2015 can suck it !

[panhead]

Last yr wasn't fantastic , i lost 4 childhood friends in 1 yr & so far 2015 is turning out even worse ,another friend has brain cancer & dont have long now this shit !

Got a Bad News phone call today from my son who just quit his $65k a year job to take over my business , and no its not the pot business he's got a brown thumb , literally , he is taking over managing our rental properties , we own commercial buildings & residential homes in up scale neighborhoods as well as 2 self storage facilities , we also buy foreclosed homes , revamp them & flip them kinda like the tv show shit without the drama , anyhow he's been going thru last yrs books in preparation for tax season & found out an employee has been stealing us blind .

So far he's found nearly $18,000 in bogus charges on the guys company Home Depot credit card for items never used in any of our properties , his company paid Mobile gas card useage is 70% higher than mine & 40% higher than our other 2 full time employees , he also found alot more cash missing from our business account which he as foreman has access to .

So far my son has uncovered over $40,000 in bogus charges , unexplainable gasoline use & unauthorized cash ATM withdrawls from this employee in 2014 alone & he's finding more bogus shit the deeper he digs , normally if somebody ripped me off i'd send some people to collect what they could the old fashioned way but im fuked with this employee , he's my brother in law , my sons uncle & my wifes baby brother who SHE LOVES DEARLY .

He was so slick at blending the scams with regular business our accountant never saw anything wrong , every charge had a PO # referenced to specific addresses so it all looked legit to the accountant , now that my son has taken over the accounting to increase profits shits comming up funky everywhere & it all leads back to my brother in law .

I feel like going over to his home & turning my dogs loose on the scheming fuker & letting the Bulldogs take $40 grand outta his ass instead of calling the cops , if i prosecute him his wife & kids ( I adore my nephews ) are gonna suffer , if send him to jail or if my wife even gets wind of what he's done i fear it will stress her so badly she'll be back in hospital or effect her long term health , my wife is so weak from the Multiple Scleurosis allready she dont need to find out her baby brother has been stealing from her , she's not American & still holds age old beliefs so she'd never be able to forgive him & the stress would tear her up .

I dont know what the hell to do , he's a vital part of the business being that he's a seriously skilled liscensed builder that works his ass off & does top notch work including all our custom wood work & cabinetry , he's like me & holds multiple Journeyman cards , his are for carpentry & plumbing , he's an expert carpet layer & all flooring including tile work , great drywaller & painter as well , if i fire him i cant envision finding another tradesman with his skill set who's willing to work 60 to 70 hours a week for $70,000 a year .

Its a family business where he is the foreman on rebuilds & building repairs & my other brother in law is an electrician & hvac mechanic who covers everything else needing done , we use our nephews for grunt work & clean up & my sons for landscaping so its a tight nit group , other than the theft its a highly profitable business that runs like a well oiled machine where all i have to do is purchase the home & sell the home , rents are paid via direct deposit into our account so i dont even have to do that part .

Firing him or prosecuting him will destroy my family as well as my wife , plus the business will suffer a set back that'll take years to get right & let outsiders into my affairs , im looking for suggestions as to dealing with the situation without destroying my family .

Any serious suggestions will help .

 

[The Outdoorsman]

How long has this been happening?

If he's important you could confront him with evidence in hand. Explain how you feel and you know what's up. Tell him it has to stop for the sake of his job and the family. Maybe give him a raise if he's working so hard for you (if financially this is a option). Sounds like he thinks he's under appreciated. Maybe even confide in him that you like him as a worker. Confidence boost to ease the tenseness of the conversation.

I left out the part about him being a thieving bastard given your situation.

Just kinda thinking out loud here.

 

[mudballs]

oh snap. he's thinking he deserves more than 70,000 a year so he's taking it without permission. If I was in your position I would tell my lawyers and schedule a meeting with two lawyers, the son with evidence and him. he should think the meeting is something entirely different then sits down, then you come in last. son speaks first about the discrepancies. lawyers shouldn't speak just witness. if you have absolute rock solid evidence then offer a dock in pay till recouped, or proceed to court for collection. if you do it right he will leave thankful to still have job and will never speak of it. once repaid he leaves 'voluntarily' because by then you'll have his replacement.wife never need know. i've had bad employees but nothing on that scale. a strong human resource presence or lawyer puts it in perspective real quick for perp.

