The secret knowledge that no-one tells newbies.

yummy fur

Well-Known Member
Well they do, and in fact the best are usually to the point. It's not a matter of whether the information is correct, or true and if you want an example of that in action go and look up DHMO. You don't want to be one of those persons, worse you don't want to believe that lots of scientific stuff gives it any weight. But dope growing is not the same as the science.

Yes, there's the pH and all the correct nutient ratios and values will differ by amounts that are completely unimportant. Example, I just saw a thread where someone starts out by saying they want to know flush or not. The correct answer is pointless, you've got bigger problems one of which is asking more people is not somehow magically going to get you the right answer unless you can sort the shit from the shinola. I sympathise with you newbies, although I was growing hydro 25 years ago it was clones, I knew nothing of this strange autoflower, other than what! no light change, no having to seal off everything, not being allow to look at the girls whenever I like? It's a no brainer. I think autoflowers are good to begin with because you'll learn that they're all beautiful in their own way.

You see newbies need to learn, you can't and you shouldn't want pages and pages of stuff. You have to trust sometimes and the trick is who to trust, the first thing I wonder is why people do not investigate the persons qualifications first. Newbies need to not get caught in the rabbit hole.

See my thinking is this, I have almost the simplest system but this will be just as good. A square res whatever size, lets say 60L there's some holes punched in the top and a round pot filled with clay pellets sits on top, That is it, a pot sitting on a box. The only bit of electric stuff is whatever is the smallest water pump that will suit, usually 8 watt would be plenty, that is virtually silent. Nothing else. But this simplicity is for a purpose and I'm now going to explain this purpose for to head off any trolls.

My advice comes from seeing the same state of mind that I was in back then and I think what would I go back in time and tell my past self and that is what I"m telling you, so disagree with me by all means, be abusive if you dare, because I don't mind abuse as long as you can back it up. But please try to think before posting, read what you're writing and ask yourself if you have fully understood.

Actually let me back up a bit, for the adventurous newbie by all means try my shallow water culture in the round pots from https://www.nutrifield.us/products/pro-pot-system-15-27l/ anyway I've gone off the track a bit.

OK so the point of this is that you've eliminated all variables, and when you grow your autos, you must see as I did because I did nothing special no secret sauces, no special ir or uv, I bought into all that once and I'm not suggesting it's shite, although it might be, I wouldn't be surprised but the point is it doesn't matter because if I'm growing buds that are solid chunks of tasty rosin then er what do I suppose UV is going to do oh right it's like suncream the plant is now anthropomorphised into some sort of I don't fucking know but the point I want to make now is that it was all pointless work for nothing.

I had fucking charts and a calculator and I went through all the different suggested ratios on the GH bottle and with a slide rule and some divine sorcery I had a page of numbers that made sense, at the time but later on it was just utter madness .... where this is going is here... after months of this while waiting for my first harvest I was laughing at myself, I was like seeing myself as Alicia was in
How did this happen, I know what I'm doing with weed, I thought, I'm a smart guy so how did I fall down this rabbit hole, I'm still working that out.

So that's what this thread is about, I went there and I came back. Now it's just and endless show, always in the same conditions, never used cal mag. Maybe I would have got some improvement somehow, most newbies would be overjoyed if they got 4 zips.

Sometimes I feel like putting some soil in a fibre pot just for fun, I've got the light spill, but then I got what fucking for. I had to spend a long time to understand that it's extra brain damage for no reason and while you go through life if you do not use your experience to reduce brain damage, well you know what happens. You end up in the Australian Growers Thread, or as I like to call them TheCunse™ that's a bit harsh there's a few who may not be but at the least they are gutless twat. I made the awful error of thinking that would be a good thread, being Australian. Fuck I'm an idiot after a lifetime I can't get out of this habit of feeling sorry for them and long story short, I got fully sucked in. I was pretty pissed off with rollitup, but of course I've come to realise it was my own fault.

