rmx
Member
Hi folks,
I have some experience with "mycology", and have successfully grown all sorts of mushrooms (standard and magic!) in the past with relative ease. You don't need much in the way of equipment to grow 'shrooms, and they're ready to harvest fairly quickly, so that's handy.
I recently decided to try my hand at cultivating a single cannabis seed - from a tiny brown grain to a majestic, flourishing, sticky green Goddess. I read around the RIU forums, and the information was good - but nothing beats going balls deep and having a go yourself, in my opinion.
So my seed of choice was a feminised Big Buddha Bubble Cheese seed. Partly because I liked the name and partly because it was one of the cheaper seeds! I'm not a big time smoker, so the decision to grow was motivated by curiosity rather than wanting a harvest - though, if things went well, I'd probably up the anté to a whopping 2-3 plant grow.
Things were rocky from the start for my little one - but despite a rocky start - being bagged up, sealed in a crude DVD case and enduring the inevitable rough handling of the postal workers, she reached me intact.
I sat down and carefully picked her out of her bag. "Fate has brought us together" I whispered, and then kissed her gently. She got stuck to my lip and I apologised. Then for a fleeting moment I wondered if it might be possible to germinate her in my mouth.
I set about preparing her new home. Going completely against all the advice I'd gleaned from the tomes of RIU knowledge.
Nutrient rich Miracle-Gro totally unsuitable for seedlings? Check!
No suitable source of light other than a 60w light bulb? Check!
Cold, generally unheated room achieving average temperatures 10' below recommended? Check!
Lacking pretty much every essential piece of equipment, even tweezers? Check!
Good to go!
I pull out a round tupperware container and carefully begin preparing her bedding, which will eventually ease her out of her dull brown shell. Only the finest quality toilet paper shall be her matress. I make sure the water is lukewarm too. It's a beautiful ritual, as she finally tumbles from my fingertips into her soggy bed of tissue. I give her one last kiss and fold the tissue over her, pray to Gaia and then seal the container and wrap it in a bundle of dirty clothing for 'warmth'.
I sit down, exhausted and overcome after this grand ceremony. I resume my usual browsing of xhamster, but something's not quite right... I can almost hear her screaming! Is the water too hot? Is the tissue too moist? A dreadful wave of fear pours over me, as if I was drowning in a torrential flood! I jump up and rush to her! "Fear not, my love, I'm coming!" and gallantly, I prise off the tupperware lid and then carefully peel the tissue back to reveal her vulnerable seeded form. She seems to look up at me, and at once feel her soothing me with wonderful green energies. I know she is ok, and I am relieved. A single tear drips from my cheek and onto her. I am sure she will absorb part of my sorrow. I humbly apologise and repair her home and amend her shelter.
The next 48 hours are almost unbearable. I barely eat, and drink only whiskey to calm my nerves. In my drunken haze, I'm ashamed to admit that I often brashly, foolishly, clumsily lost control several times and disturbed my little one, just to check she was well. I am sure she did not appreciate my filthy fleshy fingers prodding at her tender body and disturbing her sanctuary. But I did it out of love.
At some point, tiredness overwhelmed me! Alas, I am a weak fool! I fall asleep in a drunken stupor, with her tucked in my arms... But when I finally awaken and peer inside the container to say "good morning, my love" - I'm greeted by the sight of a beautiful, slender white tail portruding seductively from her brown cheeks. I almost drop the container in excitement! I laugh and cheer hysterically as I run around my room, naked, hungover, ecstatic!
I suddenly notice my curtains are open and there are two old ladies watching me. They are obviously admiring the size of my manhood, however, I quickly regain control of my emotions and close the curtains. Today is not the day for indecent exposure! I turn to my little seed and gaze in wonder at her newly developed form. In a dream like state of joy and revelry, I fill a small plant pot with miracle-gro and poke a crude hole in the center. I steady my shaking hands and pluck her from her damp mattress, before carefully rotating her tail upwards and dropping her into the dark soil. She seems to fall for an eternity before finally landing snugly in her soily tomb. There are tears in my eyes yet again as I carefully flick soil over her. It has been an emotional 3 days, and I have wept like an innocent lamb stolen cruelly from its mother and condemned to the slaughterhouse. But I somehow find strength. It pains me to know that she will be out of my sight and protection, all alone in the dark, dirty soil... But I scold myself and remember that this is not a burial, it's not a goodbye... This is only the beginning of a beautiful, sacred relationship between man and plant.
