Random, funny, weird, or just stupid stories.

[Vermilion]

What inspired me to make this thread was remembering when I was SUPER stoned out of my mind last summer with some of my friends. It was about 2:00 am, and one of us decides to go outside. Our main source of fun was the hose, we made a mini river with it in my former garden patch (which is just a big patch of dirt now)

So a shit load of night crawlers started popping out of their holes and we're like "oh FUCK yeah!" So I take one and put it on top of my central air conditioner which was on, and the fan was spinning. The worm decides "hey, I'm gonna randomly slither thru these ridges!" and the fan chopped that fucker up good. It was so god damn loud that my dog started barking. Oh my god we were laughing so hard that I fell face first into the river we made. I pulled my head out and my face was completely caked with mud with a nightcrawler making it's way up my nose. That provoked even more laughter and my friends started falling in the mud too. Soon night crawlers were all over us. We were so stoned that we didn't even care that we were covered in mud and night crawlers. This lasted for what seemed like hours. My stoner neighbor who knows we smoke bud looks out his window, pops his head out and just pops it back in. Almost like he was thinking "oh its just those stoner kids next door on another adventure, back to sleep!" After that we decided to go inside.

And when we went back inside, we realized we were only outside for a half hour LOL.

 

[ToastyBowlDropper]

LOL. Thats pretty funny. I love outdoor stoner adventures! Nothing better than walking with no aim, passing a joint (or what have you...) along the way.

My boyfriend and I went for a long walk with our friend Paul once. We have some Salvia, and some pretty good weed. It came dark, and we were at this park on the lake shore. And there's a small island a little ways out, maybe 1/4 mile.

so we're high and plotting to come back tomarrow and swim to the island, or do it tonight and sleep on the island. (This was common talk by the way, we were kind of like, 3 wanderers). in the end we decided to smoke the salvia and relax, and decide later (it was only 9pm.) We're all trippin out, and i always trip hard on salvia for at least 30 minutes. My friend Paul became, in my head, a clown... whom for some reason i thought i could not look away from, because if i did, he'd eat me. and my boyfriend was like a total stranger to me. i had no idea why he was here of all places.

so here i am, watching my frind paul like a hawk, and trying to figure out why my boyfriend was with us. eventually paul became himself and we were all still high, so we laughed about what we were thinking about...passed out, and woke up in a different local park all together.

so ends my incredibly long and rambling story...

oh and we did eventually go out to the island. we high-jacked a canoe from the appartments on the shore, rowed ourselves out with all our fishing gear and fished the whole day. than we had a good dinner on the lake shore and returned the canoe, no questions asked.

hope you enjoyed my ranting!

 

[billybob]

When I was a in middle school we had to show up for the last day of school and a lot of teachers had left the building during school hours because they did not care. There was this paper airplane that was stuck in the ceiling and we tried taking it down with a basketball. One of the teachers saw are michevous behavior and kick us out. Just as I was leaving I turned around to talked to someone while I reached for the door. I grabbed onto the door and something felt odd. I turned to see what I was grabbing and it was this girl I knew. She did not say anything except look horrified/surprised. What did I do? I said, "Sorry I thought you were the door." and then I left.

I have another one. I knew this rustic fellow from the country who had a beaver dam problem. The way he fixed it was to take a backhoe, rip off the top of the den, scoop up the beavers, and then drop them into the water before demolishing their dam!

 

[Smirgen]

One of my funny/stupid stories starts when several years ago my younger brother and I go out for some late night Fast Food munchies (after getting blazed) hes driving the car and we are in a great giggly mood and we go to a "whataburger" to get some bacon cheeseburgers ...after giving the dude our order he says through the speaker "Do you want to "whatasize" (similar to Mcdonalds "supersize") your order ? and me and my brother just look at each other and started laughing our asses off for like 30 seconds I guess because of how stupid "whatasize" sounds and we are laughing so hard for so long my brother just floors it and drives off because he knows he wont be able to keep a straight face if we drive up to the window, well we go to at least 3 other fast food places that night and when they ask for our order we bust up into laughing again because we are blasted and also because of all the stupid names of food items on the menu like "cheesarito" and "Whopper", after about 4 different laughter outbursts and drive offs we finally calmed down enough to order with a straight face , but not at those places.

Thinking about that still makes me laugh, God I love Weed

 

[SuperDaveJr712]

You guys gotta make shorter stories.
I was trying to steal a street sign out of the gorund when it came off the top of the pole and fell on my head, cracking it open. Me and my friend had to walk a mile before we hitched a ride home. I was bleeding everywhere. We were sober.
Crazy story. lol.

 

[SmokinPurp]

To make a long story short: I was at a huge party out in the woods: 1 way in, 1 way out. There were about 150 people there when the cops showed up... weed, coke, x, everything was out there. People scattered in the woods (like me) and didn't come out until the next morning... come to find out, some dickhead had jacked the lights off an old cop car and put it on his... siren and everything... scared the shit out of everyone...

 

[Masterchafed]

Ah, while we are telling stories, I guess I will tell the tale of the first time I got stoned.

My friends and I had been blazin all day on some swag, nothing seemed to work for me (this was my first time) i mean, we did the bong, the pipe, everything, then we busted out the joint. about 5 minutes after a couple hits off that baby, and I was on my ass on his couch.

Well, after shifting in and out of reality, we figured we get some food from his kitchen, we ended up eating waffles and damn they were good. Things kept seeming a bit wierd to me though, i kept feeling as though I was at my house, but then I would look around and I wasn't. The last thing I remeber while being over there was when my friend asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee, I said sure, and in my head a voice said (inner monologue ) "Then Rob made coffee". I sat there for about 30 minutes wondering why the hell I would have said that in my head, it was crazy. I guess I then blacked out because the next thing I remember, I'm at home sitting on the couch in the living room talking to my parents. It was some crazy sh!t. Nothing like your first time being stoned.

 

[Vermilion]

Ah, while we are telling stories, I guess I will tell the tale of the first time I got stoned.

My friends and I had been blazin all day on some swag, nothing seemed to work for me (this was my first time) i mean, we did the bong, the pipe, everything, then we busted out the joint. about 5 minutes after a couple hits off that baby, and I was on my ass on his couch.

Well, after shifting in and out of reality, we figured we get some food from his kitchen, we ended up eating waffles and damn they were good. Things kept seeming a bit wierd to me though, i kept feeling as though I was at my house, but then I would look around and I wasn't. The last thing I remeber while being over there was when my friend asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee, I said sure, and in my head a voice said (inner monologue ) "Then Rob made coffee". I sat there for about 30 minutes wondering why the hell I would have said that in my head, it was crazy. I guess I then blacked out because the next thing I remember, I'm at home sitting on the couch in the living room talking to my parents. It was some crazy sh!t. Nothing like your first time being stoned.

How the hell did you end up at home? And by the way, my first time stoned we ate waffles too. We didn't have any butter or syrup though. But the first time I got high it was off some cheap shit. But since it was my first time, I could barely support myself some times.