How do form your relationships with people.

One thing that has been fascinating me is the way humans interact, so I guess I'll start with a surface topic.

How do you develop a relationship with the opposite sex? I suppose this is the most basic question I can think up right now. Or atleast people are better to answer this type of question, unless there is something even more simple.

Questions like...why did you approach the person (type of person, group..?), how do you choose what to talk about, are you subtle, direct, sexual, 'friend-like', etc... or like stoney...what do you do when people approach you, etc.. physical, their presence, etc...anything

I suppose you guys can do whatever with the question, but let's start at this.

They come to me, baby.I just sit back.

It really all depends on where I'm at. At school and in my classes, I'm careful not to step on any toes cuz i see the same poeple everyday lol so i usually go for the friendly non-threatening approach. At a party or something on the other hand, i say what i want when i want I mean nothing to discussing or blunt but i say what's on my mind lol.

It's weird we create two personas at those two events. kinda sucks too

Man you sound just like me when I'm totally baked lol. When I'm high i think about this stuff all the time and get no where haha glad to see another like minded thinker. Ya it is weird how everybody has a different form of themselves. It's all about social acceptance and doing what you think will not make you an outsider, or it could be a self preservation thing like how when i talk to my parents or a police officer I'm totally not the same person i am around my friends. I'm gunna stop right there cuz i could go on forever about this kinda stuff

opposite sex.... lets see; i just act like i would around anyone else, cause i cant fake it forever.... but i was never too good at the whole thing... i was way too concerned about being pushy, or maybe it was rejection that scared me... but because of this, i have a flawless track record; never been turned down... but that is only b/c i was fairly sure of the answers before i asked....
now that i am out of highschool and married, i and my wife run into alot of these girls... turns out i coulda had my pick of most of them. oh well, if that had happened i prob wouldnt be married now... i still kick myself in the ass over alot of it though..

I dunno, you really have to play it by ear, every situation is different. I always have the first best idea about something but I'm not intrusive about it, just tastefully assertive in a charming sort of way and I'm witty and jokey about life. I never take myself too seriously and I involve people in my discussions.

Humans aren't really that hard to figure out. NEVER be desperate or lonerish either.

why can't you be lonerish?

I live by this quote daily and I think that would make me "lonerish".

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

y sorry i didnt mean that as an offense. I guess what ever works for ya, just do 'you'

AchillesLast said:

why can't you be lonerish?

I live by this quote daily and I think that would make me "lonerish".

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

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Wow that summerizes me.


I'd say that I've always been the person that sits back and meets people through other people. I'm not a very intrusive person, so I wait, and become friends with people progressively, but really good friends. I think I've become too much of the 'friend' person because it's been difficult to get anywhere in a relationship with girls, maybe I fear rejection? I'm not sure, but I'm not the 'pick-up artist' by any means.

I have all this sorted, but when I'm typing it I forget as I write it down, sounds stupid, and a little off point, but whatever, im sure it makes some sense

Does this make sense...If I told you something, it would be the same thing as it always was, you wouldn't have had a different reaction to it, as if our fate is predetermined, even the choices we think 'change' our life

bleh, i can't articulate myself...certain things just happen and they make out a life that was already decided we're just experiencing it as we always would...

fuck it...i give up, maybe someone can try to clarify for me...

"The higher up I move in the social scale, the more crippled my mind and impulses become by the resultant complacency."

For some reason thats what that quote reminded me of *shrug*

"I'd say that I've always been the person that sits back and meets people through other people. I'm not a very intrusive person, so I wait, and become friends with people progressively, but really good friends. I think I've become too much of the 'friend' person because it's been difficult to get anywhere in a relationship with girls, maybe I fear rejection? I'm not sure, but I'm not the 'pick-up artist' by any means."



sounds like what i was trying to say.... i have been told by damn near every girl-friend (platonic? err) that i was too nice...... and here i was thinking i was a dick...

Funny thing is, I'm not quite sure how I could approach the situation any differently. It certainly wouldn'y be in my character, and people would reacte differently as well, because they know me. Sometimes I try to jump out of character, maybe I discover something better, but it never works out too well.

Weird shit eh?

I've been told I'm a smart guy. I have a masters degree and a corporate-type job. I've grown bud. I can fix cars, computers, houses. I haven't found many things that I can't learn and do well if I try. But relationships are a different story for me. Lately it has seemed like the older I get the less I understand people and the more difficulty I have with relationships all while increasing my abilities in just about every other area of my life. I just don't get it.

passdabong said:

Funny thing is, I'm not quite sure how I could approach the situation any differently. It certainly wouldn'y be in my character, and people would reacte differently as well, because they know me. Sometimes I try to jump out of character, maybe I discover something better, but it never works out too well.

Weird shit eh?

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just be you bro... the relationships (working ones) will fall into place; you will only go backwards trying to be someone you are not.

yeah, i'm more of a leader it seems. my friends always look to me for ideas and choices.