cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
So come on in to the club lounge and let's have some cock tales.
My One-Foot Cock: 2018's First Penis Thread
- Thread starter cannabineer
- Start date
So come on in to the club lounge and let's have some cock tales.
Blue Wizard
Well-Known Member
One foot cock? You mean like the one on the ace of spades from my deck of cards? 
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
good old One-Eyed JackOne foot cock? You mean like the one on the ace of spades from my deck of cards?
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Last edited:
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
It wouldn't be sore if it didn't get beaten off
charface
Well-Known Member
Thats the difference between meat and chicken.
If you beat your chicken it will die.
lokie
Well-Known Member
I see your 1 foot cock and raise you a 19 inch pecker.
Adults are 40 to 49 cm (16 to 19 in) long
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pileated_woodpecker
Adults are 40 to 49 cm (16 to 19 in) long
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pileated_woodpecker
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
Your supposed to choke your chicken, not beat it. Here's an extensive list of masturbation euphemisms (A-H), which are your favorite???
I'm leaning toward Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come, and Fiddle the Flesh Flute...
Abusing the wicked stick
Adjusting the antenna
Aiding and abetting a known felon
Applying the hand brake
Arguing with Henry Longfellow
Arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
Attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Audition your hand puppet
Backstroke roulette
Badgering the witness
Barking up the wrong tree
Bash the candle
Basting the ham
Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Being rough with the sex stick
Be your own best friend
Beat the bishop
Beat the bologna
Beat the dummy
Beat the meat
Beat the pud
Beat the stick
Beat up your date
Beef tips stroking off
Bleed the weed
Blow your own horn
Bludgeon the beefsteak
Bop the bologna
Bop the bonzo
Box the Jesuit
Box with Richard
Brushing up on your typing skills
Buff the banana
Bugger your hand
Building upper-body strength
Burp the baby
Burp the worm
Butter the corn
Calling down for more mayo
Calling in the secret service
Caning the vandal
Caulking the cracks in the bathroom tile
Charm the snake
Check for testicular cancer
Cheese off
Choke Kojak
Choke the chicken
Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
Clamp the pipe
Clean your rifle
Cleaning out your account
Clear the snorkel
Climb the tree
Closet Frisbee
Combing the hair on your bald pig Sally
Combing your hair
Communing with nature
Consulting with your silent partner
Corral your tadpole
Couch hockey for one
Crank the love pump
Crank the shank
Crimp the wire
Crown the king
Crushing pop cans in the dark
Cuddle the kielbasa
Cuff the carrot
Daisy-chaining
Dancing in the dragon's fiery breath
Dancing with the one-eyed sailor
Date Miss Michigan
Date Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters
Date Rosie Palm and her five sisters
Debugging the hard drive
Defrosting the fridge
Digital penile oscillation
Discovering your own potential
Distributing free literature
Do handiwork
Do it your way
Do the janitor thing
Do the white knuckler
Doing your homework
Drain the monster
Dry humping the ottoman
Eating grapes with the one-armed man
Electing the President
Engage in safe sex
Exercise one's right
Exercising your right to privacy
Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love
Feed the ducks
Feeding bologna to the Smurfs
Feeling your way around
Fiddle the flesh flute
Firing the pound gun
Fishing with dynamite
Fist your mister
Five knuckle shuffle
Flick your Bic
Fling your phallus
Flip the bishop
Flipping your omelet
Flog the bishop
Flog the dolphin
Flog the dong
Flog the log
Flog the mule
Flogging the egg man
Fly fishing
Fondle your flagpole
Free Willy
Frost the pastries
Frosting your maple bar
Frying up the corndog
Gallop the old lizard
Gardening with the golden trowel
Genital stimulation via phallengetic motion
Get a date with Slick Mittens
Get the German soldier marching
Get to know yourself
Get your pole varnished
Give it a tug
Give your low five
Giving the half-blind dog a run for his money
Go a couple of rounds with ol' Josh
Go blind
Go on a date with Fisty Palmer
Go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
Go the blow
Going Hans Solo on Darth Vader's head
Submitted by Jake W.
Goose the gherkin
Grease the pipe
Greasing the three-legged cow
Hand job
Hard labor
Have one off the wrist
Helping put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college
Hitchhike to heaven
Hitchhike underneath the big top
Hitting too close to home
Hoisting your own petard
Hold the bishop
Hold the sausage hostage
Holding your own
Hone the cone
Honk your horn
Hosing down the driveway
Hotfooting it to the nearest exit
Hug the hog
Hump your hose
lokie
Well-Known Member
LOL
Every once in awhile I have to rearrange my package and my wife asks"What are you doing?"
I'm taking inventory.
charface
Well-Known Member
I use to stretch my ball skin out like a pelt and have my wife scratch them with her long ass nails.
Made my back foot shake like when ya scratch a dog just right or swirl a qtip in your ear hole. Heaven
Cock
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
That would give me a hecking concern