Tell Me The Most Funniest Sex Incident You Ever Had And I'll Tell You Mine?

thump easy

thump easy

Well-Known Member
dam thats a good fucken story man that sounds real ass fuck the best one i got is that i get cought fucken in high school this chear leader drop out we at this girls house i end up fucking her in her bedroom n the sister yells OW SHIT MOMS HOME i was about to nut n she right then starts nuting and in a pounding voice ses OW HELL NO GET OFF ME QUICK GET OUT i grab my close n the mom instintaly new someone was in the house how i new mabe my friend running out the house gave it away no tym grabed my close n shoes the mom was in the hall way at the entrance FUCK ME I HAD A HARD ON n the mom look like a quarter back brod sholders big round she took up most of the hall way side to side fuck me i was like im fucked so i paniced i ran straight tord her she had a face like she wanted to takle me down she ran tord me i ran and spun like in a split second she grabed on to me but i spun in a curcle as i ran she managed to scrach me i sliped out openend the sliding back door it was locked at first n i managed to open it quick she grab pans n flug them tord me i ran so fast i must of hoped that wooden fence so quick i ran down the street but ass naked in the day tym n ran n put close on as fast as i could.... but thats the crazziest i have ever goten.
 
B

Blazz

Member
DSB65 said:
Dont know if this is funny or gross...i was fuckin this girl in the butt and i pulled out for a minute and there was this little turd on the head of my dick..well i just thumped it off and it stuck to the wall then went back to fuckin..always wondered what she thought when she found a turd on the wall...
Click to expand...
That ain't right, lmao!!
 
AKDrifter

AKDrifter

Well-Known Member
Some of the old timers may remember the , Drunken butt after seafood dinner story. Was posted by someone some years ago, I laughed my ass off.

No idea who posted it but the way the dude told the story was classic. Something about "uncorking" a bottle of champaign or something along those lines. An unforgettable RIU experience.

Juuuuust nasty but hilarious. hahaa
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
AKDrifter said:
Some of the old timers may remember the , Drunken butt after seafood dinner story. Was posted by someone some years ago, I laughed my ass off.

No idea who posted it but the way the dude told the story was classic. Something about "uncorking" a bottle of champaign or something along those lines. An unforgettable RIU experience.

Juuuuust nasty but hilarious. hahaa
Click to expand...
wish you could find. Some of the charter members were so damn funny. @beardo (hmm his name didn't come up, must have spelled wrong0
 
Unclebaldrick

Unclebaldrick

Well-Known Member
thump easy said:
dam thats a good fucken story man that sounds real ass fuck the best one i got is that i get cought fucken in high school this chear leader drop out we at this girls house i end up fucking her in her bedroom n the sister yells OW SHIT MOMS HOME i was about to nut n she right then starts nuting and in a pounding voice ses OW HELL NO GET OFF ME QUICK GET OUT i grab my close n the mom instintaly new someone was in the house how i new mabe my friend running out the house gave it away no tym grabed my close n shoes the mom was in the hall way at the entrance FUCK ME I HAD A HARD ON n the mom look like a quarter back brod sholders big round she took up most of the hall way side to side fuck me i was like im fucked so i paniced i ran straight tord her she had a face like she wanted to takle me down she ran tord me i ran and spun like in a split second she grabed on to me but i spun in a curcle as i ran she managed to scrach me i sliped out openend the sliding back door it was locked at first n i managed to open it quick she grab pans n flug them tord me i ran so fast i must of hoped that wooden fence so quick i ran down the street but ass naked in the day tym n ran n put close on as fast as i could.... but thats the crazziest i have ever goten.
Click to expand...
Is that from "Tom Sawyer"?
 
