Weed+Alcohol or other Addictions

steveK

Well-Known Member
Hello,I have been a long term smoker ,often daily for about 30 years now. I have also struggled with a serious alcohol problem which has has nearly ruined my life or so it seemed ,many times. Anyhow I gave up booze about 5 months ago,but just caved in twice last week,and got drunk. The second time was simply because I had a six pack in my room from the first time I drank.After I finished that I hit the bars for a few pints. I felt very hungover the next day and got very little done,so I decided to get back on the wagon right away. This time I really think I will make it ,since I know now that I can stay sober even though I still smoke weed. I may also quit smoking weed soon for a while just to give my lungs a break. Before though,once I became an "alcoholic", I thought I needed booze when I got high,but this was just a little voice in my head which may have been amplified simply because I was high. However I realize completely now from my experiences over the last 5 months that I dont need to listen to that stupid voice and I am perfectly capable to resist temptation just as much as anybody. I thought that it was important to post about this because I used to go to 12 step recovery programs like AA which would teach me that there was little chance I could get sober if I still smoked weed. In fact many people there probably regard it as the same thing or worse than alcohol. It is incredibly liberating to finally have a sense of control of my thoughts and actions that were essentially destroying my life.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
Im not even saying that I will never drink again by the way. I did sort of enjoy it,I just hated the way I felt in the morning and the fact I didnt want to work much at all that day. It made me respect alcohol in terms of what it does to my body,and my business since I am self employed. I also noticed however as I often do when I am hungover that my libido was in overdrive and the horny feeling only became more intense as the day went on . This was a welcome experience since I have been lacking in this lately and I was becoming concerned a bit about it. http://www.altpenis.com/penis_news/partying_penis.shtml
 

puffdamagikdragon

Well-Known Member
I think you mite need to get real with the real issue you may have with reality. I personally feel (and this is only my opinion) that most addictions stem from some pain that the addict doesn't wanna address, so we like to numb out.

If you don't deal with why you hafta numb out, you won't 'fix' the problem.


In my case it was trauma at a real early age. I still drink and smoke, but I don't HAVE to, and I don't do the hard shit I used to do. And if I am outta weed, the kids and hubby don't hafta walk on eggshells anymore. But I dealt with the root of the problem. Nobody really helped me, I managed to figure it out on my own with some help from the Kabbalah.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
I think you are right,and I also believe in a higher power which is helping to guide me through all of this with some kind of purpose. I am also considering quitting weed for a while just to show myself that I can do it. Right now I think I may be psychologically addicted to it,since I feel I need it as soon as I have my first cup of coffee in the morning.Then again sometimes I think I just really want it,and why wouldnt I after all it is weed? Speaking of coffee ,this is another addiction which I have and for me the two go hand in hand. This of course brings me back to my original post since I couldnt imagine smoking weed without booze at one time . Therefore I believe the success I have had with giving up the booze apart from this recent minor slip should give me the strength I'll need to quit or cut back smoking weed+caffeine. I have been seriously thinking about it since I have been such a chronic smoker for so long,and it too has had some negative effects on my life because of my obsession at times with it ,but still not as much as booze for sure .
 

puffdamagikdragon

Well-Known Member
Question you gotta answer is why do you need it?


I heard a very good life coach once say that all addicts had some real problem with reality, something they just cuddn't live with, and they indulged in thier addictions to avoid dealing with the subject they had such issue with.

Do you have any idea if that is what is buggin you?

Pm me if you are more comfortable that way. I have been there, I can help.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
I dont believe it has to be one single thing,in fact I think it is more about your attitude towards many things that may happen or have happened in your life. I also think that the older we get the more important it gets to accept the things we cannot not change. I think I am truly learning this concept . There have been way too may things about my past or the present for that matter that I wish were different to just choose one thing,so I just try and get up every day and start with a desire I become a better person somehow,or at least just put in a constructive day where I am taking care of my business so I can support myself and feel good about that bit of my life. There were times in my life when I was on welfare,and even times I had to steal so I could eat or drink,and thank God those days were very long ago,and I have developed some skills which have given me a certain amount of stability in life .
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
I said "a certain amount of stability" but this could be a poor choice of words because my life is really quite unstable at times. Some times Iam worried about rent,or I am behind in my shipping for my ebay,or I am behind in sleep,or I havent been eating well ,and so I guess if I had to pick one thing that is bugging me at times,its this constant struggle just to stay afloat, and keep healthy in body and mind. Of course I know that if I quit smoking weed I would save about $400 a month,and so have a much better chance of getting ahead or at least not falling behind all the time. One problem for me is that weed is everwhere in my neighbourhood,its like the Amsterdam of Canada in this part of Toronto. I walk by cafes everyday where people smoke legally,and I often go through parks where there is an abundance of weed being smoked or sold. Anyhow if I want to do it bad enough ,I guess I will,and if I dont then I guess I just didnt want it that bad. Anyhow Im getting ready to watch Obamas victory speech. I feel like going to a bar and having a few beers just for this reason,but I better not,after all Ive said here!
 

puffdamagikdragon

Well-Known Member
Kinda reminds me of when I got 'real' with myself.

