Calling me old, bro? Haha, maybe not mature for my age, but intelligent in general perhaps?
I kid, I kid...I'm as dumb as a doorknob...
I think door knobs are rather refined.
Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
Doorknob: D'ooooh!
Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...
Doorknob: Whew. Quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn.
Alice: You see, I was following...
Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn? Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?
Alice: I simply must get through!
Doorknob: Sorry, you're much too big. Simply impassible.
Alice: You mean impossible?
Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing's impossible.
[
Alice reaches the door to escape from the mob]
Doorknob: [
tries to open the door] D'oh! I'm - still locked, you know!
Alice: [
in horror] But the queen! I simply *must* get out!
Doorknob: [
chuckles] But you *are* outside.
Alice: [
releases her grip on the Doorknob] What?
Doorknob: [
opens his mouth] See for yourself.
[
Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow]
Alice: Why - why that's me! I'm asleep!
Queen of Hearts: [
shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other characters] Don't let her get away! Off with her head!
Alice: [
in terror, through the Doorknob's mouth] Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice!
Queen of Hearts: [
comes closer with the rest of the mob] Off with her head!
Alice: Alice! Please, wake up, Alice!
[
as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice sleeping by the tree]
Alice: [
voiceover] Alice! Alice! Alice!
Alice's sister: [
changes to her sister's] Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?
Alice: [
drinks from bottle] Mmm... tastes like cherry tart.
[
shrinks down]
Alice: Custard.
[
shrinks down]
Alice: Pineapple.
[
shrinks down]
Alice: Roast turkey.
[
now at minimum size]
Alice: Goodness! What did I do?
Doorknob: [
chuckles] You almost went out like a candle!
Alice: But look, I'm just the right size!
Doorknob: Oh - no use.
[
laughs]
Doorknob: I forgot to tell you.
[
laughs]
Doorknob: I'm locked!
[
laughs]
Alice: Oh, no!
Doorknob: But of course, you've got the key, so...
Alice: What key?
Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there!