Yessica...
Well-Known Member
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this story, because it happened to me and was hilarious. I am sure there are those out there that DO NOT like reading about ass-play stories. If that sounds like you - DO NOT CONTINUE READING!!!! If one of you decide to read this, and then decide to take time out of your life to say something douchie - then you are a tool - and BRING IT! For everyone else, please enjoy:
So...this is both completely embarrassing - AND the funniest shit that has ever happened to me. Because if you can't laugh at yourself, what the fuck is the point?
So come on an adventure with me - my first and only ass-play experience...
The year is 2004. I am living with my bestie/ ex boyfriend/ sexual adventuring partner. It's a Sunday afternoon, and we are bored in my new apartment in the summer trying to figure out what to do...
Prostate diddling? That sounds like a pretty sweet adventure to me! We discuss, and decide - this party just got a whole lot sexier...haha.
So - I ready the "penetration glove", and the jar of KY - and he positions himself on my bed - and I dive it. He screams! I scream - "It's so warm and tight - eeeeeeew". And his response is "I feel like I'm gonna shit - gross, I don't like it - take it out!". So I remove the finger, and ask him if there was any enjoyment - he says no.
So I go into the next room, and look up how to diddle the prostate on the interweb. From the next room, I shout "It says 3 inches in I need to look for a bean!!!"
"No fucking way 3 inches - that's WAAAAAY too far!" - he yells back. So I put on a fresh set of gloves - and with the focus of an Olympic athlete I prepare myself for the task at hand.
This is happening - I read about it - and I am going to get a guy off with just one finger - it's HAPPENING! So I try again - and he shrieks "Nooooooo, it's too far, I'm going to poop". I tell him I'll take it out - but instead I do one more push and go in up to my knuckle, and he screams "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!". I pull out...and then we look at each other and there is a moment of silence...and that's when I hear it - laughter, riotous laughter coming from outside my window...
Turns out, one floor down through my open window, the whole appt building in the NEW place I moved, is having a nice Sunday afternoon barbecue. Right outside my fucking OPEN window. They hear it all - every scream and internet explanation and talking play-by-play. bahahahahahahahhaahhaa
So, for the rest of my year in that appt, I didn't use the front door because I was afraid to see anyone. I used the back door (pun funnily intended). I can never be sure, because I didn't ask - but I'm quite certain my nickname must have been "ass play girl in appt 13".
Hope you enjoyed my first and only ass play adventure!
Anything like that every happen to you? bahahahahaha
So...this is both completely embarrassing - AND the funniest shit that has ever happened to me. Because if you can't laugh at yourself, what the fuck is the point?
So come on an adventure with me - my first and only ass-play experience...
The year is 2004. I am living with my bestie/ ex boyfriend/ sexual adventuring partner. It's a Sunday afternoon, and we are bored in my new apartment in the summer trying to figure out what to do...
Prostate diddling? That sounds like a pretty sweet adventure to me! We discuss, and decide - this party just got a whole lot sexier...haha.
So - I ready the "penetration glove", and the jar of KY - and he positions himself on my bed - and I dive it. He screams! I scream - "It's so warm and tight - eeeeeeew". And his response is "I feel like I'm gonna shit - gross, I don't like it - take it out!". So I remove the finger, and ask him if there was any enjoyment - he says no.
So I go into the next room, and look up how to diddle the prostate on the interweb. From the next room, I shout "It says 3 inches in I need to look for a bean!!!"
"No fucking way 3 inches - that's WAAAAAY too far!" - he yells back. So I put on a fresh set of gloves - and with the focus of an Olympic athlete I prepare myself for the task at hand.
This is happening - I read about it - and I am going to get a guy off with just one finger - it's HAPPENING! So I try again - and he shrieks "Nooooooo, it's too far, I'm going to poop". I tell him I'll take it out - but instead I do one more push and go in up to my knuckle, and he screams "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!". I pull out...and then we look at each other and there is a moment of silence...and that's when I hear it - laughter, riotous laughter coming from outside my window...
Turns out, one floor down through my open window, the whole appt building in the NEW place I moved, is having a nice Sunday afternoon barbecue. Right outside my fucking OPEN window. They hear it all - every scream and internet explanation and talking play-by-play. bahahahahahahahhaahhaa
So, for the rest of my year in that appt, I didn't use the front door because I was afraid to see anyone. I used the back door (pun funnily intended). I can never be sure, because I didn't ask - but I'm quite certain my nickname must have been "ass play girl in appt 13".
Hope you enjoyed my first and only ass play adventure!
Anything like that every happen to you? bahahahahaha
