At a dead end

I have a script for an anti-depressant and participate in therapy. Been suffering from depression for 5 yrs (family history of depression on my father's side) and insomnia my entire life. The drugs and therapy have helped but there are times (a couple times a week) where I can do nothing but sob in my room. Prop 203 doesn't allow persons with depression to use cannabis. I live with and care for my grandparents so I cannot grow for myself. Either I go without or try to buy when I can (which isn't often). I'm at the point where I have been having suicidal thoughts. My doctor and family is aware of this. I just don't know what to do anymore.

My heart goes out too you. I have thought for several minutes on how to reply to your post. The only suggestions I can offer are 1. Educate your grandparents on the usefulness of cannabis for depression. This I am sure will be very difficult as they likely grew up in the days of the Harry Anslinger/reefer madness propaganda. However, they may be receptive to your growing 1 or 2 for personal use, if they come to understand your need for this medication. Or 2. Find someone that may be willing to house a small grow for you with a share of the harvest as payment. Too be honest, both of these suggestions are probably long shots. But, you obviously need help and should leave no stone unturned. Good Luck to you, Happy Holidays, and for what it's worth +rep for not giving in to your condition.

Hope your ok mate. Stay strong and positive!
I like bkbbudz idea if you have a friend who has his own house maybe you two could invest to do a small grow and split the harvest 50/50.
Happy holidays and +Rep too.

Peace!

nattybongo said:

Hope your ok mate. Stay strong and positive!
I like bkbbudz idea if you have a friend who has his own house maybe you two could invest to do a small grow and split the harvest 50/50.
Happy holidays and +Rep too.

Peace!

Click to expand...

Sheesh! If you like it so much...where is my 'like'? LOL! JK Happy Holidays!

Been there, I feel ur pain, Are you single ? I can not sleep, same shit, deal with bad pain and pain pills that fuck with my head.Only thing that kept me from blowing my brains out is the dogs, zSounds like you need to get a pup so you have someone to pass the time with and a snuggle buddy. Christmas is very hard for me because of family drama and ass holes. Lot of us do not sleep at night if you ever need someone to chat with, hope things get better for ya........OhMy

dogs are awesome. strange / depressing end of yr ova here too. lots of big changes n family drama n lost friends.

RaymondStone said:

I have a script for an anti-depressant and participate in therapy. Been suffering from depression for 5 yrs (family history of depression on my father's side) and insomnia my entire life. The drugs and therapy have helped but there are times (a couple times a week) where I can do nothing but sob in my room. Prop 203 doesn't allow persons with depression to use cannabis. I live with and care for my grandparents so I cannot grow for myself. Either I go without or try to buy when I can (which isn't often). I'm at the point where I have been having suicidal thoughts. My doctor and family is aware of this. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Click to expand...

Get a prescription and do your homework. Try switching anti depressents to something like Effexor XR 75MG capsules the side effects are nasuea, go to a compassionate doctor and show him your prescription tell him you love the meds but the side effect "nausea" is in the range from "heavy to extreme" and to counter the extreme nausea you use cannabis. Believe me on this.

If weed is the way for you man ( I know what your going threw) then here is what I would do. Go to cali pay a mmj dr there to give you a script. You cant get weed from clubs here like that but P2P is still legal. Just mt 2 centz

i am sorry for your situation and know what you are going through. while cannabis may be able to alleviate some of your pain, it is not a miracle medicine that will change your life. it will help but dont think of it as the only path to your salvation. i would suggest getting healthy. start eating right and exercising on a regular basis. also brush your teeth and floss regularly. a dog would be a great idea. i know my little pooch brings me unconditional love which always cheers me up. the exercise will be the best thing for you. when ever things may get too stressful or overwhelming to me i like to go on hikes in the desert and clear my mind. you should look into what BEAV said above. i hope you are having a good day

RaymondStone said:

I have a script for an anti-depressant and participate in therapy. Been suffering from depression for 5 yrs (family history of depression on my father's side) and insomnia my entire life. The drugs and therapy have helped but there are times (a couple times a week) where I can do nothing but sob in my room. Prop 203 doesn't allow persons with depression to use cannabis. I live with and care for my grandparents so I cannot grow for myself. Either I go without or try to buy when I can (which isn't often). I'm at the point where I have been having suicidal thoughts. My doctor and family is aware of this. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Click to expand...

First if you are serious.... Suicide is NEVER the solution MAN!!! Life is good alive!!!

http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/john8.html#44John 8:44
says that Satan is a "Murderer” and the “father of lies.” The feelings of despair that lead to suicide are caused by some of his lies.

Smoke some trees!!!

I actually have an apt. with my doctor to talk about my meds today. Been taking Pristiq 100mg and it does help but there are times where I just have to go to my room and cry. The marijuana just snaps me back from the brink and lets me be myself. I appreciate the kind posts. The 50/50 grow sounds like a good idea. A puppy would be nice but until I get a job just don't feel like I could properly feed and take 'em to the vet if need be. Was let go from 2 jobs this year and living off my savings.

