You seem very bitter...I am sorrry ...You just kinda of come off that way?...and if you have a lot of the problem's you say you have I can understand why....
Come on man ...Let's get real with each other non insulting ok?? IM all for that , but lifes a dream for me, im not bitter im just a happy go lucky guy , very simple and inocent in my ways , anger and sourness etc all these words died out of my vocab a long time ago , so what if iv got liver cirrhosis, it knocked 20 years off my life,, yippee that's 20 years closer to heaven? This life is a very singular life to me, if you get cuaght up in soicetys ways you end up in a kill or be killed battlefield as you may know, not the sort of life i was expecting , if you don't understand me , that's ok by me, im sure it will all make sense one day, 20 years sooner for me,,,,,,,and don't start a deep meningfull convosation then walk off, your messing with my head ,look i cant evern spell proply,,,lol,, see no bitterness,,lol, and btw in my dreams i know what its like to be shot in the eye, shot in the back of the head, stabbed in the chest, sliced throat, confonted by a 8' werewolf, jumping off several 1000' skyscapers, breathing under water and flying in mid air,,, all while being lucid , that's more frightning than real life 10000 fold,,,, , , not to nice though when i hear the dull thud of my cracked heart and wake up crying, , don't like hurt,