prob just cause toronto is there, it can be bat shit crazy there like any other metropolis i hate it there theres just so many fucking people cramped in everywhere
Americans will start being microchipped in 3 years
- Thread starter Mr. Bongwater
- Start date
Aeroknow
Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
A-to-Z of Why Canada Sucks
A – Animals
We’re just trying to relax and watch some TV here and what comes on but a commercial featuring mutilated dogs and noted Canadian Sarah McLachlan begging us for money. Thanks for ruining “Judge Judy” reruns, Canada.
B – Bacon
This is nothing that hasn’t been said before, but Canadian bacon is not bacon. You’re embarrassing yourselves. Canadian bacon proves, as with all things, that it becomes instantly ruined if you put the word “Canadian” in front of it. (See: Canadian Football League.)
C – Curling
The fact that so many of you like this proves how boring your cold and desolate land really is. But if you guys ever need a job, feel free to come down here and take one of the maid jobs that Americans don’t want. Your sweeping skills would kill there.
D – Drake
“Started from the bottom now we here.” You got half of it right, guy. You started from the bottom, but you remain there. You’re still Canadian and no one with any taste likes you.
E – Eh
You don’t know how to speak properly, eh?
F – Ford, Rob
None of America’s major cities are run by a known crackhead. (Currently.)
G – Guns
If anyone in North America should have the right to bare arms, it’s you people because 79-percent (approximately) of your citizens die from bear attacks.
H – Hoops
America has helped grow ice hockey for you. But look what you’ve done with basketball. Nothing. The Grizzlies left and the Raptors historically blow. Your best contribution, Steve Nash, is now a depressingly brittle old man. Oh, and he was born in South Africa. Good job, Canada!
I – Igloos
Keep contributing to global warming by pumping oil out of the ground while living in ice houses. That won’t end poorly for you. You’re not too bright are you, Canadians?
J – Justin Bieber
His crap music was bad enough. But his criminal behavior is unacceptable. We are a nation of laws, Canada. Up there you may be governed by crack mayors, but that doesn’t mean you can come here and continue your wanton lawlessness.
K – Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves grew up in Lebanon, New York City, Australia and Toronto. But only Canada was lame enough to claim his as their own.
L – Leaf
You and your stupid maple leaf. It’s supposed to symbolize the strength and endurance of the maple tree, and thereby the strength and endurance of Canada. Or something. But you don’t have a maple tree on your flag, you have a maple leaf. Leaves fall off and rot every year. They’re highly susceptible to beetles and fungus. Watch out world! The nation of rotten fungus leaves is here! Be intimidated!
M – Monarchy
“We’re a sovereign nation!” Oh. Sure. A sovereign nation that has the queen of another country on its money. NORMAL SOVEREIGN NATION BEHAVIOR.
N- Nunavut
Nunavut, established in 1999, means “our land.” As though there was a dispute. I’m sure so many people wanted your uninhabited islands of ice. Get over yourselves.
O – Oil
Why do we have to debate building the Keystone XL oil pipeline through the middle of our country? If you people are so polite, you should hand-deliver fresh oil each morning to our front door like an old-timey milkman.
P – Paulina Gretzky
She so wants to be famous for being famous like a Kardashian. But she just comes off looking desperate and pathetic with 1/50th of the fame. The Kardashians get TV shows and magazine covers. Paulina Gretzky gets slideshows on crap blogs. Sure, she was born in the United States, but her father is Canadian hero and lesbian haircut aficionado Wayne Gretzky. Therefore, Paulina Gretzky is Canada’s fault.
Q – Quebec
You are not your own country. And if you were, you would be zero on the world stage. You people are more delusional than a retarded child. It’s almost impressive. Almost.
R – Roughriders
As recently as 1996, your stupid CFL had nine teams and two of them were named the Roughriders. Well, that’s not fair. One was named Roughriders and the other was Rough Riders. They added a space on the second one. Creative, eh?
S – Sidney Crosby
Look at this stupid face:
You just scored an overtime goal to win Olympic hockey gold in your homeland. Awesome. Good for you. But if you make that stupid face immediately after doing it, the whole thing should be cancelled. In a just world, at least.
T – Toronto Maple Leafs
So self-important. And we know self-important sports franchises here in Merica. This is the land of the Yankees and Red Sox. But at least they win championships sometimes. The Maple Leafs somehow have the arrogance of the Yankees mixed with the recent-history success of the Milwaukee Bucks.
U – Underdog
The United States is an underdog in ice hockey and curling. You are an underdog in everything and anything else ever invented.