And to clarify, I have no desire to kill myself. However the thoughts do crop up on me from time to time. Just knowing the pain my death would cause others usually helps the pain subside and the feelings pass.

Best of luck to you my friend. You obviously have maintained a good sense of humor...Love that avatar! LOL!

RaymondStone said:

I have a script for an anti-depressant and participate in therapy. Been suffering from depression for 5 yrs (family history of depression on my father's side) and insomnia my entire life. The drugs and therapy have helped but there are times (a couple times a week) where I can do nothing but sob in my room. Prop 203 doesn't allow persons with depression to use cannabis. I live with and care for my grandparents so I cannot grow for myself. Either I go without or try to buy when I can (which isn't often). I'm at the point where I have been having suicidal thoughts. My doctor and family is aware of this. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Click to expand...

Your family is aware if your problem but won't let you grow? or you won't grow in-case they get into trouble for it?

They wouldn't allow me to grow in their home. After talking to my doctor he referred me to a place called The Healing Center. His network won't entertain the idea of giving mmj referrals, however he thinks it would be beneficial. The fact that I experience physical aches and pain that manifest from my depression may qualify me for a card so he wanted me to talk to the physicians there. When I get up in the morning it feels like I got the crap knocked out of me.

RaymondStone said:

They wouldn't allow me to grow in their home. After talking to my doctor he referred me to a place called The Healing Center. His network won't entertain the idea of giving mmj referrals, however he thinks it would be beneficial. The fact that I experience physical aches and pain that manifest from my depression may qualify me for a card so he wanted me to talk to the physicians there. When I get up in the morning it feels like I got the crap knocked out of me.

Click to expand...

Good luck.

RaymondStone said:

They wouldn't allow me to grow in their home. After talking to my doctor he referred me to a place called The Healing Center. His network won't entertain the idea of giving mmj referrals, however he thinks it would be beneficial. The fact that I experience physical aches and pain that manifest from my depression may qualify me for a card so he wanted me to talk to the physicians there. When I get up in the morning it feels like I got the crap knocked out of me.

Click to expand...

it seems like your doctor wnts the best for you and wants you to be in control of your care. this is a very good thing and the fact that he refered you to a place where you can pursue your med card is a good sign. it is too bad that he is bound by his insurance company abd most likely your mmj visit will not be covered by insurance so be prepared to pay out of pocket. the whole process, mmj doc evaluation, and registration with dhs will cost a minimum of 150 for the reg (75 if you are on food stamps) the doc evaluation will vary. i took my GF to one and the eval was 150. i am sure you can find cheaper. just request your med records for the past year and bring them with you. so long as your chronic pain is documented for a year you will qualify. good luck if you need any more help you know where we are. hope your having a good day

irieie said:

it seems like your doctor wnts the best for you and wants you to be in control of your care. this is a very good thing and the fact that he refered you to a place where you can pursue your med card is a good sign. it is too bad that he is bound by his insurance company abd most likely your mmj visit will not be covered by insurance so be prepared to pay out of pocket. the whole process, mmj doc evaluation, and registration with dhs will cost a minimum of 150 for the reg (75 if you are on food stamps) the doc evaluation will vary. i took my GF to one and the eval was 150. i am sure you can find cheaper. just request your med records for the past year and bring them with you. so long as your chronic pain is documented for a year you will qualify. good luck if you need any more help you know where we are. hope your having a good day

Click to expand...

Mine was a 120 and then the AZ state fee and I been on Anti Depressants for about 6 years.

lots of suggestions in this thread but no body mentioned getting a caregiver. I understand depression well and have been on Effexor for probably about 8 years. This is a very tough time of the year for many people. it seems that in the hospital the number of attempted suicides peaks around Christmas. I have been to the that point where i just want to end it all, however what all ways stopped me was the thought of the pain I would bring to my family and friends.

Marijuana is a great medication for depression. i have had depression since i was in high school but never needed meds until I stopped smoking weed due to concerns about future employment, when i went into nursing school. the passing of this law has been great for me and has allowed me to return to a more effective treatment plan. My doctor is working on getting me off the effexor and i'm now on 37mg instead of the 150mg i was on. the only side effects I had on effexor was when i missed a few doses I would get an electrical sensation pulsing along the surface of my brain. is was like lightning was sparking and arching across my head. take this med with caution because many people are unable to completely stop the med after starting it.

If you get your med card send me a pm I have been working on selecting strains that provide some up feeling to them without inducing anxiety attacks.

I was just wondering how much the whole process would be, good to know ahead of time. Just started taking Seroquil (spelling?) and just about had to go to the hospital. Irregular heartbeat, slowed breathing, difficulty standing/walking. After vomiting it up I passed out for 12 hrs. Gonna have to save some pennies before talking to a doc out of network.
Just got back from camping and feeling a bit better 'bout things. Also going to the Insight Bowl tomorrow, go Hawkeyes!

$300 total dr and state. might find cheaper But if you need any help with the app online don't pay them to do it . I'm sure myself or another could walk you threw it for free. Just pm me