 

[Hookabelly]

oh snap. he's thinking he deserves more than 70,000 a year so he's taking it without permission. If I was in your position I would tell my lawyers and schedule a meeting with two lawyers, the son with evidence and him. he should think the meeting is something entirely different then sits down, then you come in last. son speaks first about the discrepancies. lawyers shouldn't speak just witness. if you have absolute rock solid evidence then offer a dock in pay till recouped, or proceed to court for collection. if you do it right he will leave thankful to still have job and will never speak of it. once repaid he leaves 'voluntarily' because by then you'll have his replacement.wife never need know. i've had bad employees but nothing on that scale. a strong human resource presence or lawyer puts it in perspective real quick for perp.

@panhead The above is good advice but I don't know about the ambush style meeting part. You'd have to make that call on your own. But here's the deal:

Relative or not, stealing is stealing. He didn't seem to give a fuck about you or his sick sister while he was skimming that shit so it's time to buckle down and protect yourself. Def. get a lawyer. TRUST ME I've had extensive experience in dealing w/ family business and they rarely if EVER end well.

You can do all this w/o letting your wife know. But for the sake of your own family and medical bills you will continue to have (my father battled chronic MS for 2 decades) you must be smart and protect yourselves. Shitty in the short run, better in the long run. If the thief's wife gives you grief, you must man up and inform her her anger is misplaced. She should be more angry that she is married to one who would steal from his family. Culture or not.

 

[The Outdoorsman]

@panhead The above is good advice but I don't know about the ambush style meeting part. You'd have to make that call on your own. But here's the deal:

Relative or not, stealing is stealing. He didn't seem to give a fuck about you or his sick sister while he was skimming that shit so it's time to buckle down and protect yourself. Def. get a lawyer. TRUST ME I've had extensive experience in dealing w/ family business and they rarely if EVER end well.

You can do all this w/o letting your wife know. But for the sake of your own family and medical bills you will continue to have (my father battled chronic MS for 2 decades) you must be smart and protect yourselves. Shitty in the short run, better in the long run. If the thief's wife gives you grief, you must man up and inform her her anger is misplaced. She should be more angry that she is married to one who would steal from his family. Culture or not.

I agree with this but at the same time I've witnessed first hand how a sad demeanor can effect a sickly persons health. I think it boils down to emotional well being in this one. Unless he is ruining your livelihood.

@panhead just a random head thinking out loud, might need more details to think anymore about it.
Good luck.

 

[Hookabelly]

I agree with this but at the same time I've witnessed first hand how a sad demeanor can effect a sickly persons health. I think it boils down to emotional well being in this one. Unless he is ruining your livelihood.

@panhead just a random head thinking out loud, might need more details to think anymore about it.
Good luck.

True, but if you've ever seen some of the med. bills for MS treatment you may change your mind. But message received. Of course his wife's well being is foremost.

I was posting more from a practical, realistic standpoint of panhead being able to care for his wife, and having money stolen from him ends up hurting them more in the long run.

 

[panhead]

oh snap. he's thinking he deserves more than 70,000 a year so he's taking it without permission. If I was in your position I would tell my lawyers and schedule a meeting with two lawyers, the son with evidence and him. he should think the meeting is something entirely different then sits down, then you come in last. son speaks first about the discrepancies. lawyers shouldn't speak just witness. if you have absolute rock solid evidence then offer a dock in pay till recouped, or proceed to court for collection. if you do it right he will leave thankful to still have job and will never speak of it. once repaid he leaves 'voluntarily' because by then you'll have his replacement.wife never need know. i've had bad employees but nothing on that scale. a strong human resource presence or lawyer puts it in perspective real quick for perp.

Yeah he just takes it ! Thats what pisses me off the most , going by non union scab wages in Michigan he's over paid for his time , going by union wages he's under paid about $30,000 a year , when he quit his union job yrs ago to run my projects he named his price of $50,000 a year & ive gave him cost of living raises to where he is now at $70k, he WAS slated for an $5,500 a year raise starting the 1st week of 2015 but now ?