V – Vancouver
“Oh, what a beautiful and culturally rich city!” I guess. Vancouver is basically Canadian Seattle. It’s okay. Pretty good even. But if it was in a real country it would barely stand out.
W – War of 1812
You turned American forces back when we tried to invade you. Canadians are polite my ass.
X – X-rated
“She said I wanted to eat her pussy … I would never say that. I’m happily married. I have plenty to eat at home.” – Mayor of Canada’s biggest city.
Y – Yonge Street
Your Yonge Street is the longest street in the world, running nearly 2,000 miles from Lake Ontario to the Minnesota border. These are the types of things that are considered interesting in Canada.
Z – Zarley Zalapski
Okay, that was a pretty cool name for a hockey player. Or for anyone. Good job there, Canada.
but fuck these clown shoes talking shit.
A – Animals
We’re just trying to relax and watch some TV here and what comes on but a commercial featuring mutilated dogs and noted Canadian Sarah McLachlan begging us for money. Thanks for ruining “Judge Judy” reruns, Canada.
B – Bacon
This is nothing that hasn’t been said before, but Canadian bacon is not bacon. You’re embarrassing yourselves. Canadian bacon proves, as with all things, that it becomes instantly ruined if you put the word “Canadian” in front of it. (See: Canadian Football League.)
C – Curling
The fact that so many of you like this proves how boring your cold and desolate land really is. But if you guys ever need a job, feel free to come down here and take one of the maid jobs that Americans don’t want. Your sweeping skills would kill there.
D – Drake
“Started from the bottom now we here.” You got half of it right, guy. You started from the bottom, but you remain there. You’re still Canadian and no one with any taste likes you.
E – Eh
You don’t know how to speak properly, eh?
F – Ford, Rob
None of America’s major cities are run by a known crackhead. (Currently.)
G – Guns
If anyone in North America should have the right to bare arms, it’s you people because 79-percent (approximately) of your citizens die from bear attacks.
H – Hoops
America has helped grow ice hockey for you. But look what you’ve done with basketball. Nothing. The Grizzlies left and the Raptors historically blow. Your best contribution, Steve Nash, is now a depressingly brittle old man. Oh, and he was born in South Africa. Good job, Canada!
I – Igloos
Keep contributing to global warming by pumping oil out of the ground while living in ice houses. That won’t end poorly for you. You’re not too bright are you, Canadians?
J – Justin Bieber
His crap music was bad enough. But his criminal behavior is unacceptable. We are a nation of laws, Canada. Up there you may be governed by crack mayors, but that doesn’t mean you can come here and continue your wanton lawlessness.
K – Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves grew up in Lebanon, New York City, Australia and Toronto. But only Canada was lame enough to claim his as their own.
L – Leaf
You and your stupid maple leaf. It’s supposed to symbolize the strength and endurance of the maple tree, and thereby the strength and endurance of Canada. Or something. But you don’t have a maple tree on your flag, you have a maple leaf. Leaves fall off and rot every year. They’re highly susceptible to beetles and fungus. Watch out world! The nation of rotten fungus leaves is here! Be intimidated!
M – Monarchy
“We’re a sovereign nation!” Oh. Sure. A sovereign nation that has the queen of another country on its money. NORMAL SOVEREIGN NATION BEHAVIOR.
N- Nunavut
Nunavut, established in 1999, means “our land.” As though there was a dispute. I’m sure so many people wanted your uninhabited islands of ice. Get over yourselves.
O – Oil
Why do we have to debate building the Keystone XL oil pipeline through the middle of our country? If you people are so polite, you should hand-deliver fresh oil each morning to our front door like an old-timey milkman.
P – Paulina Gretzky
She so wants to be famous for being famous like a Kardashian. But she just comes off looking desperate and pathetic with 1/50th of the fame. The Kardashians get TV shows and magazine covers. Paulina Gretzky gets slideshows on crap blogs. Sure, she was born in the United States, but her father is Canadian hero and lesbian haircut aficionado Wayne Gretzky. Therefore, Paulina Gretzky is Canada’s fault.
Q – Quebec
You are not your own country. And if you were, you would be zero on the world stage. You people are more delusional than a retarded child. It’s almost impressive. Almost.
R – Roughriders
As recently as 1996, your stupid CFL had nine teams and two of them were named the Roughriders. Well, that’s not fair. One was named Roughriders and the other was Rough Riders. They added a space on the second one. Creative, eh?
S – Sidney Crosby
Look at this stupid face:
You just scored an overtime goal to win Olympic hockey gold in your homeland. Awesome. Good for you. But if you make that stupid face immediately after doing it, the whole thing should be cancelled. In a just world, at least.
