If you’re going to fuck up your buds, why not have fun with it? Like, attach two big fans to your hands and “bitch slap” your plants. How about a couple katanas? If that’s not your thing, maybe some “Valerian Steal”, or “Dragon Glass”? Maybe that isn’t your “thing”, try a “Light Saber”. I hear “Double-Ended” is all the rage, could hire Darth Maul to trim.
Seriously though, no machine can match our “surgical precision”.