As to proof the evidence is rock solid , my business account with Home Depot has a card with my business name then his full name on the card , all cards are seperate for all 3 card holders & require ID at the register , the bank account stolen from has 3 cards as well with each card holders name & seperate pin numbers so there isnt any confusion about who withdrew the money .

His gas card is from Wright Express & requires he enter mileage at the gas pump before pumping so his mileage back & forth to work & suppliers is way above normal , i dont know why i posted he had a mobile card i stopped using speed pass a year ago & switched to Wright Express .

I do think im gonna take your advice on using our lawyer for a sit down & repayment arrangement , i dont want to fire him & not just because it'll crush my wife but it is gonna be damm hard to find a replacement for him , he knows where every house & building is located & knows the repair history of the rentals .

His skill level in custom on site built cabinetry alone would cost me an extra $5k per home subbing out all cabinet work , same with the tile work this guy is one bad ass tile setter & does beautifull fireplace work & kitchen & bath tile , nowdays every home buyer wants a bad ass kitchen & baths , if theres a fireplace nobody goes for the old red brick ugly things from the 50's they want marble & he's damm good at it , shit like that makes him so fukin hard to replace & subbing out everything he does would raise my sale prices to top appraisal value then the houses sit for months , i need to stay at about 15 to 20% below max appraisal to flip em quick to keep cash flowing .

I dont know exactly how im gonna deal with his ass but for sure were going on record with our lawyer where his thefts are acknowledged & repayment arrangements made , how he responds to the confrontation is gonna determine most of the outcome .

Thanks for the advice .

 

[rory420420]

Sammy the bull capped his brother in law...just sayin...

 

[mudballs]

Yeah he just takes it ! Thats what pisses me off the most , going by non union scab wages in Michigan he's over paid for his time , going by union wages he's under paid about $30,000 a year , when he quit his union job yrs ago to run my projects he named his price of $50,000 a year & ive gave him cost of living raises to where he is now at $70k, he WAS slated for an $5,500 a year raise starting the 1st week of 2015 but now ?

As to proof the evidence is rock solid , my business account with Home Depot has a card with my business name then his full name on the card , all cards are seperate for all 3 card holders & require ID at the register , the bank account stolen from has 3 cards as well with each card holders name & seperate pin numbers so there isnt any confusion about who withdrew the money .

His gas card is from Wright Express & requires he enter mileage at the gas pump before pumping so his mileage back & forth to work & suppliers is way above normal , i dont know why i posted he had a mobile card i stopped using speed pass a year ago & switched to Wright Express .

I do think im gonna take your advice on using our lawyer for a sit down & repayment arrangement , i dont want to fire him & not just because it'll crush my wife but it is gonna be damm hard to find a replacement for him , he knows where every house & building is located & knows the repair history of the rentals .

His skill level in custom on site built cabinetry alone would cost me an extra $5k per home subbing out all cabinet work , same with the tile work this guy is one bad ass tile setter & does beautifull fireplace work & kitchen & bath tile , nowdays every home buyer wants a bad ass kitchen & baths , if theres a fireplace nobody goes for the old red brick ugly things from the 50's they want marble & he's damm good at it , shit like that makes him so fukin hard to replace & subbing out everything he does would raise my sale prices to top appraisal value then the houses sit for months , i need to stay at about 15 to 20% below max appraisal to flip em quick to keep cash flowing .

I dont know exactly how im gonna deal with his ass but for sure were going on record with our lawyer where his thefts are acknowledged & repayment arrangements made , how he responds to the confrontation is gonna determine most of the outcome .

Thanks for the advice .

with the delicate family situation don't ask for a repay just say you're going to take it out from future paychecks.you can soften things with wording it right "i'm not going to ask you to pay it back i think it's best for us to cut it from your pay. we both loose but it can go back into the company." you can offer to have his raise show up in his 1099 as a misc tax/licensing he can claim. the more jelly you put on the biscuit easier for him to swallow. the goal is have him leave the room feeling bad but still family.also think about giving him a helper that rides with him for a few weeks. his head will swirl with anxiety and the 'helper' acts as a psuedo watchdog. he won't even think about pulling tricks while a helper is around.you can make customer service at HD call in for approval or write checks at office. as for gas that one i never could get a handle on.