So here's another thing you've got to be aware that what you need is the tools on how to sort through, you need a shorthand. But I've done better, if you follow my instruction why won't you get the same result. Oh yeah, if you can possibly do without a tent then do it, just unnecessary hindrance, you gain virtually nothing except more brain damage which is what we want to get rid of remember.

Let me illustrate some example of the pitfalls, I spent years wondering about the tides and I had a basic understanding but I wanted to follow it from the first scientific explanations before Newton. OK so finally I decided to understand it, and I got it. And then I saw this video. And if you're not shocked then you haven't got the point


Here's another thing after I chanced upon this tale of early 20 century quaintness https://www.popsci.com/military-aviation-amp-space/article/2009-07/new-york-times-nasa-youre-right-rockets-do-work-space/

OK that's a cute story then I came across this I was just reading it for fun, I don't know why and I almost fell off my chair. The point is again just to illustrate that you cannot get away from it, you have to do some thinking for yourself. http://teachertech.rice.edu/Participants/louviere/Newton/law3.html

This is what newbies need to see, Or not, I put this up, and you work it out, it might be all shite, don't believe anything. Belief is for religion we want to know, but we also want to know what we are ultimately doing, sure we want to get the pH down to 2 decimal places, after all it can't hurt. Yes, it can hurt, brain damage remember, I mean. pH is tricky, it takes a little while to get the hang of it, but the indicator drops are the most accurate for the least brain damage. When I just said that one time on the 420 forum yes the one that has trolls for moderators with rainbow unicorn numbat, cellophane mushroom ..where was I oh yeah I just gave an opinion that 'indicator drops are more accurate for what you need. Now get this, a mod answer me angrily something like "don't post false information". The sad part is that I took them seriously for a moment after I discovered that the whole place is a troll nursery. So yes that's another thing newbies need to know, anyone who cannot prove to you somehow that they know what they are talking about, or even if they are experts giving you great knowledge, some people forget the mind of the newbie.

So you want good advice tailored to a newbie. In fact everyone should do this because what I've learned is that same plants from the same pack in the same conditions flowering two weeks a head. I've got a couple of blackberries in the same pot, one has the purple the other has none yet. So far I'm only coming to realise that this is another possible **the most important** think I'd have wanted my future self to tell me. Why? because I'll show you that it's the only way out of the rabbit hole because the best knowledge is direct knowledge, when you know something because you've done it and seen it and know it to be true, then the whole fucking world can call you an idiot that is what you gain.

Now here's a thought experiment, someone is going to do a grow test under HLG, and a Mars QB and some other white light it doesn't matter. OK ostensibly this is a test for the lights obviously but after a year of following my advice you'll not bother to pay any attention because one plant growing taller or flowering faster may have been from the lights, but how will you know. That's all you need to know for a newbie, all quality lights are the same. When you're then confidently growing plenty of herb and you've got a feel for these plants and you have to do almost nothing, So now you're ready to maybe put some UV in cause I'd probably be able to tell, but would I then I realise, I'm falling into it again.

I'm always questioning my previous understanding, like at the beginning I was consumed with the spectrum of the ChiLed, and I see again it was all to get the exact same dope that I now get.

So that's my advice to newbies, there's nothing I reckon anyone can add, there's nothing to debate, but if anyone does add anything please give your reasoning. Because in the end we just want to know the truth, it's not a contest to see who was right. There are few things I'd welcome more that someone convincing me that something I think I understand is wrong. But you can just tell me I'm wrong, you need to convince me.

Peace. hope there's not too many typos.
 
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Lucky Luke

Well-Known Member
You say "all quality lights are the same" which there not of cause. Some are MH some are HPS some are CMH and some are LED. No quality light is a Mars. I dont think ive seen a LED light outperform a HLG in any test so far? (disclaimer- I dont own a HLG)
And if your new to growing don't start with Autos. My reasoning is simply this. You cannot control when to trigger the flowering process with an auto.
 
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Renfro

Well-Known Member
That's all you need to know for a newbie, all quality lights are the same.
So I don't need to run hotter with LED due to VPD? Some report needing a little more calcium after switching to LED.

I won't get good yields and stretch from HPS due to the red spectrum?

