North-east man in court for farting during strip search

Aeroknow

Aeroknow

Well-Known Member
scumrot derelict said:
View attachment 4407885

www.eveningexpress.co.uk

North-east man in court for farting while bent over during strip search

Stuart Cook bragged: 'How do you like that?'
www.eveningexpress.co.uk www.eveningexpress.co.uk
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Wuts up dude?
That’s some some funny ass shit right there! I always wanted to do that, but couldn’t come up with one when it was time.
I was KP in jail and as a KP we got fucking strip searched constantly. And you get it done after every visitation.

I was super close to doing something else just to see their reaction. Before a visit from friend or family I was gonna put a jolly rancher between my butt cheeks. When it was time to bend over and cough out goes the candy. I think that would have been funny but i chickened out every single time :-(
 
scumrot derelict

scumrot derelict

Well-Known Member
Aeroknow said:
Wuts up dude?
That’s some some funny ass shit right there! I always wanted to do that, but couldn’t come up with one when it was time.
I was KP in jail and as a KP we got fucking strip searched constantly. And you get it done after every visitation.

I was super close to doing something else just to see their reaction. Before a visit from friend or family I was gonna put a jolly rancher between my butt cheeks. When it was time to bend over and cough out goes the candy. I think that would have been funny but i chickened out every single time :-(
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Hey, babe.

What flavor jolly ranchers are best for the squat and cough? Don't say cinnamon either or this relationship is over.
 
Skuxx

Skuxx

Well-Known Member
This reminds me of a dark time in my past when I was on probation. I had to check-in and take a drug test, so I was nervous as can be, chugging water, and stopping at every gas station to pee on the drive there. When it was my time to pee I always got a little shy with the cop staring at my micropenis, so I had to push with everything I had in order to relieve myself. This time I felt the familiar feeling of diarrhea, and asked if i could take a shit before finishing the test. He declined. So I stood there and blasted out a massive load of shit all over myself, but succeeded in pissing in the cup, so I didn't care. As I waited for the test results I plopped a seat in the waiting chair just to get shit all over it. It was running down my leg (wearing shorts) and on my shoes, and on the floor. Everyone in the room was dying and covering their nose. But I passed the test and they basically made me leave.

To top it off, in the parking lot I was in such a hurry to leave that I wrecked into a lady's van on my way out. I had to explain the shitty situation and she said something like, "you're lucky you just shit yourself, just get outta here". On my way back, I passed my exit by about 10 miles and had to turn around, It's about an hour drive, just a bad time all around.

After that, they would let me leave with a hallway pass to take a shit when I had to.
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Skuxx said:
This reminds me of a dark time in my past when I was on probation. I had to check-in and take a drug test, so I was nervous as can be, chugging water, and stopping at every gas station to pee on the drive there. When it was my time to pee I always got a little shy with the cop staring at my micropenis, so I had to push with everything I had in order to relieve myself. This time I felt the familiar feeling of diarrhea, and asked if i could take a shit before finishing the test. He declined. So I stood there and blasted out a massive load of shit all over myself, but succeeded in pissing in the cup, so I didn't care. As I waited for the test results I plopped a seat in the waiting chair just to get shit all over it. It was running down my leg (wearing shorts) and on my shoes, and on the floor. Everyone in the room was dying and covering their nose. But I passed the test and they basically made me leave.

To top it off, in the parking lot I was in such a hurry to leave that I wrecked into a lady's van on my way out. I had to explain the shitty situation and she said something like, "you're lucky you just shit yourself, just get outta here". On my way back, I passed my exit by about 10 miles and had to turn around, It's about an hour drive, just a bad time all around.

After that, they would let me leave with a hallway pass to take a shit when I had to.
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that story gave me the first warm tingly sensation in my penis I’ve had in over three years. I’m going to read it again and hope I get it in my balls. They’ve been dead for so long now.
 
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