo
