Pop can? Apple? I don't really think that's low, though.
I did steal weed from a guy once. Yes, stealing is wrong, I know.A few weeks before this incident,this guy got so fucked up he passed out at a table at the bar.His money fell out of his pocket, I put it back in for him.
Now, for the theft: My brother's girlfriend and I were at the same bar a few weeks later...I think I was celebrating my birthday late or something. This same guy had kind of a thing for me.I wasn't interested in him that way, but I still treated him like a human being. When closing time came around, he said there was an awesome party to be had at his house,and there would be plenty of "party favors." By party favors, I mean "drugs."
So we agreed to accompany him.He was so drunk,my friend drove. We got to his house.It became apparent as time wore on that "party" meant just the three of us and his special guest, "Roamin' Hands." And "party favors" meant some beer and about a quarter of stemmy weed.It did the job, though.
So my brother's girlfriend got pretty drunk and ended up on the kitchen floor on a mattress. I ended up in this guy's room fending off clumsy attempts at seduction while I smoked his weed.
After a couple of hours, we told him we wanted to go home. He kept putting us off. We couldn't walk it, it was about a 20 mile hike. Shitfaced the Magnificent sneaked into the kitchen as I smoked on his bed and attempted a clumsy seduction on my friend. She immediately got up and said, "I want to see Stoney" (obviously, I'm not using my real name),as he attempted to shush her and corner her.
I came in and said, "What's up?" and he knocked it off.
So then he goes in and passes out on his bed. We repeatedly asked to be taken home. He kept insisting, "Just a couple hours of sleep."
Finally, we said fuck it,and we prepared to go. He had left his weed sitting out on his desk.She and I looked at one another,and we did not need to even speak;this shit head would pay for his stupidity with weed.
Into my pocket it went,and I also took four dollars that was laying on his nightstand so we could give it to someone for a ride.After all, he should pay for that, too,we figured.
We announced that we were going,and he got up (It was near dawn)and said, "No, I'll take you, I'll take you."
When we got in the car, he stopped at a "friend's" house and tried to get us to go in there with him because his friend liked to party. Yeah, I've seen that movie,and I think a ball gag and sodomy was involved. We insisted he take us home, or we would walk. Finally,he did.
We smoked all of his weed. I never saw him again.
Now, before I get a lecture, yes, I know stealing is wrong, and stealing weed is really wrong,and I'm not attempting to justify it. But lying and molesting are wrong, too. Just sayin'.