Recent Break-up

[Dr.J20]

Whats up bro u feeling better yet?

slow process, it was a longer relationship so it'll be a while before i'm back up to 100% but you know how it goes, strikes and gutters.. thanks for the check in buddy

 

[st0wandgrow]

Bla...bla...bla...

The world does not care about you or your dopey GF issues...
Grow up...

The issue with the relationship was you... it's your fault you feel bad...

Waaaaaa-waaaaaa....

This is a public forum.... you fucked up a relationship, and then you want what from a bunch of us?

What ever you wanted, you will get none of it from me....
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Now, too late to fix this one... I am the fixer, do this, in a relationship, and you will never fail... your partner may fail, but you wont....
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My Rules of Life
#1-Your partner always comes first...
#2-Treat your partner how you want to be treated...
#3-Trust your partners word, like it is the word of gawd....
#4-NEVER sweat the small stuff-Let you partner make all the choices in life... never argue her choice...
#5-Every Day... do something Unexpected, that is only for your partner's pleasure...
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Most likely, you and or your partner were both selfish....
Quit putting self first, and you will be growing old very happy....

#6-Be kind to others. The world is full of opinionated assholes already

 

[Hookabelly]

Well hello there you miserable cunt, glad to see you actually read the post you were responding to, and then went on to presume to know the relationship about which you are giving advice. Sweet rules too, did those work for you last semester when susie wanted to hold your hand in home room?
Posting a list you lifted from an old Oprah re-run that includes such meaninglessness as "do something unexpected for your partner's pleasure," "your partner always comes first," ",let your partner make all the choices in life" belie how little experience you have in a complicated, adult relationship. Furthermore, any set of rules that contains "always," "never," and "every day" is doomed to fail, because it requires a degree of consistency that is utterly impossible for a human individual.
So, for example, if my partner always comes first, and I'm working on some research that is due in the morning, and she comes home upset because a colleague made her feel stupid, and she needs to have a 3 hour whine about the whole fiasco, I should sit there and comfort her, listen to her, make sure her negative emotions are quelled, and risk losing my position because I failed to complete my work?
And number 2, treat your partner how you would want to be treated: if the two of you aren't compatible for the long term, doing this does nothing but precipitates the end of the relationship--you see, some relationships fail because they should, not because there was something wrong that needed to be fixed, you fucktard.

Anywho, this was fun, probably get deleted for the 'name calling' but whatever, got to blow off some steam and waste a minute or two.
be easy

At first I got sucked into the list and though it sounded reasonable, but then you're right, "always' and "never" are doomed to failure most of the time. I agree w/ your #2, and what I said in my earlier response here: you two were probably just not a match. no "fault" lying with either one of you. The only way That guy's list is useful I guess would be in a LTR in whose partners got lazy and took each other for granted. But srsly, do something that gives your partner unexpected pleasure every day??? Exhausting. Unless you're like me and if my guy does little stuff, like washes my car or lays out a fresh towel for me while I'm in the shower then that is great in my book.

ETA: the "putting your partner first" thing is actually what has kept our marriage together for 22 years. I don't think my definition of that is the same as what is implied in the original list that guy gav you though.

 

[Dr.J20]

At first I got sucked into the list and though it sounded reasonable, but then you're right, "always' and "never" are doomed to failure most of the time. I agree w/ your #2, and what I said in my earlier response here: you two were probably just not a match. no "fault" lying with either one of you. The only way That guy's list is useful I guess would be in a LTR in whose partners got lazy and took each other for granted. But srsly, do something that gives your partner unexpected pleasure every day??? Exhausting. Unless you're like me and if my guy does little stuff, like washes my car or lays out a fresh towel for me while I'm in the shower then that is great in my book.

ETA: the "putting your partner first" thing is actually what has kept our marriage together for 22 years. I don't think my definition of that is the same as what is implied in the original list that guy gav you though.

Thanks for your reply hookabelly! And i know i probably came off a little harsher than warranted, because certainly there is a (perhaps, minuscule) kernel of truth in each of the things offered in that list, but to present it as a panacea for all relationships, and to do so under the presumption that any relationship OUGHT to succeed (where success is monolithically defined as a long-term, marriage oriented relationship) is really where my temper was tweaked. Certainly putting your partner first is a good mantra FOR BOTH PARTIES. that gets you a nice, compromising attitude wherein each seeks to put the other first. Often the result is a more mindful and caring relationship.

On a side note, I believe those little things your guy does for your ARE the important signs of caring, and those are the things that contribute to a lasting relationship, not the stupid "unexpected pleasure" dictum.
Thanks for the good vibes,
be easy,
Dr.J

 

[Hookabelly]

Thanks for your reply hookabelly! And i know i probably came off a little harsher than warranted, because certainly there is a (perhaps, minuscule) kernel of truth in each of the things offered in that list, but to present it as a panacea for all relationships, and to do so under the presumption that any relationship OUGHT to succeed (where success is monolithically defined as a long-term, marriage oriented relationship) is really where my temper was tweaked. Certainly putting your partner first is a good mantra FOR BOTH PARTIES. that gets you a nice, compromising attitude wherein each seeks to put the other first. Often the result is a more mindful and caring relationship.

On a side note, I believe those little things your guy does for your ARE the important signs of caring, and those are the things that contribute to a lasting relationship, not the stupid "unexpected pleasure" dictum.
Thanks for the good vibes,
be easy,
Dr.J

I actually liked your opening line of your response to him. Got my attention for sure, and b/c it was followed by some very concise points, I think it had quite the impact.


For what it's worth, I have NEVER cared for Oprah self serving, Winfrey. What a narcissistic megalomaniac. And the throngs of hysterical women fawning over her every word is nauseating to me and embarrasses my gender.