So my wife is going to pack up tonight

[matthew]

It's a lasting and profound thing...even if you don't remember all of it.It's buried in your subconscious, wreaking havoc on a lot of things,sex drive not the least of them. What you should do, is very gently touch her and kiss her in different places, and ask her if she likes it.Don't ask her what to do, try things,and stop immediately if she doesn't like it.Try to make the sex about her for a while.Go jerk off in bathroom afterwards if you have to,but DO NOT PRESSURE HER! If you want to use toys, I recommend the jack rabbit vibrator.....if that doesn't make her cum, nothing will.

I have tried all that, the ball is in her court right now, I have done everything I can do.

 

[Stoney McFried]

Then "DO" someone else.

I have tried all that, the ball is in her court right now, I have done everything I can do.

 

[matthew]

Then "DO" someone else.

I am, showing her the door.

 

[Budsworth]

Sounds to me like she was sexually abused.Thats not your fault, man.This is something she needs to work out on her own.And counseling isn't for everybody.To be fair to her, it could also be that you are lacking in sexual technique.Get yourself a copy of the sensuous man by "m"...its an oldie, but a goodie.And the next sexual partner you get, make sure you ask them how they like things done.Everyone is a little bit different, but some basic rules apply to all.....Keep your fingernails well manicured, don't put too much intial pressure on the clit, wait until the woman is more fully aroused,then try to apply more, don't pull the hood of the clitoris back until the woman has acheived full arousal either.....cease immediately if there is discomfort.The g spot can usually be found a couple of inches in(although its existence is disputed by some) and up, almost like you're trying to touch the clit from the inside. It's a spot that deviates a bit in texture from the surrounding area...a bit bumpier.Uhhhhh what else....oh...nipples are not radio knobs,always ask before you try to surprise someone with anal, some don't like it at all....use lube when playing with the clit,learn how to kiss without drowning the other person,pay attention to more than just boobs and box, and learn to control your ejaculation.If I think of more, I'll letcha know.

DANM Stoney, you just gave me a chubby.

 

[Stoney McFried]

Then my work here is done.

DANM Stoney, you just gave me a chubby.

 

[FlandersFlash]

Also, give another oldie a shot "THe Happy Hooker" by Xavier Hollander. I use her techniques and one of the best complimetns I ever got was, "Well, he may look like Opie, but he sure knows how to FUCK!"

 

[Stoney McFried]

I read that one, too.More of a story than anything,but the sensuous man and the sensuous woman are both like instructional guides....

Also, give another oldie a shot "THe Happy Hooker" by Xavier Hollander. I use her techniques and one of the best complimetns I ever got was, "Well, he may look like Opie, but he sure knows how to FUCK!"

 

[Prophecy]

My wife and I have been having problems for the past 3 months or so. Most of them sexual, neither of us are satisfied and I am the only one who wants to work on it. We had come to the verge of separating about 4 times and she never could actually do it and I hate seeing her cry. So late last night we go to bed and she is not "in the mood" (as usual) so I lay there for a little bit. My neck and back are killing me (fell off a roof a few years back) and I am out of bud so I figure WTF. Get up, go to my office and pulled up some "adult material", just about that time I hear someone breathing behind me. We sat and talked about it and neither of us is getting what we need (but I am the shmuck trying to figure out how to make it better). We both went back to bed (me with blue balls) and we talked a little more. My wife's mom is going out of town this weekend and her little brother and sister were going to stay with us (another long story but they are 18 and 14).

So this morning my wife decides that instead of the kids coming over here she is going to stay at her mom's house with them and then find a place to live after that. Another big problem here is that she is going to get the raw end of this deal. I make enough that if I was single I would be living the high life. Right now she does not work at all and goes to school full time, we live on my salary and have only had to dip into savings twice in about 5 months. That being said she drives a 06 model car, has a new iPhone, gets her hair done on a regular basis and I almost always break down and treat her to manicures and pedicures with extra cash I make. So even if she gets a part time gig there is no way she can afford rent, her car, her phone and food. She wants to move in with her mom (going through a divorce right now) but the second we got married her room got turned into a media room so there is literally not a bed for her. Apartment rent would eat all but about $5 of her income by itself so that is really out of the question.

I really do love the girl with all my heart and I would like to think she isn't going to screw me here (I am not going to say I KNOW she isn't because there are plenty of men out there who KNEW their wifes were faithful or honest who weren't.) So I am going to end up paying her car payment for her ($400 a month) till she gets out of school. On top of all this we borrowed a good chunk of cash (low 5 figures) for her to go to school. I know she will pay it back just because she really is a good person and has way more pride than that.

So to sum this sob story all up, we are both still very much in love but so incompatible its killing us both. We have tried counseling and my wife was very tight lipped and even more so when the guy brought up sex. At this point I do want to give the single life a try. I don't really want to date at this point but I do want to do what I want when I want and actually have some fucking cash.

**********************************************************

Need both likely ought to turn to God; either together, apart, or togehter and apart. By doing so, you will eventually get the absolute understanding that's best for both of you; I would say if you choose to turn to God to give it at least five years of sincere soul searching.

These things happen to alot of people, but not all go about resolving it in the right manner: Jesus Christ and the Truth shall set you free. If you are seeking Love/God right, I promise everything wil wok out to your true fate. One thng for sure, must do it for the right reasons and you can't force the others; what I am sayng is if eve wants to eat that fruit that doesn't necessarily mean you should too: the greater act of Love could be exercise by you not eating, as in holding firm to what God the Father commanded in your heart.

 

[matthew]

**********************************************************

Need both likely ought to turn to God; either together, apart, or togehter and apart. By doing so, you will eventually get the absolute understanding that's best for both of you; I would say if you choose to turn to God to give it at least five years of sincere soul searching.

