Nuclear war started, or just a continuous nuclear war on a day by day basis? (doesn't sound very nuclear

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Truth be told i get asked questions like this by a stoner friend ery day and every day i ask him what he's wanting me to say. How can anyone realistically predict what their actions would be to an event like that? I doubt many people have planned ahead for this, so most likely it would be nothing more than random, incorrect guesses.
I mean does nuclear war mean that there is devestation everywhere, corpses litering every corner, mass death from radiation poinsoning? are there still schools and hospitals and public services? Chances are there is nothing, in which case it's pretty obvious that your kids will get a "try not to cry, but this is war" explanation, but what position am i in to determine what i'd say or do in an event like that.
At the end of the day, nuclear war to me means that every country involved has been nuked to pieces, to which case i think my childrens survival as opposed to our contentment (should that be in any way realistically possible) would be top of the pile.
Or are you just thinking "imagine living in fallout 3?"