Let me start my saying pot has always been and always will be a love of mine, as far as love material things go, it will probably be top 10 of all because all the memories attached.
On December 12th 2008 (I saved the hospital band) I checked myself into the emergency room, having what I believed to be a heart attack (later I found out it was a panic attack) I was diagnosed with panic disorder and slightly misdiagnosed with high blood pressure, you see I had high BP on the readings but its because i was freaking out,and doctors and shit like that freak me out to begin with, since im like 6'5.5" 390 pounds my doctor thought it was weight related and while my weight is something im working on and even though admittedly its insanely unhealthy its caused me no Ill effects as of now nor did it effect my blood pressure, nonetheless I was put on medication (despite being 23 years old), at that point I quit everything I was doing at the time, Cigarettes (which I now smoke while I drink but haven't bought a pack in 2 years), Alcohol (which I recently started enjoying again.), and most importantly Marijuana, something that at the time I was smoking 3-8 *Joints, bowls, or blunts* 2-4 grams of a day (and that doesn't count smoking with friends or co-workers) and I was a sad panda, I got used to life without it, and after the first few weeks wanted none of those things anymore or at least talked myself into not wanting them fearing they woulddisagree with my heart meds and kill me (im a hypochondriac) recently from research and a few doctors opinions on mixing cozaar (the blood pressure drug) and weed, or alcohol i've realized this is not fact and was cleared to partake in my favorite past time again.
But today (yesterday now as I type this) july 4th I smoked for the first time in about 560 days, and did it all wrong, granted I didn't have a horrible time.
My mistakes you ask?
1. I was drunk (or buzzing hard) I also just started drinking again, and after shot gunning 3 beers I was pretty tipsy mixing the weed and beer seemed to intensify its effects (as it often did in my younger years)
2. I was in an unventilated, hot, house, some stoners love being in a smoke filled room, I do not and never have, even when I was at my peak of smoking.
3. I just might have over done it (I took 5 giant double puffs off a 1.5 gram blunt.) granted it was not QUALITY weed by any standards (id say low to mid grade regular weed, not dirt but about 5-10 seeds in the 1.5 gram bag) after being on the bench 18 months and knowing how pot has the potential to effect you, you should wade in the shallows at first, but being me I didn't listen to my own advice and cannonballed into the deep end.
4. Maybe I just wasn't mentally ready.
Nonetheless I noticed my pulse (because I was checking with the stop watch on my phone the whole time LOL) It hit like 120 BPM at its highest which really isn't anyhting close to deadly a lot of people are at that speed while walking around but when I was stoned it felt like it was 600 BPM's.
I then left the room to have some alone time and it really wasn't nearly as bad (though my pulse related paranoia lasted a good 80 percent of the high it waned down from an obsession to an inconvenience) in fact at this point of my high it was A LOT like my first time ever smoking, mild trails (not LSD style trails but still visible trails coming, on and off at the peak of my high), some stop and go's (or clicks in time, you may or may not know what I mean but its sort of like you are really high and you hear everything around you but nothing is moving for like a second or 2 at the longest but its really noticeable because you are mad blazed then you snap out of it and everything is like two steps ahead of what it was before the stop and go.), and my humor kicked in I was laughing at the ridiculousness of my own paranoia (OMG THREE BEERS AND A THIRD OF A BLUNT IM ABOUT TO DIE! LOL and my inability to drink water without spilling it on me every other sip had me cracking up.) not to mention aside from one weird moment when my friends girlfriend asked me of i wanted a pork roll sandwich and I answered with an awkward "NO FOOD!" I became more sociable and happy.
I dont know if im back for good, and I dont know why I posted this story, maybe for some come back advice from someone that faced a similar situation, maybe from boredom at 5 AM but, im torn between the fear of paranoia and the fact I really enjoy the feeling of being stoned, I know if I just start smoking regularly again the paranoia will subside but I dont know how long that will take.
