Jokes!jokes!jokes!!!!!

[REDJELLYNINJA]

Pierre the famous French fighter pilot is finally returning from war to see his beautiful wife Jacqueline. As soon as she see's him she starts to feel a little horny and say's
"Oh Pierre, you have been away such a long time and it has been so long since you kissed me , will you please kiss me?"
Pierre looks her straight in the eyes and say's
"Iam Pierre ze famous French fighter pilot, of course i shall kiss you"
With that he picks up a bottle of red wine and pours it over her mouth before giving her the most passionate kiss she has ever had.
"Oh Pierre that was amazing, but why the red wine?"
"Iam Pierre ze famous French fighter pilot and when i have red meat i have red wine!"
Feeling a little more turned on by this she then say's
"Pierre it has been oh so long since you kissed my breasts. Will you please kiss my breasts?"
"Iam Pierre ze famous French fighter pilot, of course i shall kiss your breasts." he replies.
With that he picks up a bottle of white wine and pours it over her breasts before kissing and fondling them."
"Oh Pierre that was amazing, but why ze white wine?"
"Iam Pierre ze famous French fighter pilot and when i have white meat i have white wine!"
Feeling even more turned on by this she then say's
"Pierre it has been oh so long since you licked my pussy. Will you please lick my pussy?"
"Iam Pierre ze famous French fighter pilot, of course i shall lick your pussy."
With that he picks up a bottle of brandy and pours it over her pussy and sets it alight before going down on her."
Jacqueline is amazed at how good this feels and starts to arch her back in a state of ecstacy.
Once she has climaxed and finally regained her senses and the power of speech she sits up and says to Pierre.
"Oh my god Pierre that was truly amazing, it was fantastic but i don't understand, why ze brandy? Why ze fire??"
"Iam Pierre ze famous French fighter pilot" he replies "and when i go down, i go down in flames!!!!!!"

 

[REDJELLYNINJA]

nobody else got jokes to share then????

whats black and blue and doesn't like sex??

 

[REDJELLYNINJA]

nobody else got jokes to share then????

whats black and blue and doesn't like sex??

the little boy in my cupboard!!

 

[guitarman7311]

Why did the polacks stop makin ice cubes. Cause the old lady with the receipie died. Hardy har har !!

 

[Budsworth]

What do ya call a mexican with a rubber toe???????????????????????Roberto

 

[FluffyToke]

damn, the first joke was dope as FUCK. I laughed for like... 2 minutes, it was sweet.
I guess I have a joke or two...
what do you call a fat man wearing a sportbra? fatty fat fat.

 

[Bearhosh]

The boss of a small company realizes that he's been losing business and money lately (probably the recession) and that he's gotta lay one of his two employees off if he wants to stay in business. He's pretty upset about this because both Jack and Mary are great employees that have been with his company for a long time. Finally, he decides to just fire whoever drinks out of the water cooler first, thinking that that's pretty fair.

Now Mary, who I mentioned earlier, went partying the previous night and stumbled into work early in the morning with a monster hangover. After she pops a couple of aspirin, she wobbles over to the water cooler to get a drink of cool, refreshing water. Just as she's about to drink, her boss walks over and says, "Sorry, Mary, but I'm gonna have to lay you or Jack off". Mary replies, "Well, could you please go jack off, 'cause I feel like shit!"