I hid something up my butt once......now i have colitis and irritable bowel syndrome. I highly recommend another option. Let me think.......
I got it. Buy a coathanger tube (yeah, the one in the closet where one slides into the other. you may need to put hair around the bigger pipe before you can slide the smaller pipe IN). Stick al yer rolled up loot in there ya gangsta's!! No one will ever find it. Another good one: take apart a tv,...wait maybe that's not such a good idea. Ok, i got it. Roll up all those andrew jacksons, my brutha, and slide them into the chambers of yer six-shooters. The rozzers ull never find em!!!! Oh, carry the shell cartridges in your pocket. You never know when you might need to load the gun, especialluy in 'Murka.
Seriously, some of these guys on riu are just to easy to lampoon. ok, now that i've had a laugh, and to prove i'm not a total a-hole, i will dispense some gems. Cops and robbers look for the obvious. Medications not safe for kids, Safes are Greatttttttt!!!!!! For c n r, not so good. usually they hold a gun to your head and make you open it. you are so rattled you fuck it up, they get angry, decide to off you and now your effin dead. They take safe to ye locale safecracker and give hime 2k for opening the safe. Someone's richer and your mutilated or dead.
I know how to drywall and plaster. in a past life, as a wage slave for a capitalist pig, i acquired many construction skills. I can hide $10, 000, 000 in the averaged bungalow/ranch house. Guess what? Any guy like me can come along and find it given enough time/ ruthlessness. In my book, the safest place for money is: a) buried in a 50 gallon plastic drum after having been vacuum-sealed by you and buried by you, with no witnesses and b) in a bank, far, far away. Not in another galaxy, however, but offshore. Learn currency limits. Go on vacation. Get bank account. Deposit $. Never tell gov't that issues you a passport of the existence of said account. If you believe i've been helpful: think happy thoughts about me and tell your buddies here KES isn't an a-hole just a stoner with a fucked up sense of humour. If you feel I'm still an a-hole, lob tomatoes, shit or whatever else comes to mind. Either way, it's all good my bruthas............
kill em softly
let it rip