T – Toronto Maple Leafs
So self-important. And we know self-important sports franchises here in Merica. This is the land of the Yankees and Red Sox. But at least they win championships sometimes. The Maple Leafs somehow have the arrogance of the Yankees mixed with the recent-history success of the Milwaukee Bucks.
U – Underdog
The United States is an underdog in ice hockey and curling. You are an underdog in everything and anything else ever invented.
V – Vancouver
“Oh, what a beautiful and culturally rich city!” I guess. Vancouver is basically Canadian Seattle. It’s okay. Pretty good even. But if it was in a real country it would barely stand out.
W – War of 1812
You turned American forces back when we tried to invade you. Canadians are polite my ass.
X – X-rated
“She said I wanted to eat her pussy … I would never say that. I’m happily married. I have plenty to eat at home.” – Mayor of Canada’s biggest city.
Y – Yonge Street
Your Yonge Street is the longest street in the world, running nearly 2,000 miles from Lake Ontario to the Minnesota border. These are the types of things that are considered interesting in Canada.
Z – Zarley Zalapski
Okay, that was a pretty cool name for a hockey player. Or for anyone. Good job there, Canada.
but fuck these clown shoes talking shit.
abe supercro
Well-Known Member
For a minute I thought Darth was a pissed-off HoLe. Where's HoLe, he's Canadian?
Mr. Bongwater
Well-Known Member
the butt hurt is strong in this oneA-to-Z of Why Canada Sucks
A – Animals
We’re just trying to relax and watch some TV here and what comes on but a commercial featuring mutilated dogs and noted Canadian Sarah McLachlan begging us for money. Thanks for ruining “Judge Judy” reruns, Canada.
B – Bacon
This is nothing that hasn’t been said before, but Canadian bacon is not bacon. You’re embarrassing yourselves. Canadian bacon proves, as with all things, that it becomes instantly ruined if you put the word “Canadian” in front of it. (See: Canadian Football League.)
C – Curling
The fact that so many of you like this proves how boring your cold and desolate land really is. But if you guys ever need a job, feel free to come down here and take one of the maid jobs that Americans don’t want. Your sweeping skills would kill there.
D – Drake
“Started from the bottom now we here.” You got half of it right, guy. You started from the bottom, but you remain there. You’re still Canadian and no one with any taste likes you.
E – Eh
You don’t know how to speak properly, eh?
F – Ford, Rob
None of America’s major cities are run by a known crackhead. (Currently.)
G – Guns
If anyone in North America should have the right to bare arms, it’s you people because 79-percent (approximately) of your citizens die from bear attacks.
H – Hoops
America has helped grow ice hockey for you. But look what you’ve done with basketball. Nothing. The Grizzlies left and the Raptors historically blow. Your best contribution, Steve Nash, is now a depressingly brittle old man. Oh, and he was born in South Africa. Good job, Canada!
I – Igloos
Keep contributing to global warming by pumping oil out of the ground while living in ice houses. That won’t end poorly for you. You’re not too bright are you, Canadians?
J – Justin Bieber
His crap music was bad enough. But his criminal behavior is unacceptable. We are a nation of laws, Canada. Up there you may be governed by crack mayors, but that doesn’t mean you can come here and continue your wanton lawlessness.
K – Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves grew up in Lebanon, New York City, Australia and Toronto. But only Canada was lame enough to claim his as their own.
L – Leaf
You and your stupid maple leaf. It’s supposed to symbolize the strength and endurance of the maple tree, and thereby the strength and endurance of Canada. Or something. But you don’t have a maple tree on your flag, you have a maple leaf. Leaves fall off and rot every year. They’re highly susceptible to beetles and fungus. Watch out world! The nation of rotten fungus leaves is here! Be intimidated!
M – Monarchy
“We’re a sovereign nation!” Oh. Sure. A sovereign nation that has the queen of another country on its money. NORMAL SOVEREIGN NATION BEHAVIOR.
N- Nunavut
Nunavut, established in 1999, means “our land.” As though there was a dispute. I’m sure so many people wanted your uninhabited islands of ice. Get over yourselves.
O – Oil
Why do we have to debate building the Keystone XL oil pipeline through the middle of our country? If you people are so polite, you should hand-deliver fresh oil each morning to our front door like an old-timey milkman.
P – Paulina Gretzky
She so wants to be famous for being famous like a Kardashian. But she just comes off looking desperate and pathetic with 1/50th of the fame. The Kardashians get TV shows and magazine covers. Paulina Gretzky gets slideshows on crap blogs. Sure, she was born in the United States, but her father is Canadian hero and lesbian haircut aficionado Wayne Gretzky. Therefore, Paulina Gretzky is Canada’s fault.
