How old were you?

B

beaned0124

Active Member
looks may not be everything but it certainly is in the beginning. if your in a bar you dont walk up to the ugliest bird there and introduce yourself do you?
 
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40acres

New Member
I went two years without the television, and when i went to a place that had TV, it looked very fake and slow. I couldnt watch sitcoms or tv dramas, and stuck mostly to pbs and the history channel and such. I still try to. TV has sucked away are imaginations and reality.
 
panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
40acres said:
I went two years without the television, and when i went to a place that had TV, it looked very fake and slow. I couldnt watch sitcoms or tv dramas, and stuck mostly to pbs and the history channel and such. I still try to. TV has sucked away are imaginations and reality.
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I gave up tv for good over 10 years ago,i watch it once in a while but not often & when i do it's like history channel or stuff like that,then its maybe an hour a month.

Every time i turn on the tv there's some terrible shit on the news or a sitcom thats as far away from real life as the moon is from the earth,too damm phony & depressing for me so i gave it up.
 
Garden Knowm

Garden Knowm

The Love Doctor
40acres said:
I went two years without the television, and when i went to a place that had TV, it looked very fake and slow. I couldnt watch sitcoms or tv dramas, and stuck mostly to pbs and the history channel and such. I still try to. TV has sucked away are imaginations and reality.
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word :)


Commercials used to bug me.. now when I get in front of a TV. i enjoy the creativity of commercials more than most shows...


I travel a lot and occasionally will have to room with somebody who is a chronic tv junky... they walk right in to the hotel room and turn on the TV... and then tune out..

It's like a robot plugging into its creator... LOL
 
panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
Garden Knowm said:
when you realized that looks are not the most important element when picking a mate?
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I remember the exact day & how old i was,i was 36 years old when i finally realized what makes a good person & what the really important qualities in a mate are.
 
panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
Garden Knowm said:
What was the catalyst...? what sparked the insite?
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I had to think about if i was going to respond to this for a bit.

My insight was brought on by the death of one of my children,my wife & i were still trying to deal with the grief when i decided that the best thing for me was to dive into my work with both feet,i started working 14 hours a day 7 days a week,this went on for close to a year,it helped me forget.

At the same time my wife's mental state was getting worse but i couldnt see it because i was gone all the time,she had been put on tranquilizers,zanax & a few other things to help her keep calm,this i knew but i wasnt aware of how poorly they were working for her & how bad her mental state was getting.

I woke up out of bed at 3am on the morning of my 36th bday to take a leak & get a drink, when i got up my wife was not in the bed,after getting a drink i started to look around the house for her,all the cars were there but she was gone,i decided to look in the basement,i opened the basement door & found her slumped down on the stairs,i could not wake her up & she was barely breathing,i called 911 & got her to the hospital.

The ER docs figured out that she had slowly & methodicly taken a massive overdose of pills trying to kill herself,they pumped her stomache & gave her some crap to help her wake up but she lapsed into a coma,the doc's told us that if she woke up she could have serious brain damage,paralasis (spellling) or a bunch of other bad stuff,our family doc told us to prepare for the worst.

A few days later me & one of my sons were sitting at my home having coffee & talking about whats next when he noticed something,all my wife's coats were missing from the coat rack,we started looking in her closet & dressers & they were all empty,we found all of her clothing & personal items in the basement,all neatly box'ed up & stacked in the storage room,on top of the box'es was a manilla envelope,inside were letters that she had wrote,one for each of us explaining that she could not take the agony of our son's death any longer & that she was sorry for leaving us another mess but she had to go be with our son.

All at once it hit me like a flash,where the fuck was i when she was getting so bad & why hadn't i noticed any of this,later that night at the hospital before i left to go home i told her i was sorry for not being there to help her with her grief,i went home & tried to sleep.

