I totally understand moving where you know people... I have done that too.
Well, I would say that in general your biggest concerns are going to be smell, and if your close to your neighbors, sound. Since your going to be quiet about your grow, you can move anywhere, so...
S.D. can be really nice. People are generally laid back, there's less traffic than L.A. (But that's changing) and as long as you are not out in East SD County it's cool, temp wise. Cops are dicks.
I have never lived in SF, but as a tourist I think it's nice. Expensive, but nice.
Menifee - Meh. it's an average quiet town in the IE. Dusty, hot, nothing really there to do. Inexpensive though. About an hour drive to LA proper.