I used to blame all my problems on everyone and everything else. I thought my problems with my mom were her fault, my problems with my kids were thier fault, my dad, hubby, friends I had quarrelled with - you name it. But I noticed there was a common element in ALL of my problems. Me.

Turns out it was all my fault. That was a bad thing, if I hadda decided to use this knowledge to further punish myself, and validate every bad thing everyone had ever thought of me, or I could realise that if I created it, then I am the one to fix it, too. I didn't hafta wait for my mom to become the perfect mom, my kids to become the perfect kids, my hubby, dad, you get the picture. So I first started to work on me, as a person, to be who I wanted to be.

Now, I never have had a problem with drinking, tho I am not fond of mean, nasty drunks, nor do I have a problem with smoke. So becoming who I really wanted to be FOR ME didn't mean having to give up these things. Sometimes now we can't afford it, and I hafta do without. If I get tense, I remind myself it isn't really the situation, just me being bitchy cuz I am outta weed, and I apologize to whomever I mitta snapped at and get over it.

The Kabbalah taught me accountability, and gave me a stable core in my being that can withstand anything, now. I am pretty much the same person, I don't let stress, or other people's opinions, or anything else change that core.

You need to develop a strong core. It really helps.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
thanks for the support puff,I agree with what you are saying. I also think though that it is important simply to realize how badly my drinking was messing up my life,body and mind. I think I am finally at that point. I am soo sick of hangovers,and the way my mind can barely think straight after a night of boozing and little sleep. Ususally I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would ofetn drink and watch tv for a few hours or more until I fell back asleep if I in fact did. Even if I smoke weed all day,I will usually cut back at night,and usually get to sleep ok without waking up with the cold sweats.
 

Louis541

Well-Known Member
Seems to me like you never fell off. If you spend the rest of your life avoiding booze, then you are never really over it. It still controls you. But if you only indulge every once in a while (Twice in 5 months is not bad at all, if you enjoy drinking.) Just don't let it become a habit again. Life is too short to not enjoy it. Have fun every now and then, just be sure to take chaser before you do. Just don't go out of your way to be drunk, and you should be fine.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
Yes I think you are right Christine,and thanks for the comments. I just want to point out though that my main purpose of starting this thread was to show how weed has and can still help me to achieve my goal of quitting or greatly reducing my drinking . I think I used to be just like many alcoholics and when I smoked weed invariably the idea of drinking would surface usually sooner than later .Then I would blame my relapses on the fact that I was high .Therefore I was just setting myself up for failure every time I smoked weed. Now that I have gotten over this major hurdle in my mind,I now can see that anything is possible . I am sure that others have had similar experiences ,but for me it seems like the revelation I have been waiting for my whole life. I simply had to want it bad enough and to totally realize that booze causes far more stress in my life than it relieves at least when I abuse it.
 

koolhand77

Well-Known Member
As I find this thread I can only think of a few things to mention. I use to be a self called alcoholic. Stayed sober for many years. AA taught me alot about life and how to grow up. Stayed sober through my 20's fucking sucked. Finding whats healthy for you and what's not is what it's all about it. The search for inner enlightenment. finding out what makes you tick. Life on life's terms is a bitch. I don't run from my problems and I don't hide from them behind booze or weed. I am gonna quote the Big Book. "Liquor is but a symptom" I needed to look at myself and find out what made me want to get fucked up. now today I can take it or leave it. Weed has become my meds. I don't want to be put under any white coat dope life style being all fucked up on meds 24 hours a day. I live life on lifes terms and have a little smoke or drink at the end of the day to let it all go. Somedays i don't even have anything. It's what works for you and how you come to terms with your own mind. Steve Don't take your self to serious. My life is but a journey to where I end up I don't know but if you need to put down eveything it will be hard and if you have to go to meetings and listen to some of the greatest stories I have ever herd then that my friend might be your journey. Enjoy the ride cause it's a bummpy one.
 

puffdamagikdragon

Well-Known Member
Kool hand is right.