Q – Quebec
You are not your own country. And if you were, you would be zero on the world stage. You people are more delusional than a retarded child. It’s almost impressive. Almost.
R – Roughriders
As recently as 1996, your stupid CFL had nine teams and two of them were named the Roughriders. Well, that’s not fair. One was named Roughriders and the other was Rough Riders. They added a space on the second one. Creative, eh?
S – Sidney Crosby
Look at this stupid face:
You just scored an overtime goal to win Olympic hockey gold in your homeland. Awesome. Good for you. But if you make that stupid face immediately after doing it, the whole thing should be cancelled. In a just world, at least.
T – Toronto Maple Leafs
So self-important. And we know self-important sports franchises here in Merica. This is the land of the Yankees and Red Sox. But at least they win championships sometimes. The Maple Leafs somehow have the arrogance of the Yankees mixed with the recent-history success of the Milwaukee Bucks.
U – Underdog
The United States is an underdog in ice hockey and curling. You are an underdog in everything and anything else ever invented.
V – Vancouver
“Oh, what a beautiful and culturally rich city!” I guess. Vancouver is basically Canadian Seattle. It’s okay. Pretty good even. But if it was in a real country it would barely stand out.
W – War of 1812
You turned American forces back when we tried to invade you. Canadians are polite my ass.
X – X-rated
“She said I wanted to eat her pussy … I would never say that. I’m happily married. I have plenty to eat at home.” – Mayor of Canada’s biggest city.
Y – Yonge Street
Your Yonge Street is the longest street in the world, running nearly 2,000 miles from Lake Ontario to the Minnesota border. These are the types of things that are considered interesting in Canada.
Z – Zarley Zalapski
Okay, that was a pretty cool name for a hockey player. Or for anyone. Good job there, Canada.
@Darth Vapour @Mr. Bongwater suck my fat hairy American cock. @Yessica... @sunni I like you guys, but fuck these clown shoes talking shit.
Mr. Bongwater
Well-Known Member
yeah hes Canadian
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Nah, it's tough to be butthurt by a Canadian. I found that on the web and had a chuckle. Having a Canadian talk shit is like having a handicapped kid talk shit. Sad and jealous. You kinda just have to laugh.
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
hahahahaahah
now THAT's funny,
You Mericans get so Ornery.
I like it here you weirdo's. Canadians, they're pretty fucking awesome in my books - I know a lot of 'em.
Cant we all just get along without the race war? I know you kids are into that down there - but not here man....not here...
Mr. Bongwater
Well-Known Member
typical ignorant american, and yes we are so jealous of your shitty ass corrupt country
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Tell that to Timbo the pathetic Canadian who started the hate thread on Merica, eh?
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
I thought this thread was about building a cross-continent hand job ring?
It's NOT?
BONER RUINED!
Mr. Bongwater
Well-Known Member
i wanted a mature civil thread on it, i guess thats too difficult for ppl not resort to pity name calling
abe supercro
Well-Known Member
^^Americans will start getting microchipped? Haha
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Looking at your first post it doesn't seem either mature or civil. I still like you brah it's all in good fun but be careful walking into the lions den and throwing punches.
Mr. Bongwater
Well-Known Member
well i was just poking fun at first but i should of knew that it'd take a turn for the worst lol
bluntmassa1
Well-Known Member
Trousers
Well-Known Member
You made a thread and have gone to great lengths to show us how shitty America is. It is cute.
Again
<tussles Canadia's hair>
<wipes hand on pants>
lol, help what?
Hey everyone, point and laugh at this Canadian.
Trousers
Well-Known Member
I do want to read the first 3 sentences of @Darth Vapour rants. He is really upset by this and by all the gays that constantly rub up on him.
abe supercro
Well-Known Member
Damn my new job at the all girls school was going great until I got fired. Anyways, what's a boundary issue?
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
hahahahahahahaDamn my new job at the all girls school was going great until I got fired. Anyways, what's a boundary issue?
You're great! See I like MOST American's. I also like MOST Canadians that I meet.
But it's just the little fuckers that screw it up. Darth's a tool - we all know that. And he says things to try to get people riled up.
Bb Bongwater is pretty awesome in my book.
Canadians and Americans fighting is pretty silly. You could bomb our country into smitheriiiiiines and we would just have to grab our ankles and bit down on something hard waiting for it all to be over.
I like Canada. I especially like it when people make fun of Canada. Because it's hilarious. We're a fun peoples to make fun of. Because most of us just think it's hilarious.