 

[bu$hleaguer]

Sucks to hear man. I would involve a lawyer first and foremost so that there's a paper trail if/when things get ugly. Confront him with evidence and lawyer/s present and come to an agreement as two how he will pay back the missing money. He needs to agree and sign on the line- there needs to be a deadline when shit is finally paid off, a guarantee on his part that he'll fulfill his end of the deal. There's no reason this has to hit the family or the court if you don't want it to- but he needs to have a pay deduction somewhat substantial without any issues until it's paid off. Or he goes to jail. Fuck it, ya gotta play hardball. That's my thought

 

[rory420420]

20,000 a knee cap,just saying...

I'd keep dosing the fuck outta him till he stopped coming to work.fuck,consider yourself lucky he didnt get to 100k..then you'd HAVE to fuck him up...
You got off easy,imo...take it for what it is,sever your ties asap,and keep dosing him on holidays and family gatherings,and without remorse..dose him good!

 

[Hookabelly]

Good luck.

 

[panhead]

I agree with this but at the same time I've witnessed first hand how a sad demeanor can effect a sickly persons health. I think it boils down to emotional well being in this one. Unless he is ruining your livelihood.

@panhead just a random head thinking out loud, might need more details to think anymore about it.
Good luck.

You hit the nail on the head , my wife is all about family , its the only life left in her , she hurts 24/7 & cant walk most days so family has became 110% of her life , plus my wife's a girly girl who crys when i dont notice she had her nails or hair done she'll loose it if she finds out , any kind of stress triggers her MS & she has severe tremors over little stressfull shit , something big like this would put her in a full blown relapse & hospital time .

Financially the loss wont hurt me one bit ,the business income has zero bearing on how we live now , all properties are paid off including both our homes , we have zero debt plus a good amount saved from us both working for decades , we both have pensions totaling over $7k a month as well .

I cant say i made profit from owning the co-op because it was tax exempt but my partners turned it into a tax paying dispensary before i sold back my 51% so we put a tidy sum back from the sale .

My wifes health is my #1 concern then the business , one way or the other i gotta resolve this shit peacefully so it dont tear my family apart , the rest of the family would be all kinda pisses off at him if they knew .

 

[Diabolical666]

Sorry to hear all this bs is happening. You dont deserve this, just remember that!
Heres what I would do...
1st Id have your son calculate all this bs he racked up on your dime
2nd you and your son coax him to come with you and you take him to an empty warehouse and tie him to a chair
Then, show him all the stuff in writing, explaining how this would hurt the family while reaching for some tin snips
to act like you are going to cut his fingers off if he doesnt agree to keep working for you and pay off the debt.
Ok, maybe not the warehouse part....but have him agree to payoff debt signing a contract of all the details of what hes done etc. or you will prosecute his ass to the fullest. Let some time pass so youre nice and cooled off.

 

[panhead]

Thanks for the advice guys , if i dont respond to everbody tonight dont take offense , im starting to stress bad & my wife picks up on that shit & i dont want her thinkin im keeping something from her , im gonna chew up a zanny bar & wash it down with a cup of hot coco & chill for a while & think this shit out .

I will respond tomorrow , again thanks to all .

 

[SomeGuy]

IMO ms or not wife should know. Girly or not.she is probably tougher than she lets on. Secrets are what hurts family the most. Especially this kind. Just my 2cents.

 

[Dr.Pecker]

I'm a 100x worse off than you. Embezzlement is a crime but if you took him to court you probably won't get your money from him even if you won.

 

[King Arthur]

Sorry to hear that your 2015 is sucking the worlds dick but hopefully it turns around for the better. The good news is you found out you have a problem and now you just gotta nut up and deal with it. You got this, just don't do anything stupid.

 

[mr sunshine]

Let him keep it ..He probably deserved it anyway. ..from now on make sure he doesn't take anymore. . Give him his 5500 dollar raise. ..and never give him another raise again...it sucks but money's just paper family is what's important....

 

[WHATFG]

Let him keep it ..He probably deserved it anyway. ..from now on make sure he doesn't take anymore. . Give him his 5500 dollar raise. ..and never give him another raise again...it sucks but money's just paper family is what's important....

If he needed money he could have asked for it....this was more calculated and done over time...not a lot of family loyalty there.