I have some experience with "mycology", and have successfully grown all sorts of mushrooms (standard and magic!) in the past with relative ease. You don't need much in the way of equipment to grow 'shrooms, and they're ready to harvest fairly quickly, so that's handy.
I recently decided to try my hand at cultivating a single cannabis seed - from a tiny brown grain to a majestic, flourishing, sticky green Goddess. I read around the RIU forums, and the information was good - but nothing beats going balls deep and having a go yourself, in my opinion.
So my seed of choice was a feminised Big Buddha Bubble Cheese seed. Partly because I liked the name and partly because it was one of the cheaper seeds! I'm not a big time smoker, so the decision to grow was motivated by curiosity rather than wanting a harvest - though, if things went well, I'd probably up the anté to a whopping 2-3 plant grow.
Things were rocky from the start for my little one - but despite a rocky start - being bagged up, sealed in a crude DVD case and enduring the inevitable rough handling of the postal workers, she reached me intact.
I sat down and carefully picked her out of her bag. "Fate has brought us together" I whispered, and then kissed her gently. She got stuck to my lip and I apologised. Then for a fleeting moment I wondered if it might be possible to germinate her in my mouth.
I set about preparing her new home. Going completely against all the advice I'd gleaned from the tomes of RIU knowledge.
Nutrient rich Miracle-Gro totally unsuitable for seedlings? Check!
No suitable source of light other than a 60w light bulb? Check!
Cold, generally unheated room achieving average temperatures 10' below recommended? Check!
Lacking pretty much every essential piece of equipment, even tweezers? Check!
Good to go!
I pull out a round tupperware container and carefully begin preparing her bedding, which will eventually ease her out of her dull brown shell. Only the finest quality toilet paper shall be her matress. I make sure the water is lukewarm too. It's a beautiful ritual, as she finally tumbles from my fingertips into her soggy bed of tissue. I give her one last kiss and fold the tissue over her, pray to Gaia and then seal the container and wrap it in a bundle of dirty clothing for 'warmth'.
I sit down, exhausted and overcome after this grand ceremony. I resume my usual browsing of xhamster, but something's not quite right... I can almost hear her screaming! Is the water too hot? Is the tissue too moist? A dreadful wave of fear pours over me, as if I was drowning in a torrential flood! I jump up and rush to her! "Fear not, my love, I'm coming!" and gallantly, I prise off the tupperware lid and then carefully peel the tissue back to reveal her vulnerable seeded form. She seems to look up at me, and at once feel her soothing me with wonderful green energies. I know she is ok, and I am relieved. A single tear drips from my cheek and onto her. I am sure she will absorb part of my sorrow. I humbly apologise and repair her home and amend her shelter.
The next 48 hours are almost unbearable. I barely eat, and drink only whiskey to calm my nerves. In my drunken haze, I'm ashamed to admit that I often brashly, foolishly, clumsily lost control several times and disturbed my little one, just to check she was well. I am sure she did not appreciate my filthy fleshy fingers prodding at her tender body and disturbing her sanctuary. But I did it out of love.
At some point, tiredness overwhelmed me! Alas, I am a weak fool! I fall asleep in a drunken stupor, with her tucked in my arms... But when I finally awaken and peer inside the container to say "good morning, my love" - I'm greeted by the sight of a beautiful, slender white tail portruding seductively from her brown cheeks. I almost drop the container in excitement! I laugh and cheer hysterically as I run around my room, naked, hungover, ecstatic!
I suddenly notice my curtains are open and there are two old ladies watching me. They are obviously admiring the size of my manhood, however, I quickly regain control of my emotions and close the curtains. Today is not the day for indecent exposure! I turn to my little seed and gaze in wonder at her newly developed form. In a dream like state of joy and revelry, I fill a small plant pot with miracle-gro and poke a crude hole in the center. I steady my shaking hands and pluck her from her damp mattress, before carefully rotating her tail upwards and dropping her into the dark soil. She seems to fall for an eternity before finally landing snugly in her soily tomb. There are tears in my eyes yet again as I carefully flick soil over her. It has been an emotional 3 days, and I have wept like an innocent lamb stolen cruelly from its mother and condemned to the slaughterhouse. But I somehow find strength. It pains me to know that she will be out of my sight and protection, all alone in the dark, dirty soil... But I scold myself and remember that this is not a burial, it's not a goodbye... This is only the beginning of a beautiful, sacred relationship between man and plant.
