Jolijn
Well-Known Member
Maybe it's just the shit i'm smoking, but i was on my facebook and i realized i dont really know too many people that well. i have about 100 friends but probably 20 of those are old highschool "friends" i never talk to (people i knew in highschool but never really hung out with...they were the smart popular kids and i was the weird girl) and 50 are probably people i've met drinking/partying and also never talk to. about 10 are family. that leaves about 20 people, and about 15 of those are people i met through my current job and my last job. i dont talk to anyone from my last job. it was more of a polite friending.
what makes it worse is that my old highschool buddies're all doing much better than i am...graduated college, nice jobs, lots of friends, etc.
while i am a soon to be 23 year old girl with about 1.5 years of college, dropped out once then got back in...i usually hang out with my roomies. i work a shitty job in an expensive state, all that jazz.
i got to thinking if i died, my funeral would be a sad state of affairs. i honestly doubt more than 10 people would show up. i dont really feel like i'm making an impression on earth right now...like a waste really. i find it hard to make friends sober so i drink a lot and that makes it easier so now i feel like a lush. i can honestly say i do have a lot of fun when i'm drunk/high and i'm the life of the party, but most of it is in the moment...when i wake up the next morning i feel just as bad as before.
anyway, how about you guys? are you afraid of being forgotten? do you feel like people care what happens to you?
what makes it worse is that my old highschool buddies're all doing much better than i am...graduated college, nice jobs, lots of friends, etc.
while i am a soon to be 23 year old girl with about 1.5 years of college, dropped out once then got back in...i usually hang out with my roomies. i work a shitty job in an expensive state, all that jazz.
i got to thinking if i died, my funeral would be a sad state of affairs. i honestly doubt more than 10 people would show up. i dont really feel like i'm making an impression on earth right now...like a waste really. i find it hard to make friends sober so i drink a lot and that makes it easier so now i feel like a lush. i can honestly say i do have a lot of fun when i'm drunk/high and i'm the life of the party, but most of it is in the moment...when i wake up the next morning i feel just as bad as before.
anyway, how about you guys? are you afraid of being forgotten? do you feel like people care what happens to you?