These things happen to alot of people, but not all go about resolving it in the right manner: Jesus Christ and the Truth shall set you free. If you are seeking Love/God right, I promise everything wil wok out to your true fate. One thng for sure, must do it for the right reasons and you can't force the others; what I am sayng is if eve wants to eat that fruit that doesn't necessarily mean you should too: the greater act of Love could be exercise by you not eating, as in holding firm to what God the Father commanded in your heart.

God is imaginary and is about as present in the bedroom as the flying spagetti monster. We actually had a marriage councler tell us that you have to have God in your life to have a good sex life. I turned to him and said "so there is not a single atheist couple on earth with a good sex life?" He stammered and studdered and then I think he realized just how dumb his statement was. God is actually going to be a big reason our marriage ends. My wife has an imaginary friend that she chats with some times, I don't.

Also I just checked your posts and you have not made a SINGLE post about marijuana. So why are you here?

 

[wackymack]

i dont really believe in god that much anymore but its when u are at the hardest part of your life is when he stands back to let you deal with it to only make you a better person,god never gives you more than you can handle(excluding suicidal people bc there minds are preset and cannot change)

just try asking god to show you the way and things will get better eventually.

just listen to the lyrics of this song even if you dont like the artist,genre or what ev,just close your eyes and open your ears YouTube - 2Pac - Keep Ya Head Up

 

[fukdapolice]

just listen to the lyrics of this song even if you dont like the artist,genre or what ev,just close your eyes and open your ears YouTube - 2Pac - Keep Ya Head Up

a favorite of mine.. a good message for everyone.

one of my favorite lines in that song is

"its gonna take the man in me to conquer this insanity"

+rep for postin that.

and to thread starter.. i dont have much advice - ive never been in ur situation. but take it easy. let her do what she wants, she may end up unhappier without you.

 

[waterwitch]

sounds like they gave you some good advise good luck!

 

[daydrops]

if you do split up for real, do yourself a favor and don't do the back and forth thing. if it's off, let it go. don't look back. people have a tendency to return to what is comfortable, especially women.

oh, and please stay single for a while. men don't need to get married, for a host of good reasons, until they are in their 30's.

good luck.

 

[daydrops]

**********************************************************

Need both likely ought to turn to God; either together, apart, or togehter and apart. By doing so, you will eventually get the absolute understanding that's best for both of you; I would say if you choose to turn to God to give it at least five years of sincere soul searching.

These things happen to alot of people, but not all go about resolving it in the right manner: Jesus Christ and the Truth shall set you free. If you are seeking Love/God right, I promise everything wil wok out to your true fate. One thng for sure, must do it for the right reasons and you can't force the others; what I am sayng is if eve wants to eat that fruit that doesn't necessarily mean you should too: the greater act of Love could be exercise by you not eating, as in holding firm to what God the Father commanded in your heart.

BWWAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA

don't expect good marriage advice from a 30 yr virgin, or the supposedly virgin priests or the secretly gay pastors who talk about him.

 

[xochi]

women honestly have no idea who they are or what they want untill about 23. i know i had my head up my ass, i heard the pop and i panicked, had to get my life back on track and destroyed everything and everyone in my path. it sucked then and it sucks now, havent been able to be involved with a man since, and believe me i don't have any more ease relating to women than you do. divorce is hell, but you gotta step up and say fuck her, shed off that shroud of negativity and release yourself of any notions of self blame the faster you get back on yor feet and get out in the world the less time you spend in the pit.

 

[MrFishy]

I don't see this as being anything at least 50% of us have gone through (probably more like 90%) and survived. It's no fun, but doesn't have to kill you.

I hate to see young 20-somethings getting so serious about life and love. There's plenty of time to fuck up your life later. I think it's tougher on the ladies, being married young.
Sexually try to remember that men are visual, and woman read.

Oh, I married a pregnant 15-yr-old when I was 19, in 1970 . . . never saw her or my son after 1973.
It's a shame, but wasn't fatal.

 

[ElBarto]

Sounds to me like she was sexually abused.Thats not your fault, man.This is something she needs to work out on her own.And counseling isn't for everybody.To be fair to her, it could also be that you are lacking in sexual technique.Get yourself a copy of the sensuous man by "m"...its an oldie, but a goodie.And the next sexual partner you get, make sure you ask them how they like things done.Everyone is a little bit different, but some basic rules apply to all.....Keep your fingernails well manicured, don't put too much intial pressure on the clit, wait until the woman is more fully aroused,then try to apply more, don't pull the hood of the clitoris back until the woman has acheived full arousal either.....cease immediately if there is discomfort.The g spot can usually be found a couple of inches in(although its existence is disputed by some) and up, almost like you're trying to touch the clit from the inside. It's a spot that deviates a bit in texture from the surrounding area...a bit bumpier.Uhhhhh what else....oh...nipples are not radio knobs,always ask before you try to surprise someone with anal, some don't like it at all....use lube when playing with the clit,learn how to kiss without drowning the other person,pay attention to more than just boobs and box, and learn to control your ejaculation.If I think of more, I'll letcha know.

The single most effective piece of advice I ever received:

learn to lick the alphabet.​

Matthew, it sounds to me like you got married too young. It may be time to cut your losses. Be grateful that there are no children involved. Good luck.

 

[UshUsh]

That really sucks dude, can't say I know how it feels to love someone but not be able to be with them because of incompatibility. Sounds like your being pretty mature about, isn't there enough guys who are complete fuckwits throughout a divorce/break up. Good on you dude.

 

[johndoe2216751]

i didnt read anything but the title, and one of your other threads.. sounds like the best thing to happen.. fuck someone trying to change you.

 

[dannyking]

dont pay her bills!!! thats crazy, you said she doesnt want to work on it where as you do, i think your getting the short straw here mate.