We are raised in a society that teaches that things that you have no control over makes you a bad person. Being poor is bad, being unemployed is bad, being female or a minority is bad, catch my drift? So, when things aren't going so well we start a cycle of self destruction. You hafta learn to stop letting the ideas and 'beliefs' of others rule you, you hafta get you head up and you can see you ain't so bad. If you don't kill, and use guns to steal, and rape and molest and shit like that, you ain't bad. I think deep inside you don't like something about yourself, and perhaps it is your having an addiction that makes you feel bad. If that is so, perhaps a hiatus would be a good idea, to clean out and get your head together.

Like I said, Steve, I have been there and can really help, pm me if you ever need to talk. Don't worry about no stupid shit like 'bothering' me or anything, I went thru what I went thru, it was bad, but I came out the other end with a better understanding, and more empathy. If I can help someone else, it was all worth it, so when you reach out to me for help in turn it helps me to realize there really WAS a higher reason I went thru what I did. I had some bad shit happen to me as a child, and I know what it is like to go thru life somehow cursed when you never did anything. If there is anyway I can help, I would really be happy to.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the comments guys. Still not drinking ,with no desire either. This feels great with no hangover on a Sunday,and I think I will get a lot done today.Still thinkin about quittin the weed though,since I could get a lot more done some days and save some bucks at the same time,which is definitely one of my big concerns right now. Im down to two pairs of pants,but one has a hole in one knee so I guess its more like one. I will have some cash coming in this week from ebay but that will be already accounted for with my weekly rent for my room ,monthly rent at my storage locker,and maybe a new pair of pants.Of course there are other daily expenditures like food coffee ,and uhm weed? Hopefully I have made my point . I can appreciate what you are saying about AA koolhand. I was sober for nearly 7 years at one time,and never smoked weed either.However something was missing after a while and I found the meetings were all the same and repetitive after a while. Yes I heard many amazing stories there ,and will even admit I was able to change my life around quite a bit after staying sober for a while. However I still have a lot that I disagree with about AA,which would take way too long to explain in this post,so I dont want to even bother especially now on this Sunday morning. I think you know though what they would think about the way you or myself are living though. I am sure you heard the saying in AA "stick with the winners" for example . If I or you showed up at a meeting and spoke the truth about your attitude and use of weed and booze,do you really think we would be those winners they would want to associate with? I dont think so. Therefore the idea of going to AA would be like tossing aside everything said on this thread so far .

thanks for the comments puff I certainly do relate,and thanks for offering to help me through private emails but there is nothing I really would say to you that I wouldnt say here,so I dont really see the point to that . Hope you and everyone else reading this has a great day though.
 

koolhand77

Well-Known Member
Steve I couldn't agree more with you about the bullshit that gets thrown around those rooms. I like to stick with the people that are real. I found alot of controversy in the way things were done in the halls. Alot Of AA is stemed from religion when they say that there not religious ahhhh thats another conversation. glad to hear your doing well this morning hope today is great day for ya. I here you about waking up with no hangover. had a couple drinks last night and woke up to go the bath room I could feel a headach starting took some motrin glass of water and back to bed. woke up feeling great. I really hate the side affects to alcohol. have a perfect one bro...
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
Thanks Koolhand,Im too tired to talk much about AA ,but I hear ya. I definitely had a good day,got alot done,and bought some decent records I can sell on ebay and elsewhere. I might have enough for two pairs of jeans now,and maybe a pair of shoes too! I am planning to have a very productive week ,and hopefully it will work out that way,but I know life can always be full of surprises even when we are trying our hardest to make progress. Anyhow glad to know you didnt have a hangover either today,and hope you have a great week. Maybe others who have been in AA ,or who had or are having problems with an alcohol demon will add something to this thread as well sometime.
 

steveK

Well-Known Member
Honestly Im sick off pussyfootin around on this ,since I think people that drink alot are really f'd up if only for the reason that they are supporting an industry that through its product kills more people per year than almost any other through health implications,auto or other accidents ,or violent deaths by criminal acts. As I said earler I am not saying I will never drink again,but I sure hope to God I never go back to the way I used to drink,and I really dont think I will since I now can really appreciate being sober,even though I am often about as high on weed as I can be .
 

koolhand77

Well-Known Member
A-men man jesus I hate the after affects of booze. fucking horible shit man. Weed is definetly so much better. I really don't like the way some alcohol makes me feel. I love the fact that I don't have to drink it if I don't want to. I don't need it I can have a few beers or a good mixed drink but, in no way do I need it.Thank christ. So cheers to that Steve. lol
 
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