you can't tell the sex from seed theirs a 50 50 chance it will be male or female depending on stress it can turn hermie witch means it will polinate itself by growing male sacks and female flowers because your useing outside yard dirt good chance the soil was bad for them they need a good soil you can find many answers in the new growing section sounds like its not getting the stuff it needs light proper soil water and neutriants its an easy plant to grow we all have are issues but when you start it in the right way they florish if the plant is that bad off i would say its not worth the risk in continueing to grow it my plants started as seeds and if you look at the dates you can see they are quite large for their age growth should be fast it can take awhile before a plant shows it sex i think around 5-8 weeks of life before it lets you know thats why people sometimes clone to find out the sex of a plant but if your doing this all outdoors your in another ball park