If I wanna keep em short in veg with MH and switch to HPS for flower, perhaps post stretch?

Never mind that different techs require different wattages per square foot, distances from the canopy and require different amounts of cooling.
 

yummy fur

Well-Known Member
So I don't need to run hotter with LED due to VPD? Some report needing a little more calcium after switching to LED.
Are you a newbie? this is a thread for newbies because you've clearly not understood the premise of the thread. You've sort of proved my point with your ridiculous question. Some report, they are known as weasel words, look it up in wikipedia. VPD LOL, as I said look at all my grows, VPD is whatever the fuck it is. I am mostly not in the best VPD range, I used to worry about it but not any longer.

Fucking excellent bro
Thanks man, I'm going to clean it up a bit soon. Just some editing for a bit more clarity. It is a bit hard work at the moment, however the previous posters would have posted the same no matter what. And that's fine I know that the intelligent newbie will understand the post. Really the core ideas here would be of more useful to experienced growers.

I have a 40" long Mars as a standalone so I though, hey a 40" strip UV would be easy to put there, and it would not be big deal, but then I thought, 'why' and really I don't have answer. I'd have to spend two years specifically testing to get any information. See how easy it is to slip into it.
 
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yummy fur

Well-Known Member
Oh another thing that newbies need to know is that hydro done as I suggest, i.e. a pot on a box with tiny pump, is obviously no more difficult than a different pot sitting on the floor and being watered from a box. I am appalled at how many newbies are attracted to hydro because but then get scared because 'a pot on a box' somehow get's mixed up with air stones and dire warnings of root rot and so forth and Kratky, and Krusty, and Koko the clown, then they see tubes and pipes and pretty soon it just become overwhelming and soil in a fibre 'seems' easier.

Hydro is 'a pot on a box' say that to yourself newbies, it's not complicated.
 

yummy fur

Well-Known Member
Newbie Pro Tip

The single most important skill to master and this is something that can only be learned by experience, is how to prune or not prune a plant. I could explain a lot here but there's no point because it's a skill that you can only impart by showing not explaining, sure you can get the ideas across but it's a 'feel'. And if their mind is preoccupied with air, and whether the pH is drifting too fast or is 6 too high for hydro and other such nonsense, then the most important thing to learn that they can only get from hands on experience is diluted by worrying about bullshit.
 

too larry

Well-Known Member
"The secret knowledge that no-one tells newbies."

That they really aren't going to harvest a pound. Probably a couple, or if lucky; a few ounces.....
My noob advice is to grow bag seeds the first couple of times. It's much less stressful to kill a tray of free seedlings by over watering than it is at 10 bucks a seed.

And to just step away from the plant!!!!!!!
 

yummy fur

Well-Known Member
If you read enough posts and journals the patterns of what works start to appear. I just send people to growweedeasy for the fundamentals which was our "indoor grow bible" back in the day. So the real secret is start with the fundamentals then pick a style and copy people's journals who seem to know their shit.
I missed that. What can I say, except well put. In fact my first dilemma was wading into the defoliation controversy and it was grow weed easy that set me straight, including the famous original thread that has been condensed into a pdf without the clutter. For me, I saw the results, and that's all I needed to know.

And to just step away from the plant!!!!!!!
Yep, that's a good one. Fully deserving of extra highlighting. thx.
 
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rkymtnman

Well-Known Member
VPD is whatever the fuck it is. I am mostly not in the best VPD range, I used to worry about it but not any longer.
this is actually good advice. according to the VPD chart at my RH, i should be running at 59F. i've grown for 10 years not adhering to VPD
 

yummy fur

Well-Known Member
TL : DR Not necessary to read unless you want a bit of history.

To understand why what I"m doing now is the same as what I was doing 25 years ago and how that all the billions of pages of conflicting advice have made no difference at all. Other than I'm using LED. Now I know about VPD, and I never even knew cal/mag deficiency was a thing, and I still don't care about. In fact I'm using even less, I'm not even using any extraction. That's what I did when I knew nothing and now that I understand I realise that I cannot improve upon the original.

