RIU keeping my sanity divorce is a bitch

tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
Hey, OP. I feel you, bro, I've been divorced twice. Some good advice in this thread, definitely get into some couples therapy. With a kid in the mix, you want to be able to tell yourself, and eventually the child, that you did ALL you could to make the marriage work. If it doesn't, at least you earned your way out. The cheating is always difficult to deal with; it's cliche to say it's a symptom of other underlying issues, but it sounds like it could be what's going on in your case. I'm here to say that there is life after divorce, as difficult as it was I've never been happier than I am now. My kid's mom and I get along better than we ever have, we're really good co-parents and we always get comments regarding that. Hang in there, my friend, because either way it goes there are really bright times ahead...
 
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lahadaextranjera

lahadaextranjera

Well-Known Member
OP has a lot going on for such a young age.

Marriage counselling should be attempted especially as you still want to try and have a kid.

It's different for men and women, a man resists temptation and finds it normal, a woman has her head turned and all other questions are raised. Maybe she is questioning herself if she is looking elsewhere.

I left my bf of 7 years when I started looking elsewhere. Although I never cheated on him I just knew he no longer held my attention and of course we don't have a kid. I'm much happier now and I think he is too, although he never would have ended it.

To make it work you both have to want to try. It's awful what happened to your daughter. My friends mum saved her daughter once when she stopped breathing by running out the house and into the next door dental surgery to take the oxygen, she's a nurse. 20 mins for oxygen when delivering a baby? They'd do a better job in Bangkok.
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
sounds like the two of you havent had it very easy in your marriage in the last few years, it sounds as if shes upset with herself for her actions, and you are concerned and devastated.

there are a few options you can explore im not here to tell you how to run your life or give you advice, but look at your options first.
you can end your marriage and move on
work it out together
or seek out third party help and consider marriage counseling.
seek counseling for yourself to help with self empowerment and parenting options

ask yourself which option is best for you, weigh out the pros and cons and figure out what you would like to try

i suggest seeing a counseler either way as they can provide you with useful links to local community outreach programs with your daughter , depending where you live these are usually free or under some health plan.
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
thanks for all the great advice and kind words .. She's not receptive to couples counseling I just don't think she believes in it after a certain point plus she's embarrassed she doesn't want to tell anyone what she did , I'm getting more nd more confused and at the same time more and more fed up , I understand the guilt but I don't understand the confusion and no effort to fix this on her part I'm trying so hard to contribute that to her depression and it also being that time.....I can't forgive her and continue to believe theres more to this than I know it will drive me nuts . So I'm trying to not get fed up yet keep trying to bring things back to a norm and getting through this , I don't know how ling ill be able to do that but when I can't ill no it wasn't my lack of effort
 
panhead

panhead

Well-Known Member
The problem is that some other man has seen her nubbins , you ain't digging on that & she knows you think less of her for it , period .

It's some nude pics fer fucks sake ! With the stress you kids are under it's a wonder both of you ain't fuckin & suckin everything with 2 legs , I would be .

Sounds to me like both of you need to grow up & let it go , men seen her nubbins before you no matter what she says , if you wanna keep your wife fuck the living shit out of her & put all the silliness to rest .
 
DST

DST

Well-Known Member
I'd go with Panheads advise. Sounds like you both need a little quality time together to remember why you got together in the first place. Time I am sure is hard, but where there's a will(ie) theres a way! I haven't seen my wife for 5 days and I am gagging on it:). Good luck. Peace, DST
 
Aeroknow

Aeroknow

Well-Known Member
Unclebaldrick said:
Like @tyler.durden , I too am twice divorced. The only thing I have to add is that if you ever get to the point where you just can't get over something... Ya will. Give it some time. No matter how awful it gets - life goes on and it gets better. Just stay chill and let time do its job.
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Word!
Dyna808 said:
Going through a divorce with a kid involved sucks BBC. I hope you can work it out. 2 and a half years later my ex and I are good friends and she occasionally spends the night, it's fun again, but no anal yet, fml.
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I drank myself into a very long jail sentence when my wife split with the kids for good. Only to get out and find she was fucking my "good" friend. AND, that mother fucker owed me for a couple pounds, back then it was still around 4400 for bud here in Ca, 1999.
I couldn't sleep for months. Wanted to kill everyone. The next year I was banging a super hottie, and was back on track with the kids and life has been beautiful since. Over the years, she has talked about getting back together. And I'm like yeah fuckin rite! I still love her of course, but she is so ugly to me now.
OP, life will be ok either way, trust me. And oh yeah, our first born has special needs(autistic). Very rough on a young couple.
Whatever happens, be a good father and there will be no regrets;-)
 
semajkroy

semajkroy

Well-Known Member
i don't know where this is going now she says she just isn't happy with herself and doesn't think shell be able to be happy together so I don't know if that bs and code for I am into someone else or if its depression
 
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