RIU keeping my sanity divorce is a bitch

semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
hello everyone this is the first time I've ever posted in the toke and talk and I'm not asking for opinions or advice though they are welcome I've just read everything I really care to read in the growing sections and ok trying to keep my mind occupied
anyways ill keep this short cause I don't expect this to go anywhere I think just typing it is helping
a little background me and my wife have been together for 10 years with a 3 year split up . 3 years ago we had our daughter it was a very traumatic birth she went without oxygen for 20 minutes , the drs give us a slim to none chance of survival, she did survive and now she is very disabled but a very beautiful sweet and affectionate 3 year old girl
last Sunday I caught my wife sending ugh very fucking innapropriate pictures to a guy that came in to her work that she had used to work with he told her he used to have a thing for her they flirts pictures got sent blah blah fuckity blah , she said things ended there she regrette it felt like a whore didn't want to lose her family by taking it any further and cut it off there, but I still saw the pictures after some time I decided I needed to forgive her because yeah she fucked up but she somewhat made it right by realizing what she was doing and ending it , now several days later things are still tense and difficult and she doesn't feel like we can recover from this even though I was the one wronged and want to move on WHAT THE FUCK
ill end it there I'm trying to make progress and help her see things can be worked out but her severe depression from what happened with our daughter is making everything so dark for her I'm hoping shell really get some help for that soon but I don't know I've been trying to get her to for a while . I'm fucking lost really

thanks for letting me vent RIU if your going to be immature please keep that shit in highschool
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
ebgood said:
rough stuff bro, just hang in there and do what u think is best for u and ur babygirl. u cant control adults, shes gonna do what shes gonna do, imo, just do u need to do to make sure u stay solid for ur daughter. the rest will work itself out.
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thanks yeah she's my main concern
UncleBuck said:
well, that all really sucks.

want me to cheer you up?
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I'm scared to ask but how
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
qwizoking said:
She already made up her mind, you was wronged yu say and she wants to dip..might as well tell that girl to get to steppin now

I divorced my ex bout this time least year. Best thing i ever did but yea it sucked
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shes not ready to dip she says she wants to be together and blah blah just doesnt see how we can get past this so idk ive thought that myself though shes already made her decision it wont be fixable but i know thats partially her depression hard me for to make my own conclusion on how she REALLY feels with that going on
 
ebgood

ebgood

Well-Known Member
semajkroy said:
shes not ready to dip she says she wants to be together and blah blah just doesnt see how we can get past this so idk ive thought that myself though shes already made her decision it wont be fixable but i know thats partially her depression hard me for to make my own conclusion on how she REALLY feels with that going on
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mind if i ask how old are u guys?
 
ttystikk

ttystikk

Well-Known Member
I think we, the forum peanut gallery, are jumping the gun. This is just a few days in and she's confused and hurt- just like you are.

I know everyone rolls their eyes at the suggestion of counseling- but it's worth a try, and if it still doesn't work out you'll know you gave it every chance.

My ex and I split up after three years, but we made a deal to remain friends and work together in the best interest of our child. Our daughter is now twelve and has received lots of love, attention and support of all kinds from two families her whole life. It isn't an easy option but it can be done, and your child is worth the effort every bit as much as mine is.

I feel for you, brother- I've been there and it sucks. Keep in mind that you're young and the sun also rises on a new day- so make the most of it.

I wish you and your family the very best.
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
bearkat42 said:
Walk away friend. If she thinks the grass is greener, let her go. She didn't regret anything but getting caught. You don't need to be married to care for your daughter. I had the greatest dad in recorded history, and my parents divorced when I was 2.
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thanks for the input I do still contemplate it I'm fucking good to her I know it she knows it anyone anywhere close to us knows it if she is thinking ita greener over there I know shed figure out it wasn't real quick and change but thats just to far for more to go back
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
ttystikk said:
I think we, the forum peanut gallery, are jumping the gun. This is just a few days in and she's confused and hurt- just like you are.

I know everyone rolls their eyes at the suggestion of counseling- but it's worth a try, and if it still doesn't work out you'll know you gave it every chance.

My ex and I split up after three years, but we made a deal to remain friends and work together in the best interest of our child. Our daughter is now twelve and has received lots of love, attention and support of all kinds from two families her whole life. It isn't an easy option but it can be done, and your child is worth the effort every bit as much as mine is.

I feel for you, brother- I've been there and it sucks. Keep in mind that you're young and the sun also rises on a new day- so make the most of it.

I wish you and your family the very best.
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thanks I definetly didn't not expect responses this great, and it wouldn't be a bitter custody battle if we did split I do know that much and we've both agreed wed never stay together specifically for our daughter and be miserable with ourselves
 
ebgood

ebgood

Well-Known Member
semajkroy said:
not at all I'm 26 and she's 25 both birthdays are soon
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i dunno man we can give u advice all day but just go with ur gut. stick it out until u just cant do anymore. i know they say it takes 2 but 1 is usually stronger than the other so just day by day it. it will go how its supposed to. and if it doesnt go well, u have the pride of sayin u gave it ur best ya know?
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
ebgood said:
i dunno man we can give u advice all day but just go with ur gut. stick it out until u just cant do anymore. i know they say it takes 2 but 1 is usually stronger than the other so just day by day it. it will go how its supposed to. and if it doesnt go well, u have the pride of sayin u gave it ur best ya know?
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yeah I'm pretty much on that page I think just been a rough few days to get there
 
Yessica...

Yessica...

Well-Known Member
semajkroy said:
hello everyone this is the first time I've ever posted in the toke and talk and I'm not asking for opinions or advice though they are welcome I've just read everything I really care to read in the growing sections and ok trying to keep my mind occupied
anyways ill keep this short cause I don't expect this to go anywhere I think just typing it is helping
a little background me and my wife have been together for 10 years with a 3 year split up . 3 years ago we had our daughter it was a very traumatic birth she went without oxygen for 20 minutes , the drs give us a slim to none chance of survival, she did survive and now she is very disabled but a very beautiful sweet and affectionate 3 year old girl
last Sunday I caught my wife sending ugh very fucking innapropriate pictures to a guy that came in to her work that she had used to work with he told her he used to have a thing for her they flirts pictures got sent blah blah fuckity blah , she said things ended there she regrette it felt like a whore didn't want to lose her family by taking it any further and cut it off there, but I still saw the pictures after some time I decided I needed to forgive her because yeah she fucked up but she somewhat made it right by realizing what she was doing and ending it , now several days later things are still tense and difficult and she doesn't feel like we can recover from this even though I was the one wronged and want to move on WHAT THE FUCK
ill end it there I'm trying to make progress and help her see things can be worked out but her severe depression from what happened with our daughter is making everything so dark for her I'm hoping shell really get some help for that soon but I don't know I've been trying to get her to for a while . I'm fucking lost really

thanks for letting me vent RIU if your going to be immature please keep that shit in highschool
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DUDE!

Marriage counselling. Third party can mean a lot.

Sounds like your wife (and possibly you too) might like to talk to someone on your own too.

I go into a serious depression every time I do long division and get a remainder....

Jokes aside - I get real sad sometimes. And help is out there.

Also - wanna kill some time and are kind of a perv? Many hours to be killed in the naughty thread...

Although, maybe if you think inter web picture sharing is sloooooty, you might not like it there. Too soon and all.

Hope it works out for you! Venting is great.
 
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