Let me tell a little story about how I started in hydro, I knew nothing at ll not even that it was a thing. So someone I was working with shows me his hydro set up, I say set up but it was really more like some sort of model train set with tunnel and pipes it was damp and weird. It was 1992 for some context, before trolls were a thing even that long ago. OK so I'm just an enthusiastic kinda guy when I decide on something I'm all in to do it right. I learned from my work that it's better to do it right than to do it over.

The first weed I bought off him was some sad little limp buds wrapped like a stick in foil. When you cut it because it was damp it was like hash. I mean it got you well ripped. I'm told the cutting was smuggled in from the USA, it was a California Redbud, whether this is true or not I have no reason to disbelieve it.

Here's the best bit, remember I know nothing at all and just the fact that someone is doing this no matter how dire is something rather than nothing. His technique because of some crazy belief was that he showed me his current plant, it was a big gnarly stump with new shoots coming off it. That's right he just lets the old one flip back and go again, he said it gets a bit tired after two or three.

He's going to give me a cutting and in exchange I give him a zip. Sounds good to me. Now I"m excited and there's a local hydro shop run by a really nice person who built all the stuff himself and pretty soon I worked out that clay balls are the new grow wool. Oh yeah Rodney, was using rock wool and explained it all to me. Next I got clued in about the Son-T-Agro as it I learned that it is good for the whole cycle.That was the tech to get from the Dam. After understanding the concept I just put some playbills in a large pot and put that pot on a tub, the pot in a box. I did get a bit overexcited and bought a bottle of CO2 which I injected through the keyhole of the shower room and plugged it up, then after a few hours I'd suck out a sample with a syringe going through some crystals that turned blue. Useless but it did no harm. I can though confirm that back in those days the PPM of CO2 was 330 so that's pretty staggering to me that it's now 430.

Now I've got the seedling in and a 400W SonT with a large chinaman's hat a foot from the plant, how it didn't die I do not know. The pot is in a shower cubicle that was not used. Even to this day it was the most picture perfect plant I've ever seen I din't know about shapes or pruning or what to expect or anything. I didn't know anything more. pH, keep the indicator yellowish green. Use GH nutes and that's it. You're probably seeing that my advice to newbies has not changed from what I do now.

Now for the fun, after it started growing and I'm naturally excited and it's natural to share new knowledge with friends, I mean that is the only reason that humanity can build hydros anyway. Unlike all other animals we have complex symbolic language and we don't have to keep reinventing the wheel. So when he comes around to have a look I show him it growing in the clay pellets and just talked about it for a minute basically telling him what someone who knew the fuck what they were doing told me.

What was his reaction I do not hear you ask? He says in the most sarcastic drawl you can imagine. "oh mr fucking expert, he's been growing dope for two weeks and he's going to tell me how it works", that kind of stuff. I mention that because there's a similar dynamic around the inter webs with regards to knowledge that comes from 'upstarts' like me who can see through all the bullshit, it's like that kind of attitude has infected the dope forums world wide.

Anyhoo ended up producing 8 zips of the very finest crystal packed bud that are as good at least as anything I now grow, I gave him two zips because I'm a generous kinda guy, even though he was an arsehole, he still helped me so I that trumps anything, he may be a dick and he probably regretted giving me the clone because he seemed genuinely bitter when he suddenly got double of what he asked for and it actually looked like proper weed rather than the sad little green bits of asparagus he was growing. So he's bitter I gave him double the quantity of better weed than he's ever seen, and he's upset because I listened to a hydro guy who bred his own plants and crosses, rather than him, in order to gain his approval I had to use MH and grow wool. This blows my mind that such ignorance is possible.

I have decided in a few weeks to go back to the pot in a box, forget the shallow water culture, I'm cutting out the middle man, I mean who knows I might discover that it makes no difference and is easier. So that will be coming up and tacked onto this thread. In fact when that happens I'll track it on this thread and demonstrate what I'm saying. Any newbies that want to follow along can tool up with all the necessary equipment, which will be a pot, a box an 8 watt pump and some clay. A pot a box a pump, a pot a box a pump, this is not something difficult for beginners. It sound like the introduction of the original iPhone, it's a wide screen iPod, a revolutionary Internet communication device, and a phone, an iPod, an internet communicator, a phone...ipod, internet communicator phone, are you getting it yet.

