i decided to go with alprazolam. a friend of mine gets lorazepam and will give me them anytime i want. this way i get both except only 1 legally. i've always been responsible with using them. never once have i taken so much that i dont remember what i did the next day unlike many of my friends LOL. the worst for me was playing a video game and no remembering walking into bed when i was already real tired. i dont understand why some doctors give them for people to take everyday. i dont even really feel anything if i take it the next day unless i up the dose. keep doing that as time goes on and we all know the dangers that can happen.
i like them for 2 reason. 1 if im having a very stressful day, everything is either taking a shit on me or a bunch of little things piss me off. you know some asshole on the road pulls out in front and you gotta slam on your breaks almost causing an accident. heart races and feels like a heart attack. going 5 mph under the speed limit because the roads are bad and some asshole flys by in there 4 wheel drive piece of shit looking truck waving his finger. then you get to work and the few retards there(good people otherwise just not very smart sometimes) seem to be almost completely useless. it's stressful and not only thinking about it repetitively but picking up other people's slack really affects my performance at work. i just take a pill and i feel like none of it bothers me anymore. by the end of the day/night everything works out before i go to sleep, most of the time.
i also find a little bit of a higher dose to work very well with any kind of phobias or fears. if you have a surgery say and you are really scared about it, even cancer procedures, benzos work great to give courage.
i wonder if they ever use them in the military. if you dose properly, you will not have much fear of anything but at the same time, dont dose too high and you won't be too sedated to affect eprformance.