The "I just masturbated" thread

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
I'm trying to decide if I should pound on my dong or just take a nap. One usually leads to the other.

All this thinking about beating off is fucking exhausting, though. I guess I'll take a nap and then figure out what I'm going to do when I wake up.
 

Dyna Ryda

Well-Known Member
What do you call 4 people having sex? foursome
3 people having sex? threesome
2 people having sex? twosome
sex by yourself? handsome

I haven't had any handsome time in a long time, seriously I almost miss it.
 

Blue Wizard

Well-Known Member
@Blue Wizard

bailey jay finally got me last night.
She got me too, a few minutes ago.

I was feeling depressed and lonely so I was looking at transgendered girls on OKCupid with a shill account. I had to rub one out afterward.

There was a really pretty one about 200 miles from me but it wouldn't have worked out. She is somehow against gay marriage and is homophobic. How does that even work?

You're a pre-op transgendered woman looking for men? Hello?
 

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
I've been faithful to my old girlfriend, Fistina (rhymes with christina) for a few weeks now. It seems she's always gotta have it. I was super busy today, and she just kept finding her way into my pants. I was like, 'Bitch, get off my jock!' We ain't got time for this...' But she has a way about her that I cannot resist. She is thoughtless, though. I got up to get a paper towel and I slipped on my hardwood floor in a puddle of my spunk and smacked my head on the coffee table. Even though she technically doesn't have a mouth, I swear I could hear her laughing. Evil bitch, see the next time you get some. Ahh, who am I fooling. Come here, you hairy slut...
 
Top