 
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yummy fur

Well-Known Member
This is something I've seen a lot that banjaxes the aspiring newbie, it's correct but it's oh so wrong. An overly concerned newbie, which means every newbie, has been scouring the images on google about what particular plant deficiencies look like and he spots something on his plant, some claw leaf, and quite a dark green, this is not normal, better get some professional advice then off to the plant clinic and posts his photoIMG_8542.jpg he does mention that it seems to be only on a few leaves. Then the advice will flow, curiously the same advice that would already have been attached to the photo in the first place. But he comes to his friendly community to be a part of the big boys, and he duly gets what he asks for attention and a ticket to the rabbit hole from which he may never return after all he did all the unnecessary advice about his nute imbalance and it all worked out so what do you think he's going to do next time, that's right he'll keep on listening to bad advice. This is my current Blackberry Kush that has the gammy leaf IMG_8543.jpg

Now if you follow the advice you were given, to do something about it you'd never have discovered that it isn't anything. However now we have untold millions who are so eager to demonstrate how well they can repeat stuff that's already been repeated ad nauseam.

Pro Tip: do not panic.
 
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yummy fur

Well-Known Member
I mean FFS look at this https://www.rollitup.org/t/why-yellowing-advice-needed.997808/ let me deconstruct it. So some newbie posts a photo that may possibly need correction but certainly does not indicate anything needs to be done. Who is the person giving him advice, why it's none other than someone who assure them they know what the problem is because they have it, to them it's proof they know, but if they knew how did it happen. So the first person does not yet have any problem and he's getting advice on how to fix the problem he doesn't have by someone who does and has not yet proved he it fixed it. Or is it overwatering.... down the rabbit hole for you my friend. If anyone is crazy enough to take advice from someone who has plant problems then they would do well to think about their whole life and their ability to as I said earlier, sort the shit from the shinola

Now I want to clarify, I'm not saying that someone who cannot grow can't give good advice, or that someone who can grow can't give bad advice, I'm just saying that if you are going to pay any attention to anything you're better off avoiding any advice from anyone with problem plants. This is so obvious that I can't believe it needs to be said.
 
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yummy fur

Well-Known Member
How to sort the shit from the shinola with analysis. All these posts below, are saying the same thing, or rather they are implying it because they that way they don't have to justify anything. So right away you know these people are as thick as two planks especially because they are opening themselves up for some analysis, which I'd rather not do I asked for their spam posts to be removed and they weren't so I have to do my duty.

First the thread is titled advice for newbies, now right away you should know that even if these people did give advice it's not worth listening to because they are unable to get into the mind of the newbie. The advice if they ever give any is for themselves, to big note themselves to portray themselves as people newbies should respect, actually let me digress for a minute here because I note the last post says I clearly think a lot of myself, that's true I do, but it wasn't meant in that way. Respect is an interesting concept.

Imbeciles demand respect and get shitty if they don't get it, but the thing is that it is not possible to demand respect, someone is respected or not sure you can force someone to 'show' respect, but that's not respect, the reverse is true too, someone could be an arsehole to you for your whole life but still have a respect that they'd never share.

Why do people demand respect, why do the posters below need to denigrate and spam my thread, because they are obviously insecure. Now I don't say this to brag it's just true, no one is going to look at anything I wrote and be able to say what's wrong with anything I've said, and my grows back up everything, and I'm still learning every grow.

It's very important to note that while not saying the post is not worth reading they don't say why. So clearly they are fcukheads, but I am obliged to keep that to myself and not call them out for the insecure little twats they are, because I could have got all this wrong so I say to them or any one of the cowards, please elaborate on why you would suggest newbies should not read this post, which after all is for them. If I get a genuine answer then I'll take back and apologise to them I'll give them a collective name, The Keepers of The Rabbit Hole.

