eatspam
Well-Known Member
Grow Journal Prologue: Why am I "wasting my time" with a grow this small?
When I was in my early 20's I was a VERY heavy user.
I was smoking a few grams a day and it was eating away at any money that i was earning.
Every week I'd pay back my credit bill with my dealer then immediately as for more credit.
Well I decided to break the cycle and grow for myself.
But almost as soon as I did my use went from maybe a gram at most per day to well over double that, hell at harvest time I could polish off an ounce in a week!
This plus some hassles with my land lord lead to me taking down my grow op, forcing myself to cut back and go back to buying it.
Since then my life has changed.
A bit over 2 years ago I gave up completely.
My wife (who knew I smoked but to this day has no idea I've ever grown) wanted to have a baby.
I knew I couldn't afford to pay for my habit and support a newborn at the same time so I gave it up.
Although giving it up was surprisingly easy I've always missed my "quiet time".
Those couple hours each day after work. I'd go out to my shed, punch a few cones, put on an album and unwind from the day at work. I miss that.
On top of just "missing it" my anxiety that I've had to deal with since adolescence is starting to come back to the point that I KNOW the Dr's will put me back onto a prescription drug that I HATE not only because of the way it makes me "numb" to feelings but also the harsh side effects such as not being able to eat for days at a time, not being able to sleep, nausea, headaches, it's a non ending list of suffering that makes the "cure" WORSE than the disease.
I'm Growing a SMALL supply that i'll only use when I just can't handle the stress. Something that equates to maybe a dose or 2 a week. Just enough to get me to the next harvest.
There is also the LAW to worry about.
I'm Australian, no matter which state you're in or how much you have in your possession, you'll be in trouble if you're caught.
I'm not 100% sure if it applies to my state but I've read a few articles on cases where people have been caught growing in a way that children might have been "exposed" to the cultivation process and therefore punishment is significantly worse.
To make it even worse for growers if anyone even has KNOWLEDGE that a grow is taking place they are up for the same charges as the person actually responsible for the grow.
I can't risk any of this, so this grow will be the ultimate test in stealth. it has to be inaccessible to my kid, even any equipment needed like nutes and meters.
This will be the ultimate test of stealth and security.
A PC case grow in my mind is the best solution to my current situation and medication needs.
So please if you do comment, and anyone that wishes to comment is welcome in my journal, PLEASE consider my reasons for such a small grow and respect them before telling me I'm wasting my time.
Next post: Setting Up My Grow Area...
When I was in my early 20's I was a VERY heavy user.
I was smoking a few grams a day and it was eating away at any money that i was earning.
Every week I'd pay back my credit bill with my dealer then immediately as for more credit.
Well I decided to break the cycle and grow for myself.
But almost as soon as I did my use went from maybe a gram at most per day to well over double that, hell at harvest time I could polish off an ounce in a week!
This plus some hassles with my land lord lead to me taking down my grow op, forcing myself to cut back and go back to buying it.
Since then my life has changed.
A bit over 2 years ago I gave up completely.
My wife (who knew I smoked but to this day has no idea I've ever grown) wanted to have a baby.
I knew I couldn't afford to pay for my habit and support a newborn at the same time so I gave it up.
Although giving it up was surprisingly easy I've always missed my "quiet time".
Those couple hours each day after work. I'd go out to my shed, punch a few cones, put on an album and unwind from the day at work. I miss that.
On top of just "missing it" my anxiety that I've had to deal with since adolescence is starting to come back to the point that I KNOW the Dr's will put me back onto a prescription drug that I HATE not only because of the way it makes me "numb" to feelings but also the harsh side effects such as not being able to eat for days at a time, not being able to sleep, nausea, headaches, it's a non ending list of suffering that makes the "cure" WORSE than the disease.
I'm Growing a SMALL supply that i'll only use when I just can't handle the stress. Something that equates to maybe a dose or 2 a week. Just enough to get me to the next harvest.
There is also the LAW to worry about.
I'm Australian, no matter which state you're in or how much you have in your possession, you'll be in trouble if you're caught.
I'm not 100% sure if it applies to my state but I've read a few articles on cases where people have been caught growing in a way that children might have been "exposed" to the cultivation process and therefore punishment is significantly worse.
To make it even worse for growers if anyone even has KNOWLEDGE that a grow is taking place they are up for the same charges as the person actually responsible for the grow.
I can't risk any of this, so this grow will be the ultimate test in stealth. it has to be inaccessible to my kid, even any equipment needed like nutes and meters.
This will be the ultimate test of stealth and security.
A PC case grow in my mind is the best solution to my current situation and medication needs.
So please if you do comment, and anyone that wishes to comment is welcome in my journal, PLEASE consider my reasons for such a small grow and respect them before telling me I'm wasting my time.
Next post: Setting Up My Grow Area...