I passed out after killing about half a bottle of vodka & had a nightmare that she died & once again i wasnt there,i called the hospital to check on her & they said all was the same with no change,so now im sitting there in the dark thinking about stuff,i was attracted to her at first from her looks,she was a footwear model when she was younger & very attractive,she still is & has kept her figure all these years but looks were my last thought,i started thinking about all the qualities she had that were so important to me,looks never came into my mind.

I said a prayer for my wife to be ok & went back to the hospital,i checked in on her,sat with her for a while then went to the hospital caffateria for breakfast,i just sat down to eat some runny ass egg's when i got paged over the PA system to come to the nurses station,fuk that, i booked straight to her room thinking she was gone,when i got there she had a doctor & 2 nurses messsing with her & i couldnt see her face so i pushed them aside & saw her with her eye's open,when she saw me she gave a small smile,i cried like a baby.

It took her about 48 hours to fully snap out of the effects of the drugs & to come back to a normal state,we talked while she was still in the hospital & she was afraid to come home for fear she would do it again,walking past our son's bedroom was hell on her,i left the hospital that day & called a friend of mine in real estate & told him to find me a new home asap, then made arrangements for my wife to go to her sisters house for a while.

We bought the new home & i took the next 6 months off work & spent it with her talking about our son,i kept her busy by taking her on a few vacations & we toured a bunch on the Harley to keep her mind on good things,not to mention an ass load of therapy.

All the qualities in her that i thought about while sitting in the dark shaking off the nightmare i had have never left my mind since.
 
Lacy

Lacy

New Member
Wow panhead. That was an extremely moving story. It really touched my heart.
Oh gosh. That was an awakening moment for sure. Very powerful.
Something very similar happened to our family when my brother got killed on a motorcycle.
Thanks for sharing
I will always remember this story when I see your name :)

Lacy
 
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40acres

New Member
I was going to rep you panhead, and i did, but i couldnt think of any words to say. You should never have to bury your child.



And you can kiss my ass for making my eyes well up.
 
panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
40acres said:
I was going to rep you panhead, and i did, but i couldnt think of any words to say. You should never have to bury your child.
And you can kiss my ass for making my eyes well up.
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I wasn't trying to bum any of you guy's out,i even thought about not answering the question because the answer was such a downer.

It kicked my ass even writing it.
 
Lacy

Lacy

New Member
Oh Gosh please don't feel that way. Its a real life event that had significance in your life. That had a HUGE impact.
Please don't apologize for sharing it with us.
I truly felt blessed by reading it. :)
Not all things in life are peaches and cream:blsmoke:

Luv lacy:blsmoke:
panhead said:
I wasn't trying to bum any of you guy's out,i even thought about not answering the question because the answer was such a downer.

It kicked my ass even writing it.
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40acres

New Member
that was really nice panhead. It is nice that you are bale to share like that. I hope everything gets easier if it hasn't.

And while this sounds stupid, and I dont't go to mass frequently, But i do pray, it hlelps sometimes.
 
Seamaiden

Seamaiden

Well-Known Member
panhead said:
I wasn't trying to bum any of you guy's out,i even thought about not answering the question because the answer was such a downer.

It kicked my ass even writing it.
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This is.. yours was one of those posts to which just about any response seems trite. I cannot even BEGIN to comprehend your pain, your wife's pain, I can understand her desire to be with your son, completely. I read your post soon after I'd been discussing with a friend an awful night dive I did with my youngest son, how close I thought I was to having lost him (he disappeared into that inky black water), all that went through my mind.

Yeah, that had to be incredibly difficult to write, to dredge up. I've got all these damned cliches running through my head right now, and.. damned cliches.

I don't think there is anything I, or anyone else, can say that is really... appropriate. Except this, I am very, very glad that you and your wife got through this and are still here. You strike me as a well-considered man, so your wife must be of the same caliber, which means you're both the kind of people we need here on earth, with the rest of us, to help whoever needs help slogging through. Clearly, you've touched more people than you may have intended, and that's a good thing.
 
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