NorthofEngland
Well-Known Member
I am pleased to announce the sale of several authentic, miracle producing relics on offer to the general public.
Because it is well established that 21st Century believers are the most informed of peoples we feel assured that most devout Christians will accept the authenticity of these items, and their ability to cure ailments such as blindness, without questioning the all mighty and becoming blasphemous unbelievers.
CHRIST'S FINGER BONES
(available individually - limited to the first 13 buyers)
Particularly good at lessening sinful urges in teenage daughters, the Christ's Finger Bone collection is a must for any true believer.
SAINT CHRISTOPHER'S STAFF FRAGMENTS
(each fragmented numbered - limited to the first 200 buyers)
Never fear long journeys again! A St Christopher's Staff Fragment will ensure a safe journey
(why not also buy a Saint Winifred's Scalp Flake - to ensure nice weather when you arrive at your destination?)
TEETH FROM THE VIRGIN MARY
Each tooth miraculously preserved, these highly sought after relics have a purchase price that befits an object that adorned the mouth of the saviours Virgin Mother.
(Available in canine, molar and pre-molar - limited to 6 per any one person).
These relics guarantee miracles, as well as a place in heaven, so they are obviously extremely valuable items.
Only a sin ridden, unbeliever would question their authenticity or their price.
If YOU KNOW that GOD EXISTS then YOU KNOW that YOU CAN AFFORD to buy one of his relics.
Price on application,
Bulk orders negotiated
Combined orders receive discounted postage.
This once in a lifetime offer was brought to you from The Prophets Profit Company of Burkina-Faso (Ltd)
Because it is well established that 21st Century believers are the most informed of peoples we feel assured that most devout Christians will accept the authenticity of these items, and their ability to cure ailments such as blindness, without questioning the all mighty and becoming blasphemous unbelievers.
CHRIST'S FINGER BONES
(available individually - limited to the first 13 buyers)
Particularly good at lessening sinful urges in teenage daughters, the Christ's Finger Bone collection is a must for any true believer.
SAINT CHRISTOPHER'S STAFF FRAGMENTS
(each fragmented numbered - limited to the first 200 buyers)
Never fear long journeys again! A St Christopher's Staff Fragment will ensure a safe journey
(why not also buy a Saint Winifred's Scalp Flake - to ensure nice weather when you arrive at your destination?)
TEETH FROM THE VIRGIN MARY
Each tooth miraculously preserved, these highly sought after relics have a purchase price that befits an object that adorned the mouth of the saviours Virgin Mother.
(Available in canine, molar and pre-molar - limited to 6 per any one person).
These relics guarantee miracles, as well as a place in heaven, so they are obviously extremely valuable items.
Only a sin ridden, unbeliever would question their authenticity or their price.
If YOU KNOW that GOD EXISTS then YOU KNOW that YOU CAN AFFORD to buy one of his relics.
Price on application,
Bulk orders negotiated
Combined orders receive discounted postage.
This once in a lifetime offer was brought to you from The Prophets Profit Company of Burkina-Faso (Ltd)