Now everyone has this problem of self judgement a self conclusion but the really insecure need others to give them approval to shore themselves up. But here's the thing it doesn't matter, because you can't get away from yourself. The only way to have self respect is to be someone who is worthy of respect, in other words. It's tough I know, doing the right thing, not lying, not doing all those little things that gnaw away at you but that is because they don't know what they lose.

Even if God himself appeared before them all glowing with angels and everything, and the guy goes, 'wow, God it's you', and God says yes and I say, and I should know and you can't trust it when I say to you, in my eyes, you're perfectly fine you did the best you could with what you were given'. Even if god says that and it's also true the person would still think to himself, "yeah I get it you're God, you're just being kind because I know what a turd I am"

This is the fundamental human problem.

Check out what happens when stupid solicitors threaten people who can analyse, this is the most hilarious analysis I've seen, and that was partly because I was right there with him, you see it's not about Palmer, it's about the solicitors, however I can top his story with an even more incompetent series of events. The sent me a letter telling me what is going to happen I send them a letter telling them what is going to happen and pointing out it will be a lot worse if they make me go to court. They turned up at the tribunal three directors who fancied themselves as Essex Lads, all the staff, who had to come because I subpoenaed them and I had all they objections to appear overturned, I only asked for a couple of grand and by this stage they must have been well over that and that's before their expensive silk turned up to finish me off. I won't say the meat of this story but the silk came up to me and made me a finall offer.


I said to him that the offer was more than that by not much yesterday and I told them if they make me come to court it's going to be this much. He got up to walk away, and I said to him, "would you like to hear what my first question is going to be to my first witness" who is the one person there who will not perjure himself" he turned, I told him the question he walked away he came back and accepted my offer, which had to be finalised that very day.

How did this come to pass, well they engineered a fake redundancy now I spent five quid, on the inter webs and researched for weeks and I found a flaw in their meticulously planned redundancy, so it was going to fail on a few technicalities anyway. Then the bundle arrived. As you might know once the bundle is delivered that's it nothing can be taken out. this was in 2001 London and the lab where would have found the article as humorous as I did at the time https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819584210 anyway I opened the bundle and was surprised to see that in there and I burst out belly laughing and wailing at the utter utter fuckwittery of their solicitors. Because I didn't need my weeks of work, them putting that in which was pointless anyway, simply allowed me to ask the question I asked. The analysed that allowed that took in snippets of information spread over about 20 years, just a couple of throw away things a solicitor said to me and a few other coincidence, hardly anything just moments, but I strung them all together and fucked them over before we even walked through the door.

The point is that people who need to complain about detailed analysis because they are to dumb to understand what real thinking is, never develop these skills and I assure you that this is one of the most important life skills.

So the posters below have in fact made a valuable contribution to this thread and for them I genuinely say thanks.

I have had people say to me all my life I analyse stuff too much but it's all for the sake of clarity, so I've just shown that a single irrelevant page from a satirical site was added to the already mounting costs, and I used that same piece of paper that was meant to shaft me, to kill them before it even began. And the fact that they capitulated instantly is what I consider to be proof that I'm right.



Just read the OP, there is 5 minutes of my life I will never get back.
The OP likes to type and clearly thinks a lot of himself.
 
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yummy fur

Well-Known Member
Oh look Meta, posts the same thing, that points him out as the most insecure, because 1 it proves he has no answer, 2 it's proves he's still reading, prolly hoping for his mates to like his post to show solidarity. Come on big dogs, little dog needs some help. And the gif, it repeats, you go away but you come back you're so uninterested that you keep returning. You're so dumb you forget to see the meaning of your own gif.

You are Clive Palmer's solicitor and I claim my £5

Pro Tip: Newbies this is not for nothing, this is also part of what you need to learn as newbies, so you do not get intimidated.
 

davethepothead

Well-Known Member
The best newbie advice I can give is this shit takes time to get down. Your not going to grow high times cover worthy bud your first go round.

One of the best quotes I’ve seen from this site was many years ago...

“It’s easy to grow weed, it’s just not easy to grow good weed”
 
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