Great Joke To Tell While Blazing

Whats the number one most used word in the world?

give up?

its ear.

(friends will all bitch and tell you its not)

* proceed to inhale deeply and pass the blunt and while holding in smoke say...*

eeearrr
enjoy!

haha thats so not funny but i happen to like unfunny jokes so ill use it thanks

i know a few people who would enjoy this type of humour

Thats the worst joke I've heard in a long time!!!!

I love it!

Hoax

Two old stoned hippies, BrickTop and Roseman are sitting on the small boat pier, at the Okeefanokee swamp in Florida, sharing one of BrickTops's home grown Joints. They;'re stoned to teh bone and just sitting there grinning. They both have removed their shoes and are dangling their feet in the warm swampy water. Then BrickTop rolls a 2nd Joint, and a 3rd joint and they smoke them all up to a tiny roach.
After about a hour of silence and just taking the view in, Roseman turns to BrickTop and says:
Hay, Man, one of these damned aligators just bite my leg off"!!!
BrickTop replies "which one?"
to which Roseman answers: "Hell, I don't know, all of these aligators look alike to me"~!!!!

One time there was this monkey, in the jungle, up in a tree, smoking a joint, getting wasted.

Down on the ground below, a lizzard, a good sized lizzard about 18 inches long, walks by and smells the smoke. He looks up and sees the money smoking a J and says

"Hey, you up there, Monkey, I wish I could hit that joint with you".

Being a cool dude and friendly and very very high, the monkey replies

"well, sure, Lizzard, can you climb this tree and get up here?"
and the lizzard says
"Yes, I am on my way up" and the lizzard climbs the tree and finishes the joint with the monkey.

Then the monkey says
" Hey, Lizzard, do you want to smoke another one?" and the lizzard says
"yea, sure, but I got cotton mouth so bad I can barely talk. Is there any water around here?"
Monkey says "yea, sure, right on the other side of those trees is a big river full of water, go get yourself a drink and hurry back and I'll have one rolled and ready when you get back" .
So the lizzard finds his way to the river, but being so stoned, he slips and falls in at the edge.
"HELP, Help" the lizzard cries, "Save me, I am drowning and I can not swim" !

About that time a ten foot long alligator swims by and yells
"Hold on little cousin, I'll save you" and the alligator swims up to the lizzard, lifts him up on his nose and carries him to the river bank and lets him go on to the land.
The lizzard says "Oh thank you, thank you cousin, I was so stoned from smoking some good reefer that I slipped and fell in the river".
The alligator says "Cousin, I wish I could smoke some good reefer too"
and the lizzard replies
"There is a very friendly monkey up in a tree with a bag full of some killer weed, on the other side of those trees. Just follow the smell, find the monkey and ask him. he's friendly and will gladly share. I'm too stoned to smoke any more".
So the alligator follows his nose to the other side of the trees, smells the smoke, looks up, and yells
"Hey, Monkey, wait, let me hit that joint with you"
the Monkey looks down and says

" Good God Lizzard, how much water did you drink? " !!!!!!!

Bump, bump

does anyone here have a henweigh?

What's a Henweigh, DoubleOverhead?

*pauses for corny reply*

about 6 lbs

I dont even get the stupidness of this joke...

aw man you answered my joke, let me answer too.... about 6 pounds hahahahahaha

Cannabis is perfectly healthy and good for you...unless there's a cop or a fed with a weapon and an attitude.

thers a scorpian over near the river nile in egypt and he wants tocross the river so he asks a friendly lookin frog if he can get a lift across the river on his back the frog reply's "well friend i would gladly give u a lift across the river but u will sting me in the back and i shall die" so the scorpian says back to the frog "that would be terribly stupid of me from i need to get to the other side andif i did sting u on the way across i would also die because i cant swim" so the frog sits back and has a think about this. After awhile the frog decides to give the scorpian a lift across the river about halfway across the river the scopian stings the frog many times, the frog turnsaround nsays u bastard why did u do that now we will both surley die the scorpian reply's "welcome to the middle east bitch"

now that my friends, is classic.

hey how come them jahova witnesses always show up when i'm either working or blasted and or both.i try to get them helpin me out and they usually do.just yesterday i was baked so i ended up hooking the dude up with a miringa tree.it turned out i worked with the dude at some point.but i always offer them beer cigarettes joints and ask them if their hungry.i guess they get hip to my bored plight and eventually firgure i'm hopeless and go about their merry way speading the joy. when i first encountered them i thought for there is a pitch or scam gonna happen.but sho nuff they just wanted to leave some litterature and spead the word. hey once a really sexy one starts bangin on my door and at first i thought i died and went to heaven.i took a better look and dicided she was under age, a narc or a transvestite so i put my clothes back on.and got real quiet for awhile til she went away.turned out she was a neighbor that lived close by and she was only 13.well thats just freaky.my first incounter with the witnesses.

Boudreaux passed the regionals and made it to a poetry contest. His competitor was a Harvard professor.

They were to compose a poem with "timbuktu".

Boudreaux thought "Meh, wat da hell is dat?"

He replied with,

"On through the bayou me and Tim went
until we came upon a nylon tent
In that tent three hookers we knew
I bucked one and Timbuktu"

And this one confuses alot of smokers. Many times my friends are still sitting there waiting for the punch line:

A guy walked into a bar and said, "Owww"

[FONT=&quot]The Power of a Badge.....[/FONT]



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[FONT=&quot]DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.[/FONT]






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[FONT=&quot]The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "[/FONT]






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[FONT=&quot]The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.[/FONT]





[FONT=&quot]A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... [/FONT]






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[FONT=&quot]With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....[/FONT]




" Your badge. Show him your BADGE ! "