Well thanks for reading, like I said if you have any advice for someone just getting into smoking again, or funny paranoia stories post them in here.
On December 12th 2008 (I saved the hospital band) I checked myself into the emergency room, having what I believed to be a heart attack (later I found out it was a panic attack) I was diagnosed with panic disorder and slightly misdiagnosed with high blood pressure, you see I had high BP on the readings but its because i was freaking out,and doctors and shit like that freak me out to begin with, since im like 6'5.5" 390 pounds my doctor thought it was weight related and while my weight is something im working on and even though admittedly its insanely unhealthy its caused me no Ill effects as of now nor did it effect my blood pressure, nonetheless I was put on medication (despite being 23 years old), at that point I quit everything I was doing at the time, Cigarettes (which I now smoke while I drink but haven't bought a pack in 2 years), Alcohol (which I recently started enjoying again.), and most importantly Marijuana, something that at the time I was smoking 3-8 *Joints, bowls, or blunts* 2-4 grams of a day (and that doesn't count smoking with friends or co-workers) and I was a sad panda, I got used to life without it, and after the first few weeks wanted none of those things anymore or at least talked myself into not wanting them fearing they woulddisagree with my heart meds and kill me (im a hypochondriac) recently from research and a few doctors opinions on mixing cozaar (the blood pressure drug) and weed, or alcohol i've realized this is not fact and was cleared to partake in my favorite past time again.
But today (yesterday now as I type this) july 4th I smoked for the first time in about 560 days, and did it all wrong, granted I didn't have a horrible time.
My mistakes you ask?
1. I was drunk (or buzzing hard) I also just started drinking again, and after shot gunning 3 beers I was pretty tipsy mixing the weed and beer seemed to intensify its effects (as it often did in my younger years)
2. I was in an unventilated, hot, house, some stoners love being in a smoke filled room, I do not and never have, even when I was at my peak of smoking.
3. I just might have over done it (I took 5 giant double puffs off a 1.5 gram blunt.) granted it was not QUALITY weed by any standards (id say low to mid grade regular weed, not dirt but about 5-10 seeds in the 1.5 gram bag) after being on the bench 18 months and knowing how pot has the potential to effect you, you should wade in the shallows at first, but being me I didn't listen to my own advice and cannonballed into the deep end.
4. Maybe I just wasn't mentally ready.
Nonetheless I noticed my pulse (because I was checking with the stop watch on my phone the whole time LOL) It hit like 120 BPM at its highest which really isn't anyhting close to deadly a lot of people are at that speed while walking around but when I was stoned it felt like it was 600 BPM's.
I then left the room to have some alone time and it really wasn't nearly as bad (though my pulse related paranoia lasted a good 80 percent of the high it waned down from an obsession to an inconvenience) in fact at this point of my high it was A LOT like my first time ever smoking, mild trails (not LSD style trails but still visible trails coming, on and off at the peak of my high), some stop and go's (or clicks in time, you may or may not know what I mean but its sort of like you are really high and you hear everything around you but nothing is moving for like a second or 2 at the longest but its really noticeable because you are mad blazed then you snap out of it and everything is like two steps ahead of what it was before the stop and go.), and my humor kicked in I was laughing at the ridiculousness of my own paranoia (OMG THREE BEERS AND A THIRD OF A BLUNT IM ABOUT TO DIE! LOL and my inability to drink water without spilling it on me every other sip had me cracking up.) not to mention aside from one weird moment when my friends girlfriend asked me of i wanted a pork roll sandwich and I answered with an awkward "NO FOOD!" I became more sociable and happy.
I dont know if im back for good, and I dont know why I posted this story, maybe for some come back advice from someone that faced a similar situation, maybe from boredom at 5 AM but, im torn between the fear of paranoia and the fact I really enjoy the feeling of being stoned, I know if I just start smoking regularly again the paranoia will subside but I dont know how long that will take.
Well thanks for reading, like I said if you have any advice for someone just getting into smoking again, or funny paranoia stories post them in here.