B

Blazz

Member
I met this lady at a really cool bar in the town where I worked. We had some drinks and shot some pool and talked and laughed. Well, the convo turned to innuendo, yadda, yadda, and we wound up in her car. We drove to where I work and started making out. When we get to the point of peeling off clothes, I caught a whiff of the stankest pussie I have ever encountered. I mean I had no idea it could actually smell that bad, and looking back, I probably should have suggested she seek medical attention immediately. Anyway, not wanting to be rude, I was preparing to get up in it like a trooper (oral was out of the question), when there was a tap on the window. Apparently, a group of kids riding their bikes spotted us making out and told some nearby cops. The cops got me out of the car and just told me to go home. Only time I have ever been relieved by an interaction with the police, and I think they spared me the discomfort of getting treatment for an STD. I'm so glad they got to me before I started hitting it, as I'm sure the odor would've choked me out if it was already that bad in its undisturbed state. The thing I wonder about is how she didn't notice or, if she did, how she acted like nothing was amiss.
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Blazz said:
I met this lady at a really cool bar in the town where I worked. We had some drinks and shot some pool and talked and laughed. Well, the convo turned to innuendo, yadda, yadda, and we wound up in her car. We drove to where I work and started making out. When we get to the point of peeling off clothes, I caught a whiff of the stankest pussie I have ever encountered. I mean I had no idea it could actually smell that bad, and looking back, I probably should have suggested she seek medical attention immediately. Anyway, not wanting to be rude, I was preparing to get up in it like a trooper (oral was out of the question), when there was a tap on the window. Apparently, a group of kids riding their bikes spotted us making out and told some nearby cops. The cops got me out of the car and just told me to go home. Only time I have ever been relieved by an interaction with the police, and I think they spared me the discomfort of getting treatment for an STD. I'm so glad they got to me before I started hitting it, as I'm sure the odor would've choked me out if it was already that bad in its undisturbed state. The thing I wonder about is how she didn't notice or, if she did, how she acted like nothing was amiss.
Click to expand...
Web md says the average human vagina can be smelled from a foot away. I don't know about you but if a box smells from a foot away I'll fuckin think twice.
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer said:
Web md says the average human vagina can be smelled from a foot away. I don't know about you but if a box smells from a foot away I'll fuckin think twice.
Click to expand...
LOL WHERE on web md? I'd love to see the related article. There's just no reason to stank. These stink stories are making me queasy. Guys: you'd proceed even when you smelled death from the nether region? EWWW.
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer said:
http://blogs.webmd.com/womens-health/2014/10/why-does-my-vagina-smell.html

And there you have it.
Click to expand...
From WEB MD article:

So what is a “normal” amount of odor? After performing a very unscientific poll of all the gynecologist I know, we determined that one can smell a normal vagina from 1 foot away. More pungent odor or any associated with pain, burning or itching should prompt a visit to your provider.

Common causes of odor include:

A Forgotten Tampon – There is one odor that is so foul, it is unlike anything you have every smelled in your entire life. It’s the one smell that makes even the gynecologist gag: the forgotten tampon. The patients on many occasions have described the odors as ”it smells like something crawled up in there and died.” I would have to agree that this is an honest statement.


I'd like to know the kinds of patients these gyns. see. Sorry but if you can smell someone's ladybits from a foot away there is a hygiene problem.
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Hookabelly said:
From WEB MD article:

So what is a “normal” amount of odor? After performing a very unscientific poll of all the gynecologist I know, we determined that one can smell a normal vagina from 1 foot away. More pungent odor or any associated with pain, burning or itching should prompt a visit to your provider.

Common causes of odor include:

A Forgotten Tampon – There is one odor that is so foul, it is unlike anything you have every smelled in your entire life. It’s the one smell that makes even the gynecologist gag: the forgotten tampon. The patients on many occasions have described the odors as ”it smells like something crawled up in there and died.” I would have to agree that this is an honest statement.


I'd like to know the kinds of patients these gyns. see. Sorry but if you can smell someone's ladybits from a foot away there is a hygiene problem.
Click to expand...
That's natural funk, bruh. The enzymes and juices and bugs and garbage that collects in there only adds to it. Plus when a vag sneezes , the pussy snot hits the panties and then sticks to the lips, just making it fester and stick there. As it dries out, just like cheese, the water evaporates and the funk gets stronger. So an 18 year old vag has nothing on a 70 year vag. Just imagine all the pussy snot and clotted discharge that the 70 year old ones been coated with.

Ask me, I'm a doctor.
 
Pinworm

Pinworm

Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer said:
That's natural funk, bruh. The enzymes and juices and bugs and garbage that collects in there only adds to it. Plus when a vag sneezes , the pussy snot hits the panties and then sticks to the lips, just making it fester and stick there. As it dries out, just like cheese, the water evaporates and the funk gets stronger. So an 18 year old vag has nothing on a 70 year vag. Just imagine all the pussy snot and clotted discharge that the 70 year old ones been coated with.

Ask me, I'm a doctor.
Click to expand...
Reading while I'm driving to the store and almost crashed laughing. :lol: Asshole...
 
Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer said:
That's natural funk, bruh. The enzymes and juices and bugs and garbage that collects in there only adds to it. Plus when a vag sneezes , the pussy snot hits the panties and then sticks to the lips, just making it fester and stick there. As it dries out, just like cheese, the water evaporates and the funk gets stronger. So an 18 year old vag has nothing on a 70 year vag. Just imagine all the pussy snot and clotted discharge that the 70 year old ones been coated with.

Ask me, I'm a doctor.
Click to expand...
vagines are self cleaning....like most ovens. But you should post that on WEB MD. It would be priceless.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top