dannyboy602
Well-Known Member
the adult has become the child and the child refuses to become the adult. all it can bring is misery and some more springer episodes as if the world needs more of that.
went nuclear on family last night for good reason though
- Thread starter clownfreak9000
- Start date
blowincherrypie
Well-Known Member
The only thing worse than a POS accusing you of some shit you didn't do... is when that person is a family member. Sorry to hear it, but next time try not to go to the crib. NOTHING good can come from it.
I am saying two wrongs do not a right make. Intervention and an adult setting of limits is the way to handle it. Because if he doesn't act like an adult she co-opts his limit setting as illness or a wrong against her and the entire situation devolves. Someone has to act like an adult. I'm suggesting it be ClownFreak. I don't think he's bad. I think he's at the end of his rope. I simply provided an alternative that when followed may grant him peace and possibly get his mother to introspect.
Because attacking someone gets you nowhere. Trust me I've tried that. I think you all have witnessed it.
clownfreak9000
Well-Known Member
She's an addict she has outright said it. I'm going idk yet wat to do. if i called dr and let him no she's addicted enough to pull stunts like that would they ween her off? if so i will prolly go with that.
she can't liike me ne less and if it helps then she will just have to hate me for helping
iand i never said i had no place to stay... i?n fact i said i live with my friend.
she can't liike me ne less and if it helps then she will just have to hate me for helping
iand i never said i had no place to stay... i?n fact i said i live with my friend.
minnesmoker
Well-Known Member
Yer wrong! Math will prove this:
1 wrong creates a problem.
-1
a second wrong (-1) multiplies the problem.
-1*-1
The result is a positive.
1
Two wrongs make a right.
OP, dude, you obviously have enough of a relationship with your mom that you have regular and frequent access... So, man up, she's in the shit and needs help.
Hepheastus420
Well-Known Member
First off, sorry if i came off a little dickish.. wasn't intended.. forgive me annie!
Secondly, I wasn't questioning your advice as I think it's great. I was wondering why you (and plenty of others) are shocked when somebody insults a blood relative when none of us know clownfreaks mom personally. Being shocked that he insulted her,without much knowledge of her parenting skills, shows me that you believe she deserves respect and care only because she's blood related. Beyond being blood related, I haven't seen much that would show me that she deserves her son's respect.
I probably should have just said nothing lol.. or said it in random jibber as I don't want to hijack this thread with an off-topic discussion. It's just always bothered me when people think they deserve more just because they're related by blood.
back on topic..
I think getting her help would be one of the nicest things you can do for your mom. It's also clear to see that she's more than just another person in your life, she means something to you. Otherwise this would not bother you. I'm guessing she had to do something in your life that made you grow feelings for her, and if that's the case, I really think you should get her moving in the right direction. Addiction is never a choice, so just know she doesn't want to be in the position that she's in. And I'm sure the drugs are taking role in how she's acting towards you. So like c2g is saying, don't get mad at her anymore. take the higher road. And yeah.. it's up to you to be the adult and it's up to you to help your mom better her life.
So she's hooked on prescription drugs then? If she's getting them from an outside source, calling the doc won't help. But yeah, if she's getting them from a prescription, you may wanna call up the doc. ONLY if what you're saying is the truth and that she's acting out in anger consistently. She's gonna need alot of patience and care from you if you want to help, if anything, at least you know you tried your best.
beuffer420
Well-Known Member
well if she recognizes she is an addict that's one step in the right direction, but the choice for help must be made by her not forced. If I found out you called my doc and got me cut off what I was addicted to my addict mind would know no bounds towards you. Almost would make the matter worse. Plus there's many of docs who would just fill the same prescription anywho.
As far as the can't like you any less. I'm sure deep down, aside from the addict person who is present in your mother ATM, she loves you. You also can't say you don't care because if you didn't care or love her and none of this bothered you, then none of the above you wrote would be present on this forum. Which you should care in the first place, that woman gave you life, there's just a bond there at work regardless if you feel it or not.
Drugs alter our thinking, but to the user we still think we are normal in our thought process, it's just a double edged sword. Kinda damned if you do damned if you don't type stuff. Just be supportive towards her and gently try to show her she is making her life hell along with other lives who are around her.
tip top toker
Well-Known Member
Addictions don't quite work like that.. ever tried to force an alcoholic to stop drinking?
