Father just passed, not sure what to do.

Sup y'all. I don't really know if this is the right forum for this, or not, but I'm just looking for tips from people who have dealt with this. My father had passed away quite unexpectedly in our home last night. He was 55 years old and we haven't heard from the coroner yet but I expect it had something to do with medications. I hope not though. Anyway, I am still in heavy shock and feel weird because I haven't gotten extremely upset yet.
I have had to take care of all the heart wrenching calls to family and friends though. I guess I haven't had time to think about it I suppose. For the last three or four years things have been rough between us, but we have come together alright in the last 2 months or so. Now he's gone though, and I feel like we've missed alot. I just don't believe it still.
If anyone has gone through this, I'd like to hear some input. I'm going to be in charge of setting most of the shit up, I'm 21 and never had to deal with this stuff. I don't know where to begin. Thanks all. ------BSG

Shit bro im very sorry for that bad news! I have not delt with that nor do i want to.

Best of vibes to you and your family on the way from me

BeachsideGreen said:

Sup y'all. I don't really know if this is the right forum for this, or not, but I'm just looking for tips from people who have dealt with this. My father had passed away quite unexpectedly in our home last night. He was 55 years old and we haven't heard from the coroner yet but I expect it had something to do with medications. I hope not though. Anyway, I am still in heavy shock and feel weird because I haven't gotten extremely upset yet.
I have had to take care of all the heart wrenching calls to family and friends though. I guess I haven't had time to think about it I suppose. For the last three or four years things have been rough between us, but we have come together alright in the last 2 months or so. Now he's gone though, and I feel like we've missed alot. I just don't believe it still.
If anyone has gone through this, I'd like to hear some input. I'm going to be in charge of setting most of the shit up, I'm 21 and never had to deal with this stuff. I don't know where to begin. Thanks all. ------BSG

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People are made to believe that you "have to" feel extreme sadness and what not when a loved one passes. Some of us take it better emotional than others, some of us take a while for it to sink in. Hope it helps

Once you get through the shock and all of the effort it is going to take to get things organized you might break down. Some people dont. Some people do it at different times.

The mortuary should be helpful about the arrangements. Put together a nice testimonial to your father to read at the funeral and otherwise follow their directions.

My mom passed away after an illness that put her in a medical/mental facility for a few years.

From this I learned that you do what you need to do and then usually break down afterwards.

Very sorry for your loss.

easy.. Grow two different strains that represent your father.. cross breed them and whala make anew name for it in his honor.

Thanks for you're replies. Rawbudz, I like you're idea alot. I will definitely pursue this in the future.

I happened to tell my mom that earlier tonight... I said I would cross White Widow (tho my dads not dead.. just divorced) x Lavender and name it after her

I am very sorry for your loss. I've always wondered how I would react when one of my parents passed. Sometimes I'm afraid that I won't mourn enough, or it won't phaze me at all. We all react differently and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Once you run out of related tasks and have a chance to sit down and relax, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks. That is when it is nice to have friends and other family support each other. 55 is young in today's world. I'm extremely sorry you lost your Dad.

I am Sorry for Your Loss ,

The Silver Lining in the whole Sad Situation is You and Your Father were at Peace . Yes the days were Many Too short but I somehow know he knew You loved him as I hope You know of his Love . Be Proud and Kind in your Deeds in Life and do it in His Honor & Memory . Always Keep him Near & Dear in your heart , Remember the Good times and cast aside any bad memories and mark them up as a Life's Lesson . Teach your children when that day comes the things he taught you as did his Father and the Fathers afore him .

Yes eventually you will go through the Grieving process and the next few months will be hardest on You as well as your Family , Ya know the Holidays . So do as your Father would do to help Your Family deal with your loss making him Proud in his Honor .

Be Strong , Be Well and Do as Your Father Would do to keep some semblance of Normalcy in these Troubled Days Ahead ,,,



An Irish Funeral Prayer :

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.

The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

That is a touching funeral hymn. I will have to remember that for a prayer. Thanks for all your responses.

Thinking of you. Went through the same thing when my old man was 52.

That's a tough one brother , I would go out to my farm and plant one in memory of the Old Man . God Bless

That sucks to hear dude

Sadly though, every one must pass one day. Even ourselves, and we too will leave saddened loved ones behind.

May he rest in peace

i have no tips, but i must extend my condolences.

Wow man. Wow. So sorry. Losing a father is rough. I lost my uncle...he raised me because my dad was never around. Passed in his sleep randomly at 42...intense emotion. Everyone grieves differently....but you must make time to grieve....because holding it in isn't healthy...not saying your holding anything in. Just make sure that if the time feels right don't hesitate to break down. It's important. I suspect losing my own father here in the next 10 years...hes has had 2 random seizures recently and he's 46 and in good shape...he just happens to be an alcoholic and a smoker...but I've thought his death through...and have kind of come to terms with it. You just gotta remember the good...and the bad...and just know he's in a great place. He'd want you to succeed and do great things. Live a good life...its the simplest yet meaningful thing you can do in his absence.

Again...sorry for your SUDDEN loss. One minute their saying hello...the next your saying good bye.

Keep that sadness from turning into anger. And stay away from booze....it makes it worse...also smoking bud...I'd keep it to a minimum...death and sadness and an inverted perspective drug....not good.

The loss isn't missed suddenly, but broken up and extended over every missed birthday, cristmas and phonecall.
It is the moment a man becomes a man though.

You mention you two had some rough times but came together lately. Be thankful for that. Im at the other end of the spectrum, Im 52 and my son is 21. I love him dearly and would die for him, but we have a hell of a time communicating with each other, I try to teach him from my mistakes but it aint easy, he wants to do things on his own then we end up pissed at each other for days. Maybe your Pop was the same way, for some reason words are hard to come by to those we love the most. Good Luck to you and sorry for your loss.

my dad is only 53, and has been sick lately so this hits close to home. I am sorry for your loss man, losing a loved one is never easy. remember the good times. stay strong

Your old man is in a better place than we are. I try not to mourn a death I rather take the chance to celebrate life if that makes sense at all to you. Reagrdless of anything you do it is gonna hurt for a long time. Rely on loved ones and they will rely on you and you can get through it together. May God be with him and your family always.