The Death of the Extended Family...

BillyBonnie

New Member
How many of you thrive (or even associate) within an extended family? Parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc?

When I was young, this was commonplace. I had a great extended family. And I really miss it. But when I grew up, I had to move far away from my extended family to get the job I wanted. It's been a great job for the last 27 years, but I'm not sure I did the right thing by moving away. Extended families provide so much support. And so many memories.

It's just me and my wife now. Our son is off at college. And I constantly miss my extended family. We hardly see each other anymore.

Primates live in extended families. So did early humans. But humans in the modern world don't much anymore. And I think it's a shame.
 

BA142

Well-Known Member
I'm extremely close with my parents and my siblings. My Mom and Dad are two of the most important people in my life.

Other then that i'm not that close to anybody in my extended family. I see them 3 times a year (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter) and even then I find it hard to care about them at all :sad:

I'd really like to be closer with them, but we are SO different. My family is composed of Evangelical Republicans. They are REALLY into the Jesus thing. I'm an Atheist with Liberal/Libertarian views. We just don't get along all that well.

I definitely don't hate them at all, I'm always very friendly with them. We just don't click
 

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
Hey, OP. It's great to hear that you had a great extended family growing up, and I'm here to tell you that was really lucky. I'm pretty antisocial by nature. I've never really found all that much value in people simply because we share the same blood, and my standard of friendship is high. But in the few friendships I've had in my life (probably 15 or less), I've found more support, understanding and like-mindedness than I've ever found within my family. When we were young we would visit my aunt, grandma and first cousin (they all lived together in a tiny house of crazy) about 4-5 times per year. Out of all those times, I have about three good memories, and if I'm being completely honest, I can't say that I really loved them even though I felt the obligation to do so. They just didn't put in the time and effort to build any sort of meaningful relationship with me. My dad was fucking nuts, and made our lives a living hell. He had a lot of loyal friends though, even at his funeral, I could never understand why. Anyway, we never met any of his family (he came from a large Sicilian clan from Boston), and we never put our name in the phone book. I didn't understand why that was. Well, toward the end of his life he decided to list our number, and two of his crazy siblings crawled out of the woodwork and were in our lives before you could say fuck. I learned that my dad was the rock that kept that family together. Wow, we regretted that experience but I have a LOT of insane stories from that time. Maybe I'll post a few here when I'm fucked up some time. I'm very lucky now to live in the same city as the family members that I admire and respect; my sister, my niece and my mother. We're closer than ever because we all pitch in to care for my mom who has Alzheimer's, and I'm glad none of us has ever chosen to leave the city. So I guess my point is if you aren't fortunate enough to be born into a great family, forget genetics. You have no choice in that. Your family are the people who give you love, support, understanding and encouragement...
 

kizphilly

Well-Known Member
im close with my mom and brothers the rest of my family is to hypocritical for me i rather not be around them im more close with my girls family then mine
 

drive

Active Member
My family has always been out of sight out of mind. I hold no value to them only to my self and my own preservation
 

BillyBonnie

New Member
I think the last group of people who lived predominantly in extended families were the African-Americans, after they were freed from slavery in America. White people wouldn't give them jobs, so they thrived in extended families over time doing farm work and such for themselves. At least, this is what I've read.
 

Total Head

Well-Known Member
my only family is my mother who is extremely close by and a crazy aunt and her crazy son (my cousin), and the last two i don't see very often at all but i would be there if they needed me.

my whole family on both sides is basically at war and has been since i was 14. when i was 14 my dad died, and he was apparently the glue because i never spoke to any of them again, including 2 half brothers (didn't help that they scavanged through my dad's shit and didn't tell me or my mom, sold a bunch of shit that we would have liked to have kept). that same month, my grandfather on my mother's side also died, and there was bitterness over the will, and i never spoke to any of them again, either. they basically disowned my then 80 year old grandmother over fucking money. money that they weren't entitled to. they are human filth.

so my guess is that the "death of the extended family" has a lot to do with key members of the family passing away, and money. a lot of my friends have similar situations with their families. people not being told of funerals, purposely posting a late obituary, taking off like thieves in the night, selling property from under others, etc. some people are just pieces of shit and they shouldn't get a pass because you share dna.
 

rivvers

Member
Really close to my large family, we get together almost every weekend. I have moved around the country a few times but always come back home after a few years because i cant take it anymore.
ill stop by my parents and my friends will be there hanging out with my parents. so i guess even my friends like it. but yea i have a large Italian family, and would not trade it for anything
 

kizphilly

Well-Known Member
thats how my girls family is there always together if something happens there all there in 20 mins to support each other when i lost my job he dad was even trying t give me money to hold me over till i find something i didnt take it thoou but it doesnt hurt to have some crazy puerto ricans on your side if some shit pops off either lol
 
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