Unclebaldrick
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I wouldn't involve yourself with her Dr., just hearing that she is addicted will put the Dr. in a spot where he will pretty much have to cut her off. This has been my experience at least.
Two issues I see. First, you going off on her. I totally know where you are coming from. Sometimes you get pushed too far and strike back. You have two basic choices, strike back or take it from her. My first reaction is to strike back as well. But it doesn't help. You get a little bit of relief but then you are stuck with all the residual feelings of guilt and shame that result from tearing a family member a new asshole. No matter how much you want to, don't react the way you did. The feelings you get from self restraint will offset the crap she's giving you.
Second, can you help your mum with her addiction in some other way? Does she want off of it or has it become a lifelong thing? Patches are very very strong and she's going to need help getting off. I'm a big believer in methadone for some people. Is it a possibility.
When you attack your mum, you attack yourself. Find that joint and smoke it before reacting next time. Best thing for both of you.
Two issues I see. First, you going off on her. I totally know where you are coming from. Sometimes you get pushed too far and strike back. You have two basic choices, strike back or take it from her. My first reaction is to strike back as well. But it doesn't help. You get a little bit of relief but then you are stuck with all the residual feelings of guilt and shame that result from tearing a family member a new asshole. No matter how much you want to, don't react the way you did. The feelings you get from self restraint will offset the crap she's giving you.
Second, can you help your mum with her addiction in some other way? Does she want off of it or has it become a lifelong thing? Patches are very very strong and she's going to need help getting off. I'm a big believer in methadone for some people. Is it a possibility.
When you attack your mum, you attack yourself. Find that joint and smoke it before reacting next time. Best thing for both of you.
srh88
Well-Known Member
i feel you clown freak.. wasnt raised by my mom.. she dipped off and had fun with meth for like 10 years when i was a kid.. then she tried coming back and saying my dad wouldnt let her around us and shit. so my dad showed me the paperwork when i was over 18. got tired of her lying to me and my brothers about where she was and who she really is. i still dont talk to the bitch.. so atleast youre giving your mom the time of day lol..
i have talked to her once, when my little brother got in a bad crash, he was nodding out behind the wheel and he was living with her. so i called her after i found out because she was the only one close enough to see him in the hospital.. she told me he was a "recreational heroin user" and she knew about it.. blah blah blah.. i just told her im going to shoot her. im serious too lol. just lazy i guess.. havent been up there yet
i have talked to her once, when my little brother got in a bad crash, he was nodding out behind the wheel and he was living with her. so i called her after i found out because she was the only one close enough to see him in the hospital.. she told me he was a "recreational heroin user" and she knew about it.. blah blah blah.. i just told her im going to shoot her. im serious too lol. just lazy i guess.. havent been up there yet
gR33nDav3l0l
Well-Known Member
Yes, with some Disulfiram and a bunch of nurses.
Fun times.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
So sad but so true. The impulse to quit, and to stay quit, must come from within the addict. Nothing else works. The rest of us on the outside, with our intentions and advice and wishes and collateral casualties, are spectators. That's important for us spectators to never forget.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
or so you imagine; bwahahahaaaYer wrong! Math will prove this:
1 wrong creates a problem.
-1
a second wrong (-1) multiplies the problem.
-1*-1
The result is a positive.
1
Two wrongs make a right.
OP, dude, you obviously have enough of a relationship with your mom that you have regular and frequent access... So, man up, she's in the shit and needs help.
beuffer420
Well-Known Member
Its very important for sure! There's who you are, and who you became while using...who you are, will always hear the people trying to help you, wants to grab for help, but the person you became while using sees that act of caring as an act of war. The user has a mission above all things to accomplish and everyone else is just there. It's like this cosmic balance in your mind has to take place and you have to recognize you have a dark side that has to co exist with who you really are. It's only someone who wants that balance back in there life that will take the steps to make it happen. All the force in the world cannot make that just happen, it's almost just realized one day by the user. A lightbulb moment of epic proportions you could say lol. You have to except you love getting high, also at the same time you have to except your life is not controllable when u use. It's just sounds complicated to write it even lol