heartbroken about your father, we all go through it, mine is still alive but if he were dead it would be the same thing. The reason i tell you about my father is because i hope you dont have a "why did this happen to me?" attitude.
Well why cant you get a job?, and if your having trouble meeting people for the first time, your just in a shitty place right now, i dont think theres anything wrong with you. Expecting karma to come make shit better for you is not a healthy way live. If you came across a large sum of money, or met a beautiful woman. Would you take that as payment for your fathers condition.
It is what it is.
also if you dont have any previous depression disorders, dont say "im depressed". Its not good for you to say or try to believe that. How were you expecting to feel about this?
i often do the same thing, i allow myself to believe that life has treated me unkindly, and that im bound for a payday. When i snap out of it i realize how childish i was.
you must have a life in missouri to go back to. i presume
ive never seen anyone as ill as your father, but hopefully the time you spend is meaningfull
when you settle down from the chaos, embrace life
if you like to view things in spiritual way, then say to yourself that karma has brought this to you for you to overcome.
LOL, i just read this and im thinking to myself " why dont you follow your own advice asshole"
grab life by the balls homey