Please Do Not Do Fentanyl!!!!!!

I just want to tell anyone whos stupid enough to do this f@@KING drug, DONT!!! I regret to say it but I just lost my GF of 13 yrs , my kindered spirit, my best friend, my soulmate 3 days after my birthday. She thought she was smart, she worked in the medical field for 12 years, she was stupid enough to do it and problably got addicted to it , and it cost her life. Im hurting so much, I cant even function. We lived together for awhile and I had moved out of her condo into a foreclosure/rehab, I was spending all my time triing to fix it up so she would move out of her YuppiesVille condo. I was at the point of begging her to move in with me , I missed her so much , I was at the happiest point of my life when she was sleeping in the bed I bought for her with our Dogger, I felt complete , like a provider , that was Heaven to me. Well on Nov 15 her work had called me at 6:30 in the morning as I was on my way to work and they said I need to get down there, I hurried down there , praying and hoping for the best. When I got there they took me into the Chappel and told me she had passed. Why? She was smart! She was in charge! She f@@ked up ! Now I am empty! Im lost completely! I never saw any signs! Im triing to find help, but Overdoses are frowned upon. Now all my friends have moved on and Im left alone, It was just me her and the dog, thats all I ever wanted. Please , stay away from all that other shit out there.

I am sorry for your loss...

So sorry for your loss, been in pretty much the same boat as you ,there is nothing that will heal you but time will help...sending you positive vibes Bro.

This is something really hard to talk about but, if I could get through to at least 1 of you , I feel it is worth it. I cant even explain the lack of dignity and understanding associated to something like this. Im triing to find some kind of support groups and its not that easy. She was my life, I never saw it coming! I just google the word and all I read is OD! My friend is a nurse and he was telling me that this is a new club drug? Thats sick!!! Its like Heroin but 100 x stronger!!!!!!!!!!??????????

Yah. Everything I just said in the Meth thread, applies here.

I hurt so much for you.

dude im actually crying here so sorry for your loss.x

sorry for your loss
yea fentanyl is a very fucked up drug.

My neighbor died from that shit last year.

fentanyl is a nasty shitty drug, believe me my mum was on it during her cancer treatment and its jus plain nasty, so as OP says stay the fuck away from it

I know no words i say can make your situation any better or easier to deal with just know i am very sorry for your loss and i hope all goes well for you!

man, that is horrible.. i know alot of peps were oding around my way a few years ago because people were cutting heroin with that fentanyl stuff.. very bad stuff..
to the op, may many good times come your way, i know it doesn't help the pain, but know that we're in your corner...

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. If I cant turn to you guys for support, who can I ? Like I said, there is such a negative stigma associated with such an accident, cause yes in my heart it was an accident. She knew what she was doing, but something went wrong. Im not saying what she did was right, cause it wasnt, but I know she didnt mean to leave us. Its been 5 weeks now and I truly see it was just us, me her and the dog. Everyone else has moved on and continued there lives, but me and the dog and my Mom , and her Mom are all left her to ponder where we went wrong. They say love is blind, I just feel I was so blinded Im almost ashamed at myself for allowing this to happen, but if I knew I would have dropped everything just to help her. May she rest in peace. May god have mercy on my soul.

Sorry for your loss man.

Not disrespect, but these things happen all the time, we need to let go and move on. As you said it yourself "I feel ashamed for allowing this to happen." but the fact is you didn't know and it was her choice. Its your ego that is being burned, just your identity to her, she was your everything, your center of meaning; and she can still be, but not in flesh you can only hope or dream. Many people have fallen from us due to opoid use, many provocative and powerful people; but all have their time. If you live life as if it were a paradox, merely meant to be experienced rather then quantified and analyzed you may find yourself happier. Comic determinism, the power of now, law of attraction, quantum uncertainty, collective conciousness, ect. all help one to realize, " If all things that are good exist, and all things that exist all inexorably connected, the all things that exist are good" or at least without intrinsic meaning, just be prepared to be burned again.

Peace

im so sorry for your lost and am so hurt to read about wat has happened.
i just recently heard this old freestyle that i thought really said alot, when i read ur post i just thought of it and typed up some of the lryics, now im not the most relious person, and i am not tryin to push religion on anyone but it might help u get through and think bout things, i dont know.........

you gotta love your lord and savior jesus christ with all of ur heart
his light shines bright when it seems like life is all in the dark,
he make u feel like its aight when life is falling apart
and hes always there to hear you when u call him to talk
he can turn ur guilt into grace,ur sin into salvation
so be pationant when u going through trails and tribulations

temptations are hard to resist,hippacrits while try to misslead u
but i belive in god and that he provides for his people
hes with u when u lonely, u hungrey then he'll feed u.....Cassidy fresstyle bout god and bible.

hillbilly345 said:

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. If I cant turn to you guys for support, who can I ? Like I said, there is such a negative stigma associated with such an accident, cause yes in my heart it was an accident. She knew what she was doing, but something went wrong. Im not saying what she did was right, cause it wasnt, but I know she didnt mean to leave us. Its been 5 weeks now and I truly see it was just us, me her and the dog. Everyone else has moved on and continued there lives, but me and the dog and my Mom , and her Mom are all left her to ponder where we went wrong. They say love is blind, I just feel I was so blinded Im almost ashamed at myself for allowing this to happen, but if I knew I would have dropped everything just to help her. May she rest in peace. May god have mercy on my soul.

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It wasnt your fault.

This is the bottom, it gets better now.

You are not alone.

My heart goes out to you brother.
Never nothing as huge as that, only friends and even best friends, but that cannot compare to losing a lover/companion.... but I've lost at least one every year, for the past 6-7yrs due to overdoses..... all on pharmaceuticals. Actually had one I heard of today... a girl I went to highschool and was good friends with, evidently OD'ed shooting meth.. and supposedly did it purposely after contracting hepatitis from shooting up..... she left behind a little baby girl, who now has no parents at all as dad was never around.

I will also agree that a drug as potent as fentanyll is extremely unsafe for most members of the drug using public.... 2mgs can be the difference between life and death in some instances I'd imagine; and that's a very slim margin of error.

I felt those words deep bro... your a very good man for trying to do your best in helping here. But like all opiates especially something so strong that it'll literally cripple you from the withdrawal symptoms... is something very ugly. My condolences go out to you and your gf's family!

wow man, thats just terrible im so sorry sorry for your loss, really sorry, and during the holidays is very tough stay strong. I dont kow if your into religion, im not really, but my girlfriends mother over dosed like three years ago from oxycotten, and her dad went to a church and found like a widowers group of men through the church and it really seemed to help him through the harder times, they may have something like that in your area likely the churches would be running them or at least know of them. im so sorry for your loss

boabbymac said:

dude im actually crying here so sorry for your loss.x

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No need to lie to the man.

Ive been going to church and a counselor, triing to find grief groups most of them end now and continue in the new year. Im triing to be honest with myself and accept the term"OVERDOSE!", and most of the online grief groups almost dont even recognize or aknowledge overdosing as a disease or such. Ive gotten more advice and support here than from any other group. I dont care what they say about youguys, your alright by me. Some say MJ is a gateway drug , but I say your in control, you have to know whats good or bad. If my story helps or stops people from doing these